1. 21st Feb 2012
Today, I decided to keep track of my thoughts. I know, I know. I'm at such a young age. But I don't care anymore. Every word people said to me is a lie. The people I trusted the most, it's only now that I realised. Why couldn't I see it before. It was so obvious, why couldn't I see it. I was so blind, but even though I can see now. I have nothing to look at.
All of what you are going through reminds me of when I was 14, which doesn't seem so long ago. Everyone is lost at your age, which I know isn't much use now, but in a few years you'll look back on these experiences and think that was a low point of my life but look at me now because all these bad experiences shape who you become. I can relate to a hell of a lot of what you are going through. When I was sixteen, a bit older than you, I found out my boyfriend who was 19 who I'd been with for four months had cheated on me with this horrible slut who lived in our town. I had a massive argument with him and he turned it all round on me because I hadn't been ready to give him everything - if you know what I mean. He made me feel worthless and stupid to the point I didn't feel good enough for him even though he was in the wrong. when I finally finished with him, him and my bestfriend - or so I thought - hooked up the day after and then went out for 8 months. I really hated my life and I thought it would never get better. But the point is now I'm going to university and I have brilliant friends and where is my ex and my ex bestfriend?
My ex is being taken to court for domestic violence against his most recent ex, still lives with his parents and has no friends and my ex best friend is a college drop out who has been kicked out of her home by her mum, has gained a hell of a lot of weight, had an abortion and no guy where i live would touch with a barge pole - karmas a bitch ;)
I'm not telling you this for pity, every girl has a similar story, the point is things sort themselves out in the end and I realise my example of this is rather extreme but your ex will probably do the same as he did to you to this new girl. It may hurt now but in the end it will be for the best.
Hope my little story helps - sorry for such a long comment.
keep writing though, you are very talented! :)