It’s only three month ago, we met. I didn’t even know his name. Now, I know him from the center of his bones and out.
I had heard his name several times, but I had never seen him. They called him “the Alfa”. Why? I never got to know.
Without knowing it, I had met him, walking with a friend. We sad talking for a while, my friend and I. He just sat there, didn’t really say much. It’s was one of my bad days, and I remember how sad I was. I had many things going on in my head. He was just smiling. Reading me.
The second time I met him, was at a party at his place. I was sick, it was Friday, and my best friend called me, said there was a party, at this boy’s house, and he wanted me to come. “Why”, I asked. I never got an answer on that, but I chose to go. I took the next train with my best friend, to the town, where he lived, the Alfa.
The first time I saw him, I didn’t recognize him. Like, at all.
We ran around in the city, after alcohol to the party. I remember he had this speaker in his scooter, and it played a song, the same song, at least a million times. He had so much energy, jumped around like a monkey. He was so funny and accommodating, not like I imagined an Alfa to be.
We came back to his house. He had two single beds, standing along the wall, and two tables in the middle, to all the alcohol and beer pong. I sucked at beer pong, but it only made it funnier. And then suddenly, they came up with a challenge. They were supposed to hit my cleavage, with a ball, I think, and if they could, I should drink 10 shots. First round, nobody hits. Second round, he hits. Down my cleavage. I smiled, and took the shots. No problem. Unfortunately, three of those shots, was something my stomach couldn’t tolerate. So I became even sicker, than I had been the whole day.
I sat outside, on the stairs, looking at the garden. He kept coming out to check on me, and to make sure that I didn’t miss anything. I had hoped that he would sit with me and talk, but unfortunately, my best friend came out. I hated him, at that time, and hoped the most, that he would just go away, but he didn’t, and I was forced to sit and talk to him.
It turned out okay, and we became friends again. My body was hurting, from the tip of my toes to the split ends on my hair, and my biggest wish was just to go home. But for some reason, I didn’t regret that I had taking the long ride to the town. Because, if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have met him, the Alfa. And just by meeting him, I became more and more curious. There was something about this boy, that I couldn’t explain, and I hadn’t even talked that much to him.
My mom came, and picked me up. And when I left, I felt happy. No one, had ever been so nice to me, and he didn’t even knew me.
The Tuesday after, I texted him, asking if he threw a party more, the next Friday. He had made me so curious, that I just needed to get to know him better. It turned out, that he actually threw a party, that Friday. We began texting more. The first two days, it was superficial. A lot of the boys had told him, that he didn’t have a chance with me, at all, so of cause, he tried. At first, he only tried, just to see if he could. But then, we began to open up to each other. I found him so fascinating, so smart and interesting. He saw the world from a whole other perspective, than I did myself. I think I began to like him a bit. We had been texting for two days, none stop, at that point. And I had been at their garage on the school both days, just to talk to him and all the boys.
Thursday, for some reason I owned him a kiss, or he owned me one. I don’t remember who owned who, and it doesn’t matter. Friday, I was at their garage again. My best friend took both of us outside, in the front of the school. We talked, hugged a few times. I remember, my best friend went inside for a while. We stood on the road, holding hands. He was talking, smiling. I couldn’t stop myself. I kissed him.
My best friend came out again, and we kept kissing. Their lessons were about to begin, and I was supposed to get home, change clothes, pack a few thing and get back to the station, to meet them again. My best friend took his arm, and tried to pull him inside, but he insisted to say, kiss and hug me goodbye like eight times. It was so cute. The smile on his face, it was worth a million.
The whole way home, my smile was planted all up to my ears. I was happy.
I came up to the station, met with all the boys. I remember him walking towards me, his hands on my chins and his lips on mine. All the boys were yelling and jumping around. We took the train, bought alcohol, and took the bus further to his house. Three couples were we, just sitting, kissing. Not really a party. I sat on his lab the whole evening, kissing, hugging, talking, drinking.
I remember we went outside, with one of the couples. The other, my best friend and his girlfriend, stayed inside. We sat outside, for a while, talking. It was raining, so we sat in a playhouse. He kept me close into him, so I wouldn’t freeze. When we went inside again, the other couple were fucking or something. Quite funny.
My best friend and I, was the only one who should sleep at his house. The beds were still apart, and standing along the wall.
My best friend fell asleep quite fast. We sat up all night, talking. I sat in my shorts and one of his t-shirts, on his lab. No bra. We talked about everything between sky and earth. My boobs also, actually a lot. Because that was what his mom heard, through the loft. He was so honest. So interesting.
When we finally chose to go to bed, I laid myself between his arms. I turned, laid my head on his shoulder, looked him in the eyes. I took my hand, under his t-shirt, draw a pattern from his chest, down the stripe of hair on his belly, and to his side. Holding on to him. I felt his heart beating, I heard his breath, felt his warmth. At that point, that second, I felt a relief, a relief of all the bad things, that had been going on the past year of my life, I felt happy, I had no concerns.
The whole night, he was holding on to me, even when we were both sweating, he never let go.
I felt loved, without knowing if it was just my imagination.
About a week later, I was with him alone, at his place. He had pushed his two beds together to a twin bed. We were laying on the bed, skyping with the boys (without cam). We laughed and made a lot of fun, of each other, and suddenly we kissed, deeply. I was laying on my back, next to him. While kissing, I took my hand, draw a line from behind his ear, down his neck, his chest and down to his waist. It was tickling on him. I enjoyed it. Felt a bit of power.
His hand found his way to the edge of my shorts. The boys were still on Skype, and began calling his name, to annoy him, most because we had been quiet for a while. He’s hand slept into my shorts and down. I remember him yelling “Take those shorts off, they are giving me cramps in my hand.” I burst out in a laugh, and so did the boys on the phone. He cancelled the call, and a lot of thing happened.
We had sex. But for the first time, I felt something special. It wasn’t just sex, we didn’t just have sex. We made love. He loved me, like no one had ever done before. None of my exes had made me feel, the way he made me feel, the way he still makes me feel.
I’m a lucky girl. I think I have found what I have been looking for, I have found what I need. Him. The Alfa