Shivers crept down my spine, tears went down my eyes. The thing I was most scared of would always be there however hard I tried to get rid of it. I could commit suicide. It would remain with me in hell, remain with me after death. 

Unless I reincarnated but how do I know if there is reincarnation or the afterlife? I don't, it is a risk worth never having, never...

'Grace.' The whisper came through the shadows as I looked up upon her white, skeletal body. I was the one who caused that of her, I was the one that caused her death. If I had never been here it wouldn't have happened.

'Maria, how sorry I am. I deserve no life.' I sprawled out across the surface of the ground, deep guilt and regret consuming me.

'You have no cause. You have no cause.' Her voice echoed around me and I felt my hand reach out for her but she was gone... Just like that.

The only company I had left was the snow flakes dropping on my deep black hair, making it wet, making it lose its shine. I felt my hand reach out and grasp the coldness of the snow with my bare hands. I let it make me cry out in agony, for the coldness was too bad yet I had purposely come out here with no top, just my bra and pants and no shoes, nothing.

I did all that to get revenge on myself.

For I was scared of

Myself.