Anxiety - 5. Maj 2016
It can not be seen. Therefore it is not real.
But that does not explain, pain that I feel.
Is it a figment of my imagination?
A pain of my own creation?
A silent, pathetic cry for attention.
It is beyond my comprehension.
How something invisible, can hurt this much.
Make me cry from a non-existing touch.
A feeling of loneliness and hurt.
Beyond the clarification of any word
I tried to tell them of the pain that I feel.
But I couldn’t. I’m not even sure that it’s real.
I can’t recall the time, I didn’t feel like this
Pain is worn, just clothing is.
If you cannot see it, it does not exist.
But I feel it every day, it persist.
I feel crazy. Like i’m loosing my mind.
When it comes I feel small and confined.
Trapped in the dark. Crying all alone.
I don’t want them to see me cry. I’m on my own.
I can’t let them see. So I learned how to smile.
Put up a facade, as I suffer meanwhile
But It burns through my veins, like running fire.
Like beautiful voices turned wretched in a choir.
It screams and I’m the only one that can hear.
The screams of pain, I want them to disappear.
Every time it feels like they will continue forever
They burn me every where. Whenever. Wherever.
And there’s no stopping it. It boils my blood.
Crashes it’s way through me. A destroying flood.
That kills and tears everything on it’s path.
Letting nothing stop it, in it’s wrath.
And I can’t breathe, it strangles me.
I try to lock it away, but I can never flee.
And in the moment, I feel so alone.
Cloaked in fright, helplessness and dread.
Sometimes it’s so bad, I wish I was dead.
But I never die, it always comes to an end.
And it always returns like hurt I can’t mend.
Sometimes I contemplate ending it all.
Stop holding on when it comes. And just fall.
But I don’t, although there’s no destination
Although there is no explanation.