Do you mean it 2

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I’m fifteen and I always feel so nervous. Tell me why is it that everyone is so fucking perfect. While I feel so worthless, and they look so happy. While lately for me, my mood has been so crappy.

 I have seeing all the girls with perfect bodies, and such amazing skin. Oh how I would kill to live the life that they are in. I’ve been trying to lose weight over the past couple years. But that isn’t enough I still need to do much more. To get the people to notice me. Most of the times I am left here, just thinking to myself. Oh god is this worth it? Or do I need some help?

Nobody knows what it’s like to cut, until they experience it. Cutting is not something that just goes away! It leaves scars. First It starts off small, but over time it gets worse and you become more distant from others. You just think that everything is your fault, so you cut more and more. You feel like you have to cut, like you can’t stop. You hiding so much pain inside that you can’t control it. Every time I feel alone, empty, heartbroken, hurt, angry, misunderstood and depressed i will hurt myself but I don’t want to. I need to, just to feel in control. Just to tell how you feel, like really feel deep inside. I feel like no one care about me anymore. Like I’m a mistake in this world and I’m scared, scared of what I can do to myself. All the scars on my body they’re nothing compared to the pain I feel inside. Wish I didn’t make that first cut because now i realize that I have a problem… Sometimes I feel like I’m falling and it’s impossible to get back up again. Sometimes I just feel hopeless.

 

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