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Sand Castles.

by
twistedspines.
+ like 1
  • Published:
    7 Feb 12
  • On 1 favourite lists
  • 475 views
Blurb For the love competition although I don't know how to actully enter the competition :S
Plot keywords:
love, admiration, longing, fear
Category:
Poetry
Rating:
Approx 2 minutes to read


Sand Castles.

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1. Sandcastles.

And when I stared at you

I imagined us, on the perfect view

Crisp air and the land of honey

Place of peace and no money

But when my eyes release

From visions that should never cease

My heart burns and my devils feast

Like a crown of thorns,

Just pronouce deceased!

Even though with my eyes opening

To the sheer beauty of the front of the cue

My happiness is sloping

Because when I look at you

All I can see is that view. 

Of me and guess who?

  Let's be rulers of our castles

Just don't think about those assholes

Be with me and be free

Tell me no, I'll drop to my knees

Cry and plead for you just to see

That I'm stuck out on this sea

I've crashed and wrapped around a tree

And all I need is your help to see, who is me?

Be my baby bird and set me free

Let's not be a part of this wolf pack

That is circling me like vultures

Alpha males quizzing me about you in the sack

I tell the truth "she's just not like that"

They assume the truth, I can't even speak to you

I should just give up, I'm just a hack

But it's my nature to want what I can't have. 

Now this is the secret you don't know

Within my frozen heart, coated in snow

I want you, to be the star of my show

I want to see you glow

And help you grow. 

And the sad part is,

You will never know.

  You'll never want to be the star of my show. 

 

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Comments (5)

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  • Nicollei like the lines "crisp air and the land of honey, place of peace and no money" lovely image :)
  • Rob MarvinI like the rhyme scheme, it reflects well the persona's emotions! It's one of those poems which seems like a modern-world-traditional crash, which I kinda like! :) Take a look at my poems? Thanks :)
  • HanEpshi!
    this is really good, very interesting. i like how you change the tone and rhythm throughout the poem, it keeps the reader on thier toes and is a great metaphor for how the speaker is feeling :D you did a really great job! did you see the comment i left on my blog as to how to enter the competition??
    twistedspines. Yeah I did, I really appreciate it =]. But I entered and it didn't have need an upload or selection or anything so I'm not sure if it worked. :S Thank you so much for the kind words =]
    HanEpswhat you have to do, is once youve pressed the join competition button, you copy and paste, or type out again, your poem. once youve pressed the button it should automatically take you to a page where you can write a new movella, and then you press save and its done. if you want to check if it worked just click where it says participants and try and find your poem :D and no problem, i really liked it :D
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