Shouting Letters

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  • Publiceret: 6 jul. 2016
  • Opdateret: 7 jul. 2016
  • Status: Igang
- (på engelsk) ''Insecure. It's always mattered more to me what my friends think about me than what I think.'' I hate saying it out loud. That's why I never did. Rowan Meredith Carpenter. An insecure girl who lives with depression while going through high school. She needs someone, but no one needs her.


2. High School


I'm on my phone as I'm walking to the first day of high school. I notice my shoes. It is my first time walking in them. Were they worth buying? I used the money I got from babysitting Ava. A cute little blonde girl who lives close to me and she's starting middle school today. Brilliant! I miss the first day of middle school. Everything was so easy. I get a little smirk on my face.

I can see the big building. My high school. It is not my first time visiting. My dad drove me over to it, to see it some months before I graduated from middle school. It looked great. The classrooms were nice and the teachers seemed kind. The bathrooms were not that good looking, but who uses the bathrooms in school nowadays? I'm looking forward to the subjects. I'm into Science, Drama and English so that's what I've chosen to be my favorite subject. I walk into the already open doors. I see about fifty people standing in the hallway, almost separated. There probably are some of these people who knows each other, but their lockers maybe have space between them so everyone are just doing their own thing. I take my notebook up from my backpack. Locker: 34. Well this is locker 1 so I gotta go a little bit longer down the hallway. Now, I'm not finding my locker. I'm most likely finding my way to my locker. There is so many people, that I almost can't make through every fifth person I stand by.

I get up to my locker and take a key out of my pocket. I open the locker with it. It's empty but I can still see some marks where the tape and glue has been sitting on the inside of the lockers door. I fill my empty locker with notebooks, pencils and what else I have in this heavy backpack. Should I leave my computer in there or should I bring it with me, just in case? I look up and find a little room in my locker where my computer can stand. People know about this room, but you don't see my computer. I'm not gonna walk around with my empty backpack the whole day so I just stuff it in there with the rest 0f the things. I shut the locker very loud when I'm supposed to close it. I was scared if it would make a big noise, but because of all the other fifty people in the hallway talking, it was only me who heard it. I take a deep breath. I remember that my first stop is classroom 23 for English and that I'm supposed to be there in like 3 minutes. I think I'm remembering where it's placed because of the school tour, months before the summer break. I notice the stairs but before I even go one step, I feel a finger touching my shoulder. I turn around and see a girl who's about ten centimeters shorter than me. ''Ca- can you help me?'' she asks. Do I look like one knowing how to help? I take it as a compliment. ''What's up?'' I smile without showing my teeth.

''I'm looking for English class, number 23'' she says. ''That's where I'm going! Follow me'' I answer. She's brighting up. I start walking again and go up the stairs. I turn around a corner and find classroom 23. ''I guess it's here'' I say. She nods. ''Thank you ...'' She's looking after my name with her eyes. ''Rowan. My name is Rowan.'' I smile. ''Thank you, Rowan. I'm Helena.'' I nod while smiling. Again not showing my teeth. Not because I don't like my teeth, but right now, It just seems fake. We walk slowly inside the door. About 10 people are in the classroom already. Helena and I take a seat right next to each other. We get our books for English. Again some new students gets into the classroom. This time, a pretty cool looking girl and behind her, some boys. She's wearing just black. She walks over to us and sits right next to Helena. Helena and I look at each other. Helena sends me a crooked smile. I smile, with my teeth. Almost like a laugh. The girl looks at us. ''Your first time here?'' She asks us. We nod. ''Not mine.'' She says with a serious tone. Right after, she blinks to us.

What I've learnt? High School is definitely not what it is like in movies.

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