[1] Matthew and Lucas

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  • Publiceret: 17 jul. 2016
  • Opdateret: 17 jul. 2016
  • Status: Igang
Part one; This is the first love story in which we meet the homosexuals Matthew and Lucas.

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2. 1.2L

My eyes shoot right open at his words, but I close them tightly again. Pretending to be asleep is so hard. Especially when you’re finally laying next to someone you love. And, um, holding his penis. Why did I do that? That was so stupid of me. I know he is straight. He even brought two blankets to the room so that we could sleep separately. But now I am holding his gender in my hand. He moaned, I got hard too. Stupid of me, I know, it probably happened to him while thinking that it was a pretty girl who did it. Mika, maybe. Those two are awfully close. Mika sits right next to me in class, and I always notice him looking at her out of the corner of his eye. Does he like her? Please, don’t let that be the case. Please…

When I hear him mumbling I realize that he is awake. That’s why my eyes shot open. Fuck, what do I do now? And rather than that, did he just say that this is… bad? I mean, I’m not too shocked. He is straight, after all. Man, I would be freaked out too if someone I thought to be him held my cock, and then realize that it was a girl or something. But he didn’t have to say it out loud. I don’t want to hear it.

I feel him slowly bringing his hands down to release my grip on it. I don’t resist. I am pretending to be asleep, after all, so anything else wouldn’t make sense anyway. I know he didn’t like it. I know it. He would be disgusted with me if he knew that I thought this way. That’s why I don’t want to get close to him. That’s why I never even high-five him or go with him to the beach or see him changing or even sit next to him. That’s why. I know he doesn’t like me. I know, but I still can’t fight off the urge to look at his face. Slowly and carefully I open my eyes so that I can see through a tiny slit, it still looks like my eyes are closed, so it should be okay… What?

 

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

 

 

Why does he look like that, red and slightly sweaty as though he had just run? Why is he looking as me with those longing eyes? Why are his eyes so… sad? Why does he look like he is in love? Why? He clearly isn’t. Fuck. I feel myself redden, and I turn my back to him so that he doesn’t notice. I love him. I love him, I love him so much. I love how he looks right now. If only time could stop right now. Just this one, precious, precious moment… Please, let me have it. But please… don’t give me false hope.

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