Dear Louis [Oneshot]

"I miss you a lot, and I know nothing will ever be the same. My eyes hurt from crying a lot, but I don't think they will ever stop. I visited your place last night. I had been at Charlotte's, and I made it by your house on my way home. The blinds were down and the lights were off. I somehow hoped for your happy face to show up in the window. But it didn't. What did I even expect? That you would rise from that sweet sleep of yours? You've always loved sleeping. But never without a cup of tea first. I've learned that after 13 years of friendship. I miss you. Nothing will ever be the same. Sincerely yours, Annabelle. *Mit bidrag til One Direction-konkurrencen*

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1. ✟

Dear Louis,

When people ask me how I am, I put on a fake smile and tell them, that I'm doing okay. Under the circumstances. The truth is that I'm miserable. I miss you a lot, and I know nothing will ever be the same. My eyes hurt from crying a lot, but I don't think they will ever stop. I've been crying myself to sleep every night since that night. My brother heard me crying last night, and he asked me if I was okay. I said I wasn't. 

He misses you. Troye. He asked for you about three weeks after the funeral. He wasn't there, because mum didn't want him to see us all crying. When we got home he greeted us at the door. Nana was there to take care of him. He hugged me tight and told me, that he knew I was sad. Him knowing, made me even sadder and yet more tears ran down my cheeks. 

I visited your place last night. I had been at Charlotte's, and I made it by your house on my way home. The blinds were down and the lights were off. I somehow hoped for your happy face to show up in the window. But it didn't. What did I even expect? That you would rise from that sweet sleep of yours?

You've always loved sleeping. But never without a cup of tea first. I've learned that after 15 years of friendship. I miss our late night video gaming with popcorn, cola and endless conversations about who won the last game. I haven't been playing since last time you were here. Just before my birthday. The console has been standing and collecting dust since that time. Maybe I'll find some of the popcorn you threw at my face behind my sofa, when I clean my room. My mom ask me to do it every day, but I just can't make myself do it. Too many memories. 

Troye asked me a couple of days ago, if we could go to the cemetery. My mom said no, but I'm planning taking him there this weekend. They say on the news that it'll be sunny. Just your kind of weather. Maybe I'll have Charlotte come too. Even though she disliked you, she misses you. She showed up at the funeral too, and she even clinked glasses with us. She's good, you know. She has been sleeping at my place for quite a long time now. We were at her house last night to get away from my parents. They call me and Char inseparable. Just like they called us. That kind of freaked me out, so we ran off. She understands me. 

It won't ever be the same. The chair in our classroom is empty and we all miss your funny, impulsive comments on Abraham Lincoln's beard or our correction of the teachers. Especially at Mr. Jackson's poetry reading this morning. It was like I could almost hear your imitation of his lisping, but there was quiet in the seat by my side. He mentioned your name, when he was done reading. Said it was 'in honor of Louis Tomlinson', and I now wish I had listened to his reading. 

I remember when I first met you in kindergarden. My mother says I can't remember all the important things in my life, but meeting you stands clear in my memory. We were playing the sandbox, when one of the other boys came by and stole my shovel. You took revenge and pulled his hair until it almost came off. I will always remember the look on his face and your big smile was not to be mistaken. You were proud of what you've done, and we instantly became friends. Ever since that day nothing came between us, and of course we had our ups and downs, we stayed together. 

You are my best friend. You were my best friend... I love you more than anything, and it hurts me to know, that you won't be coming back. I've talked with Charlotte about it, and even though I've talked to a lot more people, it still hurts me. My life feels empty without you, and if I could ever do something over, it would be our last day together. Somehow I made myself believe, that if you were at my house the night before, you wouldn't be gone now. But what is done is done, and I can't change the past.

I will always love you and I miss you. Nothing will ever be the same without you. 

Sincerely, Sarah. 

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