The Locket Of Hair

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  • Publiceret: 25 aug. 2013
  • Opdateret: 25 aug. 2013
  • Status: Igang


19. TLOH 78

*Sam’s point of view*

Watching him go was one of the hardest things ever. But I had to do it too many times for comfort. Unfortunately you had no choice but to get used to it. Ryan held me on one side and Pattie on the other as we watched a best friend, a fiancé, a son drive away and go live out his dream in California. It was just a little much for an afternoon. I headed inside to wash my face and calm down the nerves rocking my body from the tip of my scalp to the balls of my feet. Ryan followed sitting on the counter that held the sink and watching. I rung out the towel and dropped it in the sink turning to look at him.


He bit his lip. “Do you act this way every time he leaves?”

I nodded softly looking. “I can’t really help it. Anxiety issues.” I looked up with a smirk. “Remember I’m crazy.”

He started picking at his jean breaking away his deep green eyes from mine.

“You love him.”

I giggled. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

He mumbled something.


“Nothing.” He whispered.

I dried my hand and moved to him giving his shoulder a friendly punch.

“You think I don’t know you, you think you’re so mysterious but you’re not. I know you Ryan. Now Justin’s gone so just tell me what’s up.”

He looked at me with confusion in his eyes and shook his head.

“I can’t.”

“You won’t.” I argued.

He looked down as my phone went off and I sighed picking it up.

From Justin: Hey I’m getting on the plane so I have to turn this off but . . . go to our hill. I left you something. And please don’t take Ryan even he doesn’t know about it.

To Justin: Okay baby. I love you <3

I looked down as he texted an I love you too back.

“Well if you’re just gonna sit there and ignore your problems I’m not gonna sit around and watch.” I muttered.

He tried to grab my hand but I yanked it away.

“Just tell me.” I pleaded once more.

He took a deep breath. “Sam I really can’t.”

I shook my head fed up and left the room and Ryan behind. Getting in the car Justin left me I pulled out of the driveway and droved quietly to the hill. It took a lot less time driving then the walk up there. But as soon as it came into view a wave of butterflies rocked my stomach. Like this was our place, a secret hideout that no one knew about but me and him. I got out of the car need a piece of him. There was a piece of paper taped to the tree. I slid my finer under the edge of the tape which released with ease falling into my palm. The paper had been made into a pouch and it contained a necklace. Just a simple necklace in the shape of a heart. It opened up and showed one of the many, many pictures of me and him.

Dear Sex Kitten,

If you’re reading this it means I had to go back to California. And I’ve held onto this necklace for a while wondering when to give it to you but this just seemed like the perfect time. My only regret is not being there to put it on your flawless neck. It’s not very expensive so you can’t complain once so ever. Look I could feel this page with all kinds of soppy words to explain my feelings but I don’t want to do all that. I just want you to relax, take your mom, any my mom, maybe even my grandma to a spa or something. Enjoy the time that you have with them and don’t spend it regretting not coming with me. Remember that me and you have forever together. Miss me just like I’ll miss you but don’t sulk the whole time away okay? I love you and I promise to call as soon as I can. Stay Strong. Relax. Believe. I love you. <3 –Your Canadian Dream

I smiled at the paper biting my lip and sliding the necklace securely around my neck. The idea of going back and facing Ryan just seemed intolerable so I sat down on the ground under the tree and watched the sky ahead of me. Justin was gone but I was confident I’d be okay. The spa thing sounded like a good idea too. It’s hard for me to relax because I strive under pressure. That’s when I’m at my best. The wind turned soft into a gentle breeze as I wrapped my arms around my legs. Being alone was good. I felt . . . relieved maybe like for once I could actually be alone.

*Justin’s point of view*

“Fredo what’s the schedule look like?” I asked.

They brought my Fiska Karma thankfully. Fredo and I were driving to rehearsals with Scooter. I missed Scoot Scooter. He’s got all these new acts—which I was happy for him don’t get me wrong—and suddenly we didn’t get to see each other as often. We used to practically live together when it was just me, him, and mom. I mean sure he had to go sometimes but nowhere near now. But I didn’t need him as much now. At least I wasn’t supposed to. It was just . . . weird.

“Uh rehearsals until seven with a break in-between.” It was only about three. “Scooter wants to talk to you but that’s not really a part of the schedule.”

“Just going hard huh?” I smirked.

“Yep.” He popped the p.

I sped down the road toward rehearsals as we listened to the finished album. Everything flowed effortlessly. This album . . . it was it. It was perfect. I smiled at every song, every beat, every word. If that was the album they used to determine me as an artist I would be happy, satisfied. That’s how good it is. Believe, the title track that one was important. They all were, I mean it was an emotional album but that song was for the fans. They couldn’t possibly know how I felt about them. Because I’m sure every day they have people telling them I don’t know they exist, or all I care about is the money they’re stuffing in my pockets. But that just wasn’t true. I hoped that the song got the message through. That I loved them so much it hurt. Haters just need to try to break us down. And it’s only because we’re so unstoppable that they feel the need to try.

I pulled the car into the lot and park. Valet parking didn’t work for me because I’m so OCD about my cars that I don’t like random people in them. So we got out and headed inside where all my back up dancers were getting ready. We had new chorography and the music had been altered too. No mistakes this time. I wanted it to be perfect. Everyone was stretching and I just dropped down with them and did the same thing.

“You guys ready?” I smirked.

My “lead girl” I guess was a blonde named Rita. We did the partner thing and pressed our feet together pulling on one another’s hands to stretch some shit I didn’t know existed.

“Just wondering!” I asked stopping. “Is this designed to completely break my nuts?”

Everyone busted out laughing while I keeled over in pain and we got ready to go.

“Let’s start with the new moves. We’ll get that down then tie it all together.” I directed.

They started the music and everyone got into their places in front of the mirror. The dancers had had one practice without me to learn the moves before we started going over them. And then . . . . we went hard. The dancers were great and had so much energy that we could keep going over and over again. There were silly mistakes and something we just couldn’t get a hang of. I was having trouble with the breakdown of the dance. After an hour and a half of non-stop practicing we finally took a break. They grabbed lunch and Fredo and I ate on the floor with them. You could tell they weren’t used to that. As if the lead artist never fraternized with the likes of them. Yet at eighteen with everything around me I still wasn’t a pompous dick.

“Scooter!” I screeched munching on another horrible salad Sam was making me eat.

He walked over and took a place next to me on the floor.

“What’s up?” He asked.

I shrugged. “Fredo said you had something to say to me.”

Scooter shook his head. “A private conversation.”

I raised an eyebrow. “What’d I do now?”

“Just later Justin.”

“Alright damn.” I muttered.

So I went back to rehearsals till seven. Still some problems which was to be expected but it was a really good time. I said goodbye to the dancers, wiped away the sweat and took a drink. Alfredo went off to do something leaving me and Scooter alone in the big room. He was quiet at first weird for Scooter. I sat down on the floor and wait for him to sigh and join me.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“How was Canada?” He ignored the question.

I shrugged. “It was good. We don’t need to have a private conversation for me to tell you that though.”

“What’d you do?” He pushed it further.

A sigh blew through my lips. “Relaxed. I hung out with my friends, they threw me a surprise party. What does it have to do with anything?”

“I called you Friday night. Messed up the time sit must have been two, three in the morning.”

Still confused. “And?”

“And you and Sam answered . . . drunk as all can be.”

Damn. Sam could’ve filled me in on that one.

“H—how did you know we were drunk?” I mumbled.

“Well considering the fact that you don’t even remember the fucking conversation and you two sounded like bumbling idiots it was either that or you were high.” He snapped.

I let my head hang low. “It was a party . . . we were just having fun.”

“No you were being stupid. How many times do you have to make the same mistake until you get it Justin!”

“I—I’m sorry.” I mumbled.

“Sorry doesn’t cut it dammit!” he screeched.

I bit my lip shaking my head and looking up.

“Do you have to yell? I’m eighteen fucking years old. I don’t need you to keep treating me like some kid.” I exploded.

“Are you sure? Cause you acted a hell of a lot more mature when you were fifteen!”

“What was I supposed to do? Sit around while everyone else was being normal teenagers? I’m sick of that! Nothing happened I just had fun with my friends.”

He took a deep breath. “You don’t have to drink to be a normal teenager Justin. You know that, I taught you that.”

“I know.” I muttered. “I just wanted to alright?”

He shook his head. “You know I hold you to—“

“Extraordinary standards because you want me to live an extraordinary life give it a fucking rest Scooter.”

He gave me the death stare as I got off the ground grabbing my stuff.

“I give up so much to be in this position. And no matter what I do I’m always wrong to you. When’s the last time you congratulated me on something?” I didn’t wait for an answer. “I don’t even know why I try so hard to be perfect for you. You’re not even my dad.”

I saw the hurt hit his face but was too far in to care. I grabbed my bag and headed for the door calling back to him.

“Don’t even bother coming to rehearsals tomorrow I’m sure I’ll just disappoint you anyway. There’s probably some other amazing artist you signed who doesn’t fuck up your life that you didn’t watch grow up. I’m sure that’s much better than Justin the fuck up.”

Leaving him behind I walked out to the car not giving Alfredo an answer when he asked what was wrong. I felt like being alone in that moment but leaving him at the dance studio would’ve been a dick move so we both piled into the car as I started driving. Since the big eighteen Scooter and I had been bumping heads a lot lately. We made up eventually but the point was that guys know how to get under each other’s skin. It’s not like with girls where we hurt each other’s feelings but ultimately that’s pretty much what it is. The entire time I was in the car I just kept wondering why the shit I did was never good enough for him. Why every time I made a mistake he had to act like the entire world was ending. Like I get it I’m paying your bills but you have other artist’s you can treat me like a human being for twelve seconds. I just wanted his approval and he never gave it to me. 

But I didn’t say any of that out loud instead I listened to Alfredo’s problems.

He sighed. “I wanted to go visit Demi before she starts this Xfactor stuff but Scooter won’t give me the day off. I had everything planned too.”

I shook my head. “No bro take the day off.”

“Yea cause I can do that.” He said sarcastically.

“Well actually you can. Don’t you technically work for me anyway?” 

“Hmm . . . I guess so. You really don’t mind?” He asked.

“Nah we’re just rehearsing you don’t have to be there.” I smiled.

Sure my intentions for giving him the day off were wrong but the look on Scooter’s face the next day would be so worth it. I dropped him off at his hotel and stopped the car. Going home seemed like such a bad idea. Sleeping in bed would be in possible without Sam. All I could every think about was the fact that I couldn’t hold her body, touch her skin, and breathe in her scent. It sucked; it really, really sucked. I sighed and grabbed my bag out the car heading into the hotel and getting a room. Settling it was stupid so I just took a shower trying to get the sweat off and calm my frustration. The water was hot burning my skin but not enough to feel pain and just running through my hair. I just stood there under the water too exhausted to move.

When the water ran out I grabbed a towel and jumped into bed to dry off. For the first time since I’d stepped off the plane I got a chance to lie down and not move. When sleeping or just sitting there could’ve been on my mind none of them were even close. In fact there was only one thing on my mind and it was burning in the pit of my skull. Samantha. I bit my lip listening to the ring and waiting and waiting until it finally clicked.

“Hey bitch I need to tell you something important . . . I’m not at the phone but leave a message I guess I’ll call back eventually.”

I sighed at the voicemail not getting in often. “Uhm b—baby? It’s Justin, I didn’t know you’d be asleep just call me whenever you get a chance. I miss you. I love you. Bye I guess.”

I set the phone down and sighed looked around the room in boredom. It was even a minute before my phone started ringing again.

“Baby?! I’m so sorry I missed your call I wasn’t paying any attention.” She gasped.

I smiled just at the sound of her voice. “It’s fine. I just missed you so much.”

“What happened?” She guessed.

I sighed; why did she know me so well? “Scooter called us Friday when we were drunk. Long story short he knows he blamed me and yelled and gave me the hold extraordinary expectations bit. I blew up and I’m so fucking tired of him. I . . . don’t need you to tell me I’m wrong or something I don’t even want to talk about it. I just want to hear your voice for a little while.”

“O—okay baby we don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to. But uhm I put some Tylenol in your bag. I don’t know if you have it with you but I want you to take some as soon as you can. You shouldn’t go into rehearsals tomorrow stressed.” She soothed.

I smiled automatically. There she went babying me again. I slid out of bed grabbing my bag and listening to the rattle of pills as the bottle touched my hand.

“Found it.” I said taking the cab off.

“You sound stressed so take three but remember to eat something before bed honey.” She instructed further.

I grabbed a glass of water and took the pills dropping down back down on the bed and smiling.

“All done.”

“Good.” She breathed.

“I wanna know about your day baby. How did things go after I left?” I asked.

She sighed. “Well Ryan is acting really weird still but I’ll crack him eventually. I went to the hill and the necklace is beautiful baby thank you. I’m just trying to relax like you said so we all ordered in take out and I work on being a good daughter/ granddaughter to be. Tomorrow I’m gonna go see my mom but for now I just need to sleep like the lazy bitch I am.”

I chuckled. “I know how hard it is for you to relax baby but just try you know? Do stuff that calms you down, makes you smile.”

“Talking to you calms me down, makes me smile.” She murmured.

“I’ll talk to you all night.” I promised.

“Baby you can’t you have rehearsals tomorrow.” She whimpered.

I rolled over and sighed putting the phone on speaker and rubbing my temples.

“I can’t sleep with all this Scooter shit. I’d rather talk to you anyway.” I said.

“Justin . . . You know you can’t focus on my problems to get away from your own. I’m calling Scooter tomorrow and we’re going to get this all worked out.”

“Oh Sam please don’t! I don’t want you getting into my stuff with him just let it go. Promise me you won’t call him.” I said.

She sighed. “Alright, alright. I was just trying to help.”

“Oh don’t give me that little girl voice baby I appreciate it just . . . Scooter is a tough topic. And you know that.” I told her.

“Yes I know don’t get so worked up let’s just talk about something else.” She murmured.

Talk about something else. Now that I could most certainly do.

*Sam’s point of view*

I let Justin move onto a new topic but kept thinking about him and Scooter. They were the two most stubborn ass men I’ve ever met in my entire life. And what they don’t seem to realize is that they are so much alike and that’s why they bust heads. I didn’t know exactly what had been said and I knew Justin would never actually tell me so that left Scooter. Yea I know I promised him I wouldn’t call Scooter but I wasn’t going to. He said not to call Scooter he didn’t say anything about Skype.

We talked for a long time about random things like we always did. Justin tried to explain why it was good idea to move his dog down to California with us. He kept saying baby he pees in the toilet he’ll be fine. But it’s not like that was the problem, I didn’t mind looking after the dog. The problem was that neither of us had time. Dogs need what like companionship or something? I don’t know I don’t even like dogs. But they sure as hell need something we weren’t in the position to give. The dog should stay put and after a century of debating he finally got that. We talked about alcohol and how it was really fun but how immature it was of us anyway. It was hard to figure out was the hangover worth it. I really just liked the feeling of running around acting stupid and sloppy and no one caring because they were all doing the same thing. I always felt like we never fit in because we were so different. Then I had a really scary idea. What if that’s how all those really talented actors and singers and performers started out before they ended up dead for whatever reason? The need to drink suddenly shrunk to a ridiculous amount.

I was glad to hear his voice, glad we could actually be apart for a little bit. Being in another country it was hard I don’t know how he did it with Selena but every two seconds I had a Justin thought. If I was calm I was wondering if Justin was calm. If I was horny I was wondering if Justin was horny. Was it ridiculous? To me not really. We were engaged. Being engaged is before all the real hell starts and you start making your husband sleep on the couch. I wasn’t looking forward to that because it meant less sex for me but that’s beside the point. I didn’t want to be away from him. This was the time where I shouldn’t have to be away from him. But I was able to relax and to just focus on other things no matter how hard it was for me. 

The crazy part was knowing how far we’d come from the first time he proposed. You think that the engagement is just the beginning which in a way it is but we’d felt so much already. We’d loved hard and hurt each other but helped each other heal. It was hard to believe the wedding was still so far away. Hell it was hard to believe that I wasn’t married to him yet. Everything always seems like it’s just beginning when at the same time you feel like you’ve been at it forever. I loved him though; I loved him so bad and so hard. We knew each other and we connected on this level of something neither of us understood. No matter what I was gonna love and love hard because it was Justin that I was loving and no one could ever take away from me the fact that Justin loved me too.

“Baby?” I sighed trying not to yawn.

“You’re tired.” He said not even needing to asked.

“I’m sorry.” I mumbled.

I could hear him smile. “Don’t worry about it baby you shouldn’t have to go sleep deprived because of me.”

“Play that playlist you have.” I encouraged. “That always helps you sleep.”

He sighed softly. “Okay . . . I—I love you Sammy so, so much.”

I heard the raw passion in his voice causing me to shiver.

“I love you too Justin so much I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“Maybe go to bed before you masturbate or something.” He chuckled.

I rolled my eyes. “Thanks for the romantic moment baby.”

“Alright, alright I’m sorry. Air kiss?” He asked.

“Air kiss.” 

Air kisses were just a kiss to the air kind of into the phone as if the kiss would travel through to the other person. It was cheesy and kind of corny but you know that’s just the kind of couple that we are. I smiled as we exchanged goodnights and I love you’s all over again. As I cut the call off and my wallpaper of us together under all my apps showed that smile widened. He had his arms around me with one hand holding up the phone. We’d made silly faces and I’d giggled at the picture. Just another perfect day with my perfect man. I put my phone up to charge and turned the lights off. My bed was empty besides me but I went to bed with my perfect man’s voice playing in the back of my head as he whispered I love you. I loved him too.

* * *

I woke up the next morning with a sweet text from Justin to get my heart thumping away:

Justin: Hey Sex Kitten I just wanted to let you know that your advice worked and I did get some sleep I’m going in with that Nick Demoura guy I told you about? The choreographer? He’s gonna help your baby swag it out(;

I love you and oh I sent your parents a gift to apologize for my not being there tell if they like it okay? I hope you have a good day today and I told my mom to let you sleep in so hopefully your well rested. Hmmm what else can I say?

I’m glad you love your necklace and I love you so so so so so so much but this is my third text message and I’m three hours behind you so I’m gonna go eat breakfast lmao. Jerry misses you. Bye baby! <3

I giggled at all the little text messages and delayed my shower to write him back:

Hey boo. Just woke up but thank you for the sweet morning messages :D Believe it or not I refrained from masturbating last night although I’m sure you’ve got a bottle of lotion on the bed side table next to tissues.

Just kidding but I totally miss your lips. I don’t know what it is but you lick them and I just want to suck on them. You know they might be why our sex life is so . . . full of life. Ugh I’m hilarious.

Anyway I need a shower and I’m gonna go to lunch but text me later baby? I love you. I love your body and those lips. And . . . my vagina misses you <3 #swaggy

I smiled get out of bed and sliding my bra and shit off before stepping into the shower and remembering Justin holding me under the water. I sighed and stood under the stream washing my hair and letting the hot water soak my skin. The entire day was ahead of me and I couldn’t wait to get started.

*Justin’s point of view*

“I was thinking I want to try that thing we exed out of the plans because we couldn’t get it down. I’m feeling better today let’s do it.” I nodded.

Rehearsals again and that night with Sam left me ready to make her proud. I knew in the end she would be happy with anything I did whether I fell flat out on the floor and forgot every word or did a fucking backflip out of nowhere. It’s just the kind of person my baby is. Whether you really do fail or you excel way past succeed doesn’t matter to her she will be standing there applauding her ass off like you found a cure for cancer. That’s why I love her. Among other things . . . many other things. Alfredo was off with his girlfriend where he should be and I was in the dance studio ready to take the heat from Scooter whenever he showed up. Speak of the devil he showed up then walking in with Kenny and Moshe as I kept doing the stupid as stretches Nick showed me.

“Yo Justin where’s Alfredo at?” Kenny called after I watched Scooter whisper to him.

We started to get into our line for the breakdown dance again with the exed out part put back in. I waited till right before the music came on to let him know.

“Oh I gave him the day off.” I said nonchalantly.

The music had just started and we hadn’t even gotten through two moves before Scooter’s voice started cutting through the air.

“Woah, woah cut the music off!” He yelled.

Nick obliged turning it off and Scooter looked like he was about to have a heart attack.

“What did you say?” He asked.

I licked my bottom lip. “I said I gave him the day off.”

Scooter shook his head swallowing ten levels passed pissed off.

“Outside. Now.” 

I smirked saying let’s take five before walking out the big double doors not able to hear them close more than hearing him shove them back open. They closed finally before I turned to stare at him and he looked so mad in any other moment I would’ve been scared shitless.

“What makes you think you can just give someone the day off?” He spoke through his teeth.

I shrugged. “Fredo works for me. He wanted a day with his girl before she goes off to film Xfactor. Don’t worry I was doing any crack or taking shots when I gave him the day off.”

“You went around my back Justin. He knew I said no to giving him the day off.” He argued.

“I didn’t go around your back. He told me the situation I helped him out. That’s what bros do.” I muttered.

He sighed. “Justin this defiance has got to stop. I came here with the intention of making amends and now you’re doing shit you know is going to get under my skin.”

“I’m not defying you Scooter. At least I know it hurt you have no idea the effect of the shit you say.” I complained

“Oh grow up Justin!” He threw his hands up.

I shoved my hands deep in my pockets and turned away from him looking out at nothing.

“I am growing up. What the fuck you do you want from me to Scooter? All you ever say is grow up or don’t be in such a hurry to grow up! I’m trying to be myself and I’m trying to let everything go naturally but I can’t do anything without it being wrong. You yell at me every day until I’m convinced nothing I do is right. If I can’t impress the guy that had faith in me before anyone else how can I impress the rest of the world?” I asked.

He was quite for a minute. I don’t know maybe he was taking it in or trying to find a new way to yell at me.

“Y—you know that’s not how it is.” He sighed.

I turned around burning up with anger.

“How is that not how it is Scooter?! You don’t even like to be around me anymore. You’re always off with the fucking Wanted or Cody or something. I used to be you’re only priority. And I don’t care that you have other people to manage that’s fine I—I love that but . . . we’re not just my manger. At least I thought you weren’t.” 

He sighed scratching the back of his head. “You’re right I’m not just your manager and that’s the point. Justin I need to be able to rely on you.”

“But that’s all you do. I don’t want you to rely on me all the time when I have everyone else in the world relying on me. You’re supposed to be the one person I can rely on and I can’t even do that anymore. You’re just ditching me in this fucked up world and saying deal with it you’re on your own.” I murmured.

“Sit down.” He said pointing to the edge of the sidewalk.

I eyed it for a second before sighing and plopping down. Scooter sat down next to me both of us sitting the exact same with our knees up and our elbows resting on them.

“Justin you’re eighteen years-old. I know it’s a lot to ask of you to just up and become an adult and I’ve tried to ease you into it and apparently it hasn’t worked very well. We both know my most important job is you making you a good man. I let you become a asshole and I’ve failed and we both know failing doesn’t work very well for either of us. Everywhere we look that’s what people are waiting for right? You have to understand the same thing you’re going through right now is something I went through too. I’m not your enemy here I’m your friend. 

“Does it suck to all of sudden have so much more expected from you? Yea but I know for a fact that you’re more than capable of it. Being a man is learning to . . . . to fend for yourself a little bit. To sit down and figure things out for yourself. And once you come to the conclusion that you can’t figure it out is when it’s time to ask for help which can be the hardest for a man to do. I’m not always gonna be there to tell you if something is okay or if the decision you’re making is a good one. All I can do is give you the tools to decide that fact for yourself. I’ve given you all that I can. You’re eighteen now it’s time to take those tools and start making decisions. Start making mistakes; fucking up and realize that that’s going to happen. 

You’re afraid of failure. I know you because you’re so much like me and that’s what I was afraid of when I was in your age. You have to . . . learn to embrace your fear and use it to your advantage. Don’t let the fear of failure keep you from attempting something. Take the fear and roll with it; work harder than everyone else because you don’t want to fail. I promise you I’m not leaving you behind for new artists and I’m not yelling at you every day because I hate you all of sudden. It’s because I see the kind of man you can become and I want that so bad for you. You’re going to do great things; things even bigger than the stuff you’ve done now Justin. And as you do those things and you learn and you grow you will learn that you don’t need me anymore. And you’ll learn that the things I’m doing aren’t to punish you but to push you because I knew you were so much more when everyone was saying no. I want you to be more than we thought you could four years ago. But it doesn’t matter what I want; you have to want it yourself.”

I looked down at the ground listening to his speech and thinking it over in my head. I sighed letting go of the tough look on my face and the anger seeping deep into my bones.

“Dammit Scooter you need to stop making speeches.” I muttered.

He chuckled and punched my arm. “Ah I’m sorry too. I guess I know how to be a prick sometimes.”

“Sometimes.” I scoffed.

“Don’t push it kid. You’ve got a rehearsal to kill. Get your ass to work.” He smirked. 

I sighed as we got off the concrete and headed inside to kill another rehearsal.

*Sam’s point of view*

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair needing a Cymbalta immediately. My stress free day at home had turned into a rotten day in hell in two phone calls. There I was all ready to go in my cute little outfit for a day with my parents. Everyone was out of the house leaving me by myself to get ready and curl my hair with a silver headband with little diamonds in it that some designer had sent me. I had on my jean jacket and a pink floral summer dress that stopped midthigh. Even my shoes low tops with a matching floral pattern. I loved the outfit and I couldn’t wait for my mom to see it. So of course I was standing in the mirror smiling and applying lipgloss—which I hated by my mother loved—when my phone started to ring.

“Mommy! Hey I’m just about to head out.” I said enthusiastically.

“Oh . . .” She mumbled.

“No. No, no, no tell me you’re not canceling!” I cried recognizing that voice.

“Oh Samantha I’m so sorry sweetie. I’ve got to go in and work on this case and they just called into to tell them. If I don’t do it no one will.” She apologized. 

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Okay, okay. I guess we’ll just reschedule.” 

“Thank you baby. Tomorrow I promise alright? And thank Justin for the pearls they’re beautiful!” She gasped.

Pearls? Really Justin? Really?

“I will. Love you”

I got off the phone and took a deep breath grabbing my purse and headed for the car. 

Maybe it would be a better day with just me and Dad for a change. A daddy daughter date. We used to have those all the time before he left. They were the best parts of the week. He always smiled; no matter how miserable he might be at home when we were alone he smiled. I grabbed my phone ready to let him that I was on my way but Mom wasn’t coming when my phone rang again. The car kept driving as I pressed a button on the little touch screen thingy and set my phone again.

“Hello?” I asked.

“Hey sweetie it’s daddy.” He sighed.

“What’s wrong?” I guessed.

“I—I kind of have to go back into the work. My boss called and we had me switch days off.” H explained.

“You too?!” I groaned stopping the car. “Mom called off too.”

“Oh that sucks. I’m sorry honey we’ll do it tomorrow I promise I just really have to go.” He said.

“Alright.” I muttered before noticing the line was already dead. “Love you too.”

Sitting there on the side of the road with nowhere to go I felt lonely, confused. The whole day had been planned to be with my parents and like Justin said relax. Now what the fuck was I supposed to do go buy weed from the twelve year old losers by the dumpsters behind the school? Ugh I could already feel the frustration settling into my veins. Calling my baby wasn’t an option because I absolutely refused to bother him during rehearsals. What to do, what to do? That’s when it hit me. Ryan.

I texted him asking if he was home before pulling back onto the road and heading for the Butler home. When he texted back a yes I slid my phone away not in the mood to die because of a text message that day. My fingers drummed against the steering wheel the whole fifteen minutes it took to drive there. Pulling the car into the driveway Ryan was standing on the porch with crossed arms leaning against one of the pillars though I’d never actually said I was coming by. I smiled when I saw him. Butsy was my bro.

“Hey.” I murmured stepping toward him.

“You look cute.” He commented.

I blushed as the wind whipped through my hair. “Yea I was supposed to hang out with my parents. They blew me off for work. So I thought . . . maybe you were done being mad at me?”

A smirk hit his face. “Sam you’re the one that left.”

“True.” I smiled. “So you gonna show me your bedroom or what?”

“Are you trying to get lucky?” He asked.

I rolled my eyes walking past him. “Bitch please I’m engaged to a celebrity.”

I smiled to myself heading for the door and knowing I had my badass Butsy back.

*Ryan’s point of view*

She came up looking so beautiful my body felt numb. I wanted to just walk into the house and ever leave, just stay there with her forever. We walked into the house she’d practically lived in with me when things were rough and went back and forth elbowing each other in the shoulder. I opened my door and let her in though not a lot of people were allowed in there—aka my parents. Sam came in and just started looking around like she belonged. The first thing she came to was my little picture thing set up on a shelf. Her eyes ran over things like me and Justin, Chaz, Nolan, Christan, my parents, then came me and her. It was a picture of us in that very room. She always liked taking pictures. I remembered trying my hardest not to stare at her when we took it. Everything was just so complicated.

“You really kept this?” She asked staring at it.

I bit my lip. “I would never dream of getting rid of it.”

“I—I remember that’s the day you were supposed to fly out to see Justin. You sat with me for an hour before you left taking pictures because . . .” Her voice trailed off.

“Because I knew you loved them.” I finished for her.

“Yea.” She took a deep breath and looked away from the picture.

I kept my arms behind my back as she kept walking around the room looking at things. The more I stared the more I embarrassed myself so I just plopped down on my bed as she looked. Eventually she saw everything there was to see in the bedroom and came to plop herself down right next to me after pulling off her jacket. Oh how I yearned to just touch her, once. As if she’d been reading my mind Sam took my hand and intertwined our fingers smiling.

“You okay now Ryan?” She asked.

I kept my eyes on her wrist. “Yea.”

“What can I do to make you feel better?” She called my bluff.

Love me the way I love you. Which would only hurt Justin which would kill so in all reality I don’t want you to love me at all. 

“Just . . . stay with me for a little while huh?” I asked.

She sat up a little leaning her head on her hand pulling her hand out of mine to look down at me.

“I wanna you ask you something.” I murmured.

“Ask away.” She breathed.

“Are you happy?” I asked. “With the way things turned out.”

She smiled running her fingers around the blanket on my bed.

“Yea. I got . . . everything I wanted. And at the same time the things I never thought to ask for. Sure sometimes I get down on myself due to my mental shit or whatever but at the end of the day I am happy Ryan. I get you. I get Justin. I get this big wide family full of people that love me. Why wouldn’t I be happy?” 

I faked a smile. “That’s good Sam, real good.”

She shook her head lying back down on the bed and leaning her cute little head on my chest to look me in the eye.

“You’re not happy. That sucks because I really, really want you to be happy.” She muttered.

She knew me so well . . . maybe if I just . . . No I couldn’t.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered.

We stared each other down for a few minutes looking intently and waiting for the other to crack. Her lips were so, so soft looking. So tender and sweet in their glorious state. The urge to kiss them was hot in my veins but the need to resist was even greater. My heart was thumping in my chest. Because for her that moment was just a “brother” and “sister” talking. To me . . . that moment was everything. I leaned in wanting to kiss her so bad. But instead I just kissed her forehead.

“I love you Mcdouchey.” I sighed.

She smiled a little. “I love you too Butsy.”

We laid on our backs looking up at ceiling and staying quiet. I reached down silently taking her hand and felt the resistance. Then all of a sudden she just gave way and let me hold her hand probably knowing somewhere inside that that’s what I needed. At the end of the day she’d always be my bestfriend. I just couldn’t seem to help but be in love with her at the same time. I guess life doesn’t always work out the way you want it to. I was in love with Sam McCartney. My best friend’s fiancé. Hell here I come.

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