Harry has been your boyfriend for about 8 months already. He went to see his family for the weekend so you're spending it mostly with Zayn. Of course the other boys will be with you too, but not as much as Zayn. He's your best friend out of them besides Harry. You love both of them very much, in a different ways though, Zayn as a best friend and Harry as your boyfriend. You don't really know why Zayn is your best friend. Maybe because he's a great listener and you tell him a lot of things and that's why you became so close. He really understands you and helps you too. When you're having hard time with Harry Zayn's the one who helps you and lets you cry on his shoulder. Then there's your boyfriend, lovely, lovely Harry. He's the most amazing person you've ever met. He's funny and just knows how to make you smile. You can tell him everything too, I mean just EVERYTHING. Harry stays up for all night if you have to talk about something that's bothering you, or if there's something wrong. They both really care about you and the love between you and Harry is something unreal. It grows day by day and you don't know what would you do without him. Then comes the dramatic but... There's one thing you can't tell them, even to Harry. They wouldn't understand. You know you need to tell at least to Harry but you just can't. You think he would hate you. It's about you and your mind.. You've been a bit depressed lately but you don't know why. The depression just grows inside you, it doesn't go away. Sometimes when you sit on Harry's lap you feel like you want to scream and cry but you just swallow your tears because you don't want him to know. He would get too worried.. You think about what you did yesterday, these cut marks on your left wrist.. It's saturday today and you're going to Zayn's. You're wearing a hoodie to cover your arms and wrists so Zayn won't see what you've done to yourself. You just walk inside and shout Hello. You see him sitting on the sofa and you go sitting next to him. "What are we going to do today Zayn?" You ask. You notice he has been sitting there for a while because he looks like he's deeply in his thoughts. You wait for the answer. "I think we could watch some old pics, then eat maybe some pizza and watch a movie and just talk" He says after a little time and smiles at you. "Sounds veeery good! I love watching old pictures of us" You laugh and he hugs you. "I waited for that sweet laugh Y/N. By the way, Harry texted me today something like this: 'Behave well when you're around Y/N, I will kill you if you do something to her, much love bro xx H (:'" Zayn tells and starts laughing. "You know Harry" You say smiling and blushing a little.
After talking about Harry being so protective over you you start to look for some photo albums. Zayn brings you a chair so you can reach them. You roll your sleeves back without remembering the cut marks on your wrist and start to reach for the oldest one of the albums (which is quite far away). Of course he sees your cut marks but doesn't say anything. After 5 minutes you remember the marks. "Shit!" You shout and roll your sleeves back down. Zayn looks at you with a strange look. You think he didn't see them because he didn't ask anything. After what happened Zayn doesn't speak that much and again you can tell that he's thinking deeply something. You've watched every single pic Zayn has and you've been eating pizza at the same time too so now is time to watch a movie but obviously Zayn doesn't think so. "Y/N... Could you please follow me" He says and starts walking towards his bedroom. Zayn sits down and you sit next to him. "Is something wrong Zayn?" You ask but he ignores you. "Do you want to talk about something" He says "Like about anything." "Noo, not really" You say and realize that he saw your wrist earlier. Zayn looks hurt and takes your hand. You close your eyes as he rolls your sleeves up and watches your left wrist. "Are you sure Y/N..." He says and tries to look you in the eyes. You quickly look at him but then you just break down crying. Zayn holds you and you tell everything to him. "Does Harry know about your depression?" He asks worried. You just shake your head. You feel so bad, but it's good to know that Zayn didn't get mad but Harry's a different thing. "I hope you realize that you have to tell him" Zayn says. You can't believe your ears. "Zayn please don't tell him, I beg you! He will hate me!" You start to cry again. "He won't.." He says and comforts you. "I don't know can I promise not to tell because he's my best friend too" He continues and but you just stare at one corner. You spend the night with Zayn because he doesn't want you to be alone right now. About at 12pm you go home. "Hi babe, I will be home at 6 I think. We have to meet our management today with boys so I come after that, love you xx H" Harry texts. He will see Zayn..
The clock is 20 minutes past 6pm. You're sitting on your and Harry's bed as you hear the door opening. Harry is home. "Y/N...?" He shouts quietly, sounding upset. Zayn must have told him. You decide to ignore Harry and just sit there. Harry comes to your room. You have still the same hoodie on that you had yesterday. He walks towards you and you can tell he's not in a good mood. "How are you babe?" He asks. "Umm... I'm ok, a bit tired.." You answer with your eyes on the floor. "How about you Haz?" "Well what you think?" He says speaking a little louder. You just stare at him for a while and then look down again. "Show me" He says with a cold vibe in his voice. You look at him with teary eyes, begging him to stop whatever he's doing in his mind. "SHOW ME!" He shouts and you jump a little and start crying. "I knew you would be mad! You just make me suffer even more!" You shout and tears are flowing down your face like two rivers. Harry starts ripping your sleeves up your arms so he can see by himself. "Harry! Stop! You're hurting me!" You cry but he just continues. You stop fighting against him because you know he's stronger than you, you would just get hurt. Harry manages to get your sleeves up. He sees the deep cut marks on your left wrist. The only thing you can do is cry while he's looking at your wrist. "So it was true.." He whispers but then gets angry again "Why didin't you tell me Y/N!?" You can't say anything. You are scared and you don't want to fight with your boyfriend who you love, no matter what happens. "How can I even trust you again!? How can I be with you anymore if I can't trust you!? What else you haven't told me? You and Zayn have been cheating on me?" Harry shouts. He is totally furious. "WHAT!?" You shout back at him after hearing what he said about you and Zayn. "Harry you gotta be kidding me! Do you really think I would..?!" "How can I know you aren't lying?!" He shouts. "I wouldn't ever, do you hear me? EVER cheat on the one I love with every part of my heart!" You shout back. How can he even think like that? Harry stays quiet for a while, maybe he's trying to control his anger. "HARRY STYLES COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHY YOU ARE ACTING LIKE THIS?!?!?!?" You ask shouting "I haven't done anything wrong to you!" "That's a lie and you know that! Why did I hear about your depression from Zayn and not you!? Are you telling everything to him before me?" He asks but he's still half shouting. While Harry's trying to calm himself down something happens in your head; all because of he mentioned Zayn. "HONESTLY HARRY! IS THIS ALL ABOUT ZAYN?!?!? YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO JEALOUS!" You shout louder than ever "And I didn't even want to tell him! I DIDN'T WANT TO! He just saw those cuts and then I had to explain!" And here you both go again, Harry gets angrier. You both are considering to leave the house, but none of you really does it. You've been fighting for an hour already. You are crying and he's close to tears too. "That's it, I'm done with all this, I'm done with YOU and your stupid little depression. Just go and kill yourself then if you want. I'm leaving now" Harry says suddenly and stars to walk away. "Ok Harry, just go and find a girl to fuck, I'M SO DONE WITH YOU TOO, I HATE YOU!" You shout after him and break down crying. The words 'Go and kill yourself' went straight to your head. Right now you really want to do like he said, you feel so bad but angry at the same time. How can he come home and just start fighting? How can he even say that go and kill yourself'...?
As days go by you are still mad at Harry. Every single one out of One Direction has been trying to call and text you but you're ignoring all of them, especially Harry. One day Niall comes behind your door and you open it because you don't know that Niall is there. "Y/N, I'm glad you're alright!" He says and hugs you tight. You two sit down on your sofa and that's when Niall realizes you've been only crying for all these days. "Harry came to us that night.." He starts "And his eyes were so red and swollen. He looked horrible.." You just look at him and start to cry again. Niall holds you in his arms and continues: "Harry told us everything" "Did he tell he told me to go and kill myself?" You ask and look at the ground. "Yes, he did. Liam and Zayn got angry like hell and I started to cry. Louis was just sitting there.. No-one really understood what happened, especially Harry" Niall tells. You can't say anything. Why in hell did he tell everything? Was he regretting? "Look, Y/N. Harry really is sorry and regrets everything he said and did.. But he was just so worried about you. I know it didn't look like it, but still.. I hope you give him another chance." Niall finishes his little speech, hugs you for the last time and leaves. You decide to take a look at the messages Harry has sent to you. "If I could only turn back time... I would do everything in a different way. I sould've been holding you in my arms, telling that 'everything's gonna be alright'. Gosh Y/N! I feel so stupid. I hope we can talk about what will happen next one day but right now I just want to say I'm sorry for being such an ass, I hope you can give me another chance xx With lots of kisses, your Harry" After reading that you change your mind and call him. In 15 minutes Harry is already sitting on your bed, in your house where you both should live in. "So.... Where is our relationship going..?" You whisper and look at your toes but he doesn't answer. You get disappointed and start to think he doesn't really care but then he opens his mouth: "Umm.. You know they say that you realize what you have after you lose it.. That happened to me.." He keeps quiet for a moment and so do you. "Y/N I really don't want to lose you. You're the sun for my sky, you're the birds that fly high, you're all those shadows that passes me by, but you're the only one I wanna kiss goodnight. I was so stupid for starting to fight with you and now it's tearing me apart. Every time I see you I feel like flying. Your hair, eyes, lips, nose, cheeks, ears, body.. Every single part in you. I love my life but then I love you so much more. I just can't life without you." Harry's crying now. You hate to see him like this. He looks at you with teary eyes asking you to forgive him. "Harry I..." You start "I just can't forget what you said.." That's the final point, Harry breaks down, falls on the floor to his knees and just cries. "Oh Harry please don't cry!" You say after a while and fall next to him. You lock your arms around him and just comfort him. "Y/N Please frogive me... I don't want to be without you.. You're my everything" He whispers. You don't say anything, you just lift his chin up and kiss him, long and passionately. "I forgive you" You whisper back and kiss him again. "Thank you baby, I love you so much" He says quietly and you wipe his tears away. You spend the rest of the day laying in each others arms, not saying anything, just being there and listening to the beautiful silence.