Finding myself

by
Jemma
  • Published:
    26 Jun 12
  • On 0 favourite lists
  • 462 views
Blurb A story about what really matters in life, a girl finds out who she is, she realises that it's not just boys that matter, she helps fund a charity in a trek and decides that despite another event she will take part. I will accept any constructive comments, but please dont just state some harshly rude comments. Thank You, happy reading.
No keywords
Category:
Non Fiction
Rating:
Approx 2 minutes to read


Finding myself

1. OMG!

As if! In front of my boyfriend as well! He saw my mascara drip, it rolled down my cheek, like a waterfall. I told him that I never wore make up, now he things I'm a liar. Well, I suppose he's right, but everything was going perfectly between us, we never rowed or bickered. We were the perfect couple, with no faults. Suddenly, my phone began to ring, i peered over to my phone and saw his name 'Blake' written across the screen, I wasn't sure whether to answer or hang up. Reluctantly I picked up the handset.

"Hi Blake, why did you ring? I thought we were over?" I said in an awkward way, I wasn't sure wether this was meant to be the 'i made the wrong decision call' or not.

His voice began almost like a whisper, "I don't want you back! No! I was just ringing to say the oppisite in fact - i just wanted to check that you knew we were over." In the background I could hear another girl telling Blake to get off her.

"Who's that Blake? The girl in the background?" I laughed imagining him with another girl.

In a depressing tone, Blake replied, " I can't keep lieing to you, this is my girlfriend you can hear Sonya, we have been going out for about six months!" i dropped the phone and ran to the bathroom, my mascara ran again, reminding me of the time we broke up. Those happy days. But I just can't believe that he would do something like this to me. After all we've been through!

 

 

Comments (3)

  • IceCreamGirlGood start! An intriguing resume and a brilliant prologue showing what's happening well.
    Maybe try and show her emotions a bit more, like"My heart broke there and then, I could feel it cracking inside" or something very emotional.
    Also, you've done a good beginning, but you come into it a bit too fast. Beginnings with action are good, but try and pace it a bit more, describe what's going on.
    But otherwise, a good beginning keep it up!
    If you have time, could you check out my movella Sorry?I would love your opinion!
    JemmaThanks for the amazing comments, very constructrive, sure I'll check it out!
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