Confusion

Waning: Boy X boy story. (Smut)
Felix is a normal guy who don't know much about relationships and just goes to high-school, but a group of guys always bully him and hurts him and calls him gay. One day one of the guys from that group, Lewis (Luis) surprises him.
And Lewis does it again and again, and it makes Felix a little uncountable.
But maybe Felix grows to not think much of it...or...

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11. It’s all confusing

I didn’t know what to do, I felt weird. And didn’t want to be with Lewis, I really didn’t want to go to school. But I had to, I had to be strong. (But at the same time I wanted to see Lewis...) What?! No no no no! No I didn’t! Lewis is a pervert, he kisses me all the time and he touches me ‘But it has grown to an habit, and you have grown to like it a bit, right?’ I could hear the voice in the back of my head say “No no no…..I don’t, I think it’s weird. It makes me uncountable!” I said out loud ‘But you know, you just need to learn to love it…...And him...Right?’ The voice said again “I would never like him” I said ‘Then why don’t you stop him whenever he tries to kiss you?’ “...” I was speechless. Was he really getting to me?

***

I was laying in my bed, all covered up in blankets. I had made a list of things that I hated and liked about Lewis, I had to figure all of this out. I also had my computer and were looking things up that I didn’t understand. I ended up with a list where the only things I hated were that he cornered me sometimes, made weird noises and touched me in weird places. Everything else I didn’t really seem to mind (And there were a lot of those) I didn’t understand, didn’t I hate him?! ‘You did but now you don’t….You have come to like him, right?’ The voice asked again “...” I didn’t know what to say…. ‘If you don’t know how to handle this right now...Then do it tomorrow, and see what he says about it’ “O-okay” I said.

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