Confusion

Waning: Boy X boy story. (Smut)
Felix is a normal guy who don't know much about relationships and just goes to high-school, but a group of guys always bully him and hurts him and calls him gay. One day one of the guys from that group, Lewis (Luis) surprises him.
And Lewis does it again and again, and it makes Felix a little uncountable.
But maybe Felix grows to not think much of it...or...

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13. He...He didn’t….

It had been a week, I had said that I was sick because I didn’t want to run into Lewis for some time. I couldn’t look him in the eye, I was scared. Lewis had been given me pictures and texts about what we had for homework so I didn’t worry too much about them. He did ask me if I were okay and if I needed something talk about, I always said I was okay and that I didn’t have anything to talk about. I was keeping all of the things I wanted to tell Lewis, it hurt. I had tried many times where Lewis would come by, and when my mother had opened the door he would say “Sorry, wrong house (Again)” And walk off, he was probably waiting for me to open the door so he could talk to me. One day I got a text from him

 

Lewis: Ok look, I know there is something wrong. You dont usually act like this, why wont you talk to me about it?

 

Me: There is nothing to talk about, I’m fine.

 

Lewis: I know youre not. Tell me the truth

 

“...”

 

Me: I can’t tell you. But there is something.

 

Lewis: Tell me, cant you trust me?!

 

Me: It’s not that. I just don’t know how to explain it. Can you give me some time?

 

Lewis: ...Ok…

 

After some time he stopped texting me completely, I was a little sad. I wanted to see Lewis but I was so scared. He had also stopped coming by and said that it was the wrong house.

***

Mother had taken off to go to work, I was all alone. Mother had said that one of our neighbours would maybe come over and ask if he could borrow some of our garden things, so I looked forward to maybe have a little chat with him.

I was in my room reading when I heard the doorbell ring, I got down and opened the door. I was expecting to see a neighbour but I didn’t get that. Instead I got a Lewis standing and looking at me. “I came over to talk” He said “Ha ha...O-okay, b-but I don’t really have time right now so….Bye” I said fast and closed the door, but I couldn’t, Lewis had placed his foot so I couldn’t close it. He opened the door again and walked in “We need to talk” “Well I don’t have anything to talk about” I muttered “Is your mom home?” “She’s at work, but there will maybe come a neighbour over to borrow some things” I said “...’Maybe’ huh?” He just said to himself quiet, he looked at me. I didn’t like the way he looked at me, it made me shiver and made my heart beat a little faster. He got closer to me, I could feel the wall behind me. When he had closed the gap between us, I looked up at him, I could see he had a little smile on his face “What?” I said irritated “You’re blushing” He said “I-I am?!” I was surprised myself, I could feel myself being hotter in the face than I already was “You’re blushing even more now” He said and chuckled “It’s because it’s embarrassing!” I said annoyed, when he was done he said “No no no, I just think it’s cute. You don’t usually show these kinds of emotions, or rather...You don’t usually blush” He said, and looked around but didn’t move “Well, I don’t easily blush” I said, he quickly turned his head towards me “What?!” “What?” I asked, I didn’t understand the sudden change “You don’t usually blush?! But you do now!?” Oh no, I had stepped in a dangerous field. “Oh, no no no no no! I-I didn’t m-mean that I d-don’t usually blush, I-I just meant-” I was caught on my own words when Lewis kissed me, I quickly tried to pull away “H-hey, st-stop I don’t-” I was kissed again, I could feel that if I didn’t stop now he would just continue. I quickly pushed him hard aside “Hey, why are you like this?! Last time you just let it happen, what happened?! Is is me?! Have I done something?!” I could see that he was very frustrated “It has nothing to do with you!” I said loud “Then what?!” “It’s me okay?! It’s me that there is something wrong with!” After I had said that I leaned up against the wall and let me drop to the floor, I could feel Lewis came down beside me. “What’s wrong?” He asked a little after “You can tell me anything” “You’re the person I can’t tell everything” I said “Why?” “...” “Because it has something to do with you…” I could feel he looked at me “What is it that I have done?” “It’s not something you have done….Or...It is...Kind of, but it’s also me…” “I don’t understand, what is it? Come on” Lewis said. I could feel my chest hurt, I couldn’t breath, I couldn’t tell him. “H-hey are you okay?! You’re hyperventilation! I-is it because you can’t tell me?! T-then I won’t ask about it okey?! Felix?!” I couldn’t calm down, I wanted to tell him but I was so scared “It hurts…” Was the only thing to get out “Huh?” “I-it hurts to tell you” I said a little louder “If you tell me then it will go away” He was holding me tight now “B-but I’m scared of the thought of you’ll hate me if I told you” “Idiot, why would I hate you. I like you dammit” I could feel he was shaking a little “Then….I will say it...A-and you can just walk away if you want to” “God you’re so stupid” I could hear him say under his breath, I waited a little before I leaned into his ear “I…..Like you…” I was a little scared of he didn’t hear it, there were silence for the longest time. He slowly pulled away and we locked eyes, he then hugged me tight “You’re such and idiot, why would I hate you for saying that you liked me too?” He asked low “I-I don’t know, I tend to overthink things” I said “Well...You don’t have to be scared of telling me things, I won’t get angry” We sat and hugged for a long time, it was nice.

***

I was in the kitchen and were getting something for Lewis, I got us some juice. As I did so I could feel that Lewis was holding an close eye on me, I turned around “What is it?” I asked “Nothing” he said “It’s not ‘nothing’ when you look like that” I said “No, you’re right. It’s not ‘nothing’ there is actually something” “And that is?” “How cute you look” He said with a little chuckle “Oi, I don’t like being called cute!” “Why not?” “Because I’m a guy! It’s like telling a mouse ‘Oh hey, you’re pretty tiny’ I don’t think mouses like being called that either“ I could hear him laugh loud behind me, I sat his glass down and sat down beside him, I could feel he was watching me.

The doorbell rang “Oh shit, is that your mom?” Lewis asked “Stupid, she wouldn’t have rang the bell, she would just have walked in” I said as I walked towards the door, it was my neighbour. “Oh, hello come in. I’ll get the garden tools” I walked past Lewis who were watching me close, and outside to the garden. I took the tools and got inside again, I gave them to him “Should I help you with it?” I asked “No no it’s fine, but-” He came a little closer “-Who is that? I’ve never seen him” “Oh, it’s a friend” I said, I said goodbye and sat beside Lewis again “What time are your mom home?” He asked “7 o’clock” I said, I took my glass and Lewis’s and placed them in the sink. “Can I go and check your room out?” He asked “Sure, just don’t touch anything” “Okay okay” He said, I could hear him walking up the stairs and opening doors.

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