The Atheism E-Book

A composition of conversion stories from theism.

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1. Why It Took Me 28 Years As A Jehovah’s Witness To Become An Atheist

was raised as and continued to live under my own volition as a very devout Jehovah's Witness. I excelled within my church, was looked up to, studied hard, spent countless hours in volunteer work (preaching and construction). Quite frankly, I had no reason to doubt my faith, it had become my career. I was doing well, everyone looked up to me, I was a gifted public speaker, I had the hottest girl in the valley (within my religious community, of course) as my girlfriend. Life was good. At the age of 27, I was removed from all of my privileges because someone overheard me say, "F'n." Not the actual fuck word; EFF apostrophe ENN. This offended them, my elders decided that if I'm offending people with my speech, then I'm not fit to be in an appointed position (ministerial servant and regular pioneer were the "titles"). I now found myself, still living at home, working dead end part time jobs that supported me and gave me free time to volunteer through the church, no formal education beyond community college. This gave me the free time to finally go back and investigate with an actual open mind all the things that I had gone over in high school and college, things like evolution, the big bang, specifically human evolution. All of these proved the Genesis account as completely false. I finally accepted that fact, realized that Adam could not have existed, therefore we did not "inherit sin", this nullifies Christ's ransom, and also nullifies any Bible writer that references any of the events or people in Eden (there goes pretty much the entire New Testament). Since the Bible had been proven inaccurate, what does that say about its "writer"? The Bible is the only source in which we come to understand the existence of God. The only logical conclusion was that the God of the Bible, the Abrahamic God, Jehovah, Yahweh, Illohim, Al Shaddai, Allah, God Almighty, that god could not exist. Since I had no other gods that I believed in, this left me an atheist. That moment, that realization, took about one full second. Months (years prior, really) of research, internal debate, comparing theories and ideas came down to one second of decision. I was a devout believing Christian one second, the next I was an atheist. I also knew this meant I would have to leave my church. And with Jehovah's Witnesses, you don't get to walk away. You have to leave. Bridges are burned for you whether you want them to or not. Friends are required to shun you. The congregation is required to shun you. Your family is only allowed to have contact with you on official family business. Thus, I had to fake it. I had to pretend to still be a Jehovah's Witness until I could set up a whole new life. One where I wouldn't have to see these people every day, where I wouldn't have to see the look of disgust on their faces. So I started planning to move 1,200 miles away in Seattle, WA. I got accepted to the University of Washington, and got a job in Las Vegas with a company that is also situated in Seattle. After a year of planning, I finally did it. I came out to my friends in person as much as possible. One of them jumped the gun and decided to spread the word before I could and it messed a lot of things up. People started panicking and calling me, very upset, I had physical threats against me, my family found out before I could tell them. It was a mess. At the same time, it showed what kind of people they genuinely were. I had done no wrong other than research and learn. Yet I was an object of hatred. After I moved, things smoothed over with my family. My brothers know I'm an atheist, my parents can't fully accept that and just think I left the church. Either way, I'm far more content now. And I love this life. This is the only life we have, and it can be beautiful. But only if we paint it ourselves.

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