Wensleydale and Salmon

George Wensleydale loves his balcony. A cup of tea, a good book, glorious sunshine and, above all, peace. These are the things he cherishes.

Unfortunately, his neighbour has other ideas. Her constant intrusion into his quiet time, as she wanders around her garden brashly calling for her cat, drive George to the edge of insanity.

The only way to resolve the issue, is to hatch a horrifying plan...

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4. Chapter 4.

By Sunday lunchtime, the cat was dead.

Wensleydale sat on the balcony, dressed in the same stinking clothes, arms wrapped around his body, observing the garden below. Four hours earlier, he’d seen the wretched animal slowly crawling along the path then disappearing into a gap between two rhododendrons.  It hadn’t moved since.

He rocked backwards and forwards in his chair, anticipating the moment that his odious neighbour would come out, calling pathetically for her little bundle of fluffy joy, only to find it stiff as a board in a quiet corner of the garden. Perhaps, distraught, insane with grief, she would collapse right there in the garden, her cholesterol-choked heart finally succumbing to the years of abuse she had waged upon it.  Imagine that!  Her and that bloody cat, side by side, legs in the air, dead as dodos.

Wensleydale bit his hand and chortled into the flesh, scratching at his flaking scalp with the unclipped fingernails of his other hand.

His neighbour didn’t find her cat.  She called for him (oh Lord did she call for him) but he didn’t appear.  Her plaintive cries grew weaker and weaker as, over the course of ten days, she lost hope of seeing her little Bobby again. Wensleydale hid in his bedroom, curled up next to the wardrobe, listening to her through the window, occasionally reaching up to tentatively finger one of the spots that had developed on his neck from an accumulation of grime.

He’d go back outside in a day or two.  As soon as she gave up calling and he could be assured of peace and quiet.  Just a few more days.

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