My journal

Okay, så det her er min "Dagbog" Det er taget fra min rigtige "dagbog", og der vil komme et par kapitler engang imellem, sådan at de følger hinanden og er i kronologisk rækkefølge efter hvornår de er skrevet. Det er en mulighed for at følge med i hvordan jeg tænker. OBS Den er på engelsk :)

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2. 9-6-2016

My future?

 

I really don't know
I want to get away, far away, but I know it's only just a dream.

 

Why don't I just pull myself back together? 

 

Why am I waiting for someone else to do it? 
Soon a chapter will end, and I've got to prepare for a new one, a chance to start over.

 

I'm scared.

I'm scared of everything that awaits me, I'm scared that I'm not good enough for life. 

 

I don't even know anymore. 

Suicide? 

No, even though the pain just seems to get worse, I need to be strong, I need to be strong for myself. I've thought about it one to many times, and I hate it, I can't just make the thoughts go away, they will always be there. 

 

They'll be under the surface, waiting to become real. Can't tell it, not when everyone thinks it's selfish, they don't understand the pain. If they do they will compare to themselves, that's not what I want, I just want to talk to someone about it, but they wouldn't know, on the surface I'm happy, only having teenage issues, but it isn't. 

 

It's more, I feel it.

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