The Locket Of Hair

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  • Publiceret: 25 aug. 2013
  • Opdateret: 25 aug. 2013
  • Status: Igang
SAM AND JUSTIN YAY

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12. TLOH 71

*Demi’s point of view*

Everything had happened so quick. I knew something was wrong with but starving herself? It just seem like Sam and it broke my heart. Justin yelling at her made her crumble. She was sitting on her knees bawling as blood dripped from her nose. She left it there like was normal. Alfredo ran to get Justin and I picked Sam off the floor. The entire restaurant had seen the whole thing go down. She was shaking, literally vibrating in my hands the entire walk to the car. She wasn’t healthy, that much was obvious.

“Sam this is important.” I said trying to calm her down so I could ask the questions.

She just kept shaking her head and crying Justin’s name

“When’s the last time you are?” I asked. 

She was gasping looking around for Justin because that’s all that’s on her mind.

“F—four maybe five days.” She said.

All of sudden you just hear Justin screaming from down the street. Sam started moving trying to run to him.

She wasn’t very hard to stop.

“Sweetie no.” I said softly.

She screamed. “I need him! Get off of me!” 

“Sam he doesn’t want to see you right now.” I murmured.

“Fuck you!” She screeched pulling at me trying to get away.

Her attempts got weaker and weaker until she just started moving sluggishly.

“I—I don’t feel so good.” She mumbled.

Then her body just became limp in my hands.

“Oh my god.” I muttered. “Alfredo! Justin! She fainted!”

You could see Fredo across the street trying to calm Justin down. They both stopped and finally looked over at the girl passed out in my arms. If there was ever a question on whether or not he loved her it soon ended.

“Sam? Sam!” He screeched running toward us. “What’s wrong what happened to her!”

“There’s nothing in her system. We need to get her to the hospital. The crying and everything was too much for her heart to handle.”

His lips trembled and he nodded. “Give her to me.”

Justin took her in his arms and headed for the car. Sam just never seemed to catch a break.

*Justin’s point of view*

Her system shut down. They couldn’t really explain it any better than that. She literally had nothing left inside of her. They said that . . . if she went another day without eating her heart could’ve given out. I was madder at myself then I was at her. She was losing weight too fast, I could tell. She never ate unless she had to. She was tired all the time, never stopped working. She was living off coffee, cigarettes, and gum. My beautiful curvy, flawless baby had an anorexic episode right in front of my eyes and I’d never even done anything about it. It made me feel like a such a horrible feeling.

They had her on an IV all over again. They also wanted to feed her through a tube. But Sam was eighteen and I knew she’d never agree to it. So we had to wait for her to wake up and hopefully not refuse her food. I sat in a chair next to her bed holding her frail fingers in my hands not having a choice but to silently cry. Everyone had driven over from the restaurant and were just sitting in awkward silence.

“You guys can leave. There’s no point in staying.” I muttered swallowing the lump in my throat.

“We’re not going anywhere.” Scooter said softly.

I dropped my face into the crook of my arm leaning on her bed as the cried became uncontrollable. Sam just made me turn into a little boy. My mom came up behind me laying a hand on my shoulder and kissing my hair.

“I’ll go back to the house and throw a back together for her okay?” she whispered.

I nodded still hiding my face.

Scooter’s voice came out once my mom left asking everyone to give us a minute. He sat across from me on Sam’s other side as we listened to the rest of the people leaving the room. I stayed silent wiping away the tears and looking up at Sam’s face.

“Justin look at me.” He murmured.

My voice came out dead, cold. “You see I would but I can’t take my eyes off her without worrying she’s going to die.”

He sighed. “Alright let’s just talk.”

“About what? What’s left to talk about?” I asked.

“Justin it’s not your fault.” He said.

“You’re wrong.” I Whispered. “I saw all the signs. I watched her looking pounds by the day. At first she just looked more toned. So I complimented her . . . thought that’s what she needed to hear was support. Now she’s having nose bleeds and passing out. I don’t know what to do. I encouraged this. It’s me . . . all over again.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat all over again as he started to talk.

“It’s never been you. She’s hurting and it’s not your fault. What happened at the restaurant . . . it shouldn’t have happened like that. Maybe you went a little overboard but it’s only because you care, because you love her right? I’m betting that as soon as she waked up she’ll start crying. Nothing hurts her more then you hurting. You know that.” 

I looked over as he spoke. It was the first time she looked peaceful in her sleep in I don’t know when. She was so stuffed with meds we didn’t know when she’d wake up. She was just breaking my heart.

“Why? Don’t I give her everything why is she doing this to herself?” I asked.

“I don’t know kid. She’s sick okay? We can only support her and hope she gets better. The good this is Dr. Simon kept track of her weight loss and called you when he did. She won’t give up Justin we all know that.”

I squeezed her hand and bit my lip. 

He started to talk again. “I’m gonna shit some things around call off rehearsals . . .”

“No.” I interrupted.

“Justin you’re not going to get any sleep here. The rehearsal will be pointless.” 

“I’m not staying.” I said softly.

“What?”

I kept my eyes on her face. “I’ve been here too many times. If I stay here it’s just gonna tear me apart. I’ll have my mom stay or something.”

“O—okay. I guess I’ll see you at rehearsals.” Scooter said softly.

“Yea okay.”

He got up walking around the bed and laying a hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t beat yourself up Justin.”

I didn’t say a word as he sighed and headed for the door. I waited till the door closed to look up at her again. Already she looked better. There was that natural rosy look in her cheeks that had lacked before. But she was still ungodly thin. I stood up wiping away more tears and picking up her hand. They’d taken off everything she had on to change her limp body into a gown. There was a tan line around her ring finger that bothered me. I slid her ring back on and let out this depressed moan of sadness. Leaning down to press my lips to hers I sighed and touched her cheek.

“I love you baby so much.”

I could’ve sworn she called my name but I kept moving out the door and down the hallway though it seemed like my gravitational pull wanted me in that hospital room.

*Sam’s point of view*

When I woke up I just remember the scream. It was piercing and it hurt my ears yet I’d clawed at my face like I was trying to rip flesh from the bone. My heart was just it was battered and it was damaged and it hurt to breathe. I just I kept hearing the words over and over and over again in difference variations. The wedding is off . . . I don’t want you . . . You’re too damaged . . . It won’t work . . . . I’d been dreaming for what felt like a decade of my entire world being thrown on the floor in front of a restaurant of people. The way he talked to me . . . I don’t know if built me up or tore me down. But maybe it did both. I was crying when my nurse came in because he’d been there ride next to me. His chair was still by my bed the way it always was. But who I wanted was there and that broke me. I love Pattie but Justin was the only thing on my mind. I needed Justin and for once he really had had enough of me and my constant need of attention. I felt sick.

“Sweetie you have to calm down they’ll want me to sedate you.” She said smoothing my hair.

I put my hand over my mouth trying to calm the scream and just let the tears leak looking at Pattie.

“W—where is he?” I asked my voice this desperate sob.

“He went home honey he needed to get away from here.” She said softly.

I got it; he needed to get away from me. They both watched me start to break down and all of a sudden being awake didn’t seem like such an accomplishment.

“I—I wanna go to sleep. Can you make me go to sleep?” I begged.

She sighed and shook her head. “We have to get you healthy again. You need food Samantha.”

Food. Something I’d been avoiding for weeks. Food. A friend that had betrayed and turned evil. Food. The one thing that scared me even close to the way losing Justin did. 

I shook my head tears coming. “I can’t eat without him.”

Pattie just made eye contact with the nurse and she nodded telling us she was going to go talk to the doctor. Pattie kissed my forehead and asked me to hold on a minute as she went into the bathroom and very obviously called Justin. Her voice echoed off the walls as I listened to contently.

“Hello? Y—yea she’s up and I called just like I promised okay?” She said softly.

He made her promise to call when I woke up? But why?

“She’s not doing so well. Not physically I mean we don’t know anything about that yet but the emotional side of her isn’t so good right now.” She answered some question. “I don’t know what she needs sweetie. The nurse says she needs food but she won’t eat w—without you.” 

I bit my lip waiting for the rejection to occur and not having any idea what that flawless voice was saying on the other line.

“Are you sure? O—okay I’ll tell her. I love you too honey. Bye.”

I waited in my bed feeling the IV tug on my arm and sighing. Needles just pissed me off. Pattie came back out stuffing her phone into her pocket and smiling at me. She sat at my bedside and took my hand treating me like her little daughter all over again. 

“H—he’s not coming I—is he?” I whispered voice trembling so bad.

She smiled and smoothed my hair back again. “He’s on his way.”

I looked up in shock. “What?”

“Yea.” She nodded. “I didn’t know if it’d be such a good idea but he was already out the door apparently he slept on the couch. You know he doesn’t want to sleep in a bed without you? He’s gonna bring some food for you to and you gotta eat it okay?” 

I bit my lip. “Okay. I will I promise. But . . . what about the wedding? He said he didn’t want me anymore.”

She shook her head and smiled a little. “Well he put your ring on for you. And I don’t think someone who didn’t want you anymore would go out to get you food at one o’clock in the morning.” 

I looked down at my hand and the ring hanging on my now bony finger. You can imagine the tears that came after that. Pattie held me for a while and kept whispering in my ear a whole lot of things that I think I really needed to hear.

“You’re so beautiful sweetie. You have so many people who love you so much. Scooter was crying, Justin was crying. You scare us with this. You never have to feel insecure about your body alright? I’m pretty sure if you were purple Justin would just think that was some how the sexiest thing ever.”

I giggled a little having a special moment with her after all that we’d been through.

“I—I didn’t do it hurt him Pattie. He means everything to me I just . . . I don’t know why I stopped eating but he liked it at first. I was pretty to him.” I whispered.

She chuckled. “Honey you’ve always be so much more than pretty to him. When he was on tour everything reminded him of you. That first week after we left? It was like oh look at that building Sam would look so beautiful next to it. He always told me how much he missed you and cared about you. You’ve been on his mind since day one. He thought you were working out for yourself Sam not for him. And he very obviously didn’t know you were starving yourself.”

I looked down blushing. “He cares about me huh?” 

She nodded. “More than anything. And I get it honey you’re scared. It’s okay to be scared about such raw passion but you can’t run away from him. You can’t push him away anymore alright? You have to let him be there for you no matter what. Tonight things just got too heated and he was angry. But that anger stemmed from him loving you right?”

I nodded softly as a knock on the door came and we both turned to see him. 

Justin. He didn’t looked like he’s slept once so ever. There were bags under his eyes and he looked so tired I wanted to offer him my bed. He had a bag of food in his hands but I didn’t pay any attention to it. His hair was tousled and it look like he’d been running his fingers through it. His sweatpants were sagging in such a Justin fashion that I wanted to smile. They were pegged inside his supras and his sweatshirt still read Jamantha from when I had it made for him. He walked forward no one saying a word and not a sound coming from the room accept for the sound of his feet.

*Justin’s point of view*

I stood in the middle of the door way as my mom held Sam in her arms. Why did she look so beautiful? She had tears dripping down her cheeks but there was still a smile tugging at her sweet full lips. I felt like she looked better from the last time I’d been there, healthier. I just wanted to kiss her so bad and it didn’t make any sense. Because for once I was mad at her and I was hurt. This one had really messed me up. Going home I just sat there not able to sleep or eat or do anything but think about if she was alive. Mom promised she’d call when Sam woke up but I’d already decided to go visit her by the time she called. Being mad didn’t stop the wanting; the needing that resigned in my veins for her. 

“H—hi.” She whispered.

Her voice was too seductive for someone I was supposed to be mad at. I walked in slowly and set the food on the counter.

“Mom can we have a second?” I asked eyes still on Sam.

She gripped my mom’s arm hard when she tried to pull away.

“It’s okay Sam,” she whispered. “Remember you can’t pull away anymore.”

Sam bit her lip and nodded softly pulling and figediting with her engagement ring that wasn’t fitting right. My mom came up and kissed my cheek before stepping out of the room and closing the door. I looked down biting my lip and not even knowing where to start. I heard her start to move trying to get out of bed and rushed over pushing her body back down softly.

“Don’t you need to stay in bed.” I whispered.

She nodded softly and leaned back taking a deep breath like she’d just run a 5k. I didn’t understand why I’d never seen her pain before. I sat in my chair next to her and she let me take her hand.

“We could get it resized to match your finger.” I said noticing how big it now was on her.

She shook her head. “This isn’t me. I’ll get the ring to fit again, if you let me.”

I sighed and noticed she was already starting to cry.

“D—don’t.” I muttered. “Cause if you start crying them I’m gonna start crying and it’s just gonna be one whole pussy fest.”

She giggled through the tears and looked at my face as I looked down at her hands.

“Justin . . . look at me.” She whispered.

I bit my lip and looked up at her eyes boring into mine.

“I am sorry okay? I am so sorry that I hurt you. That’s the worst part because I never want to hurt you.” She whispered tears choking her.

“Why?” I whispered. “Why did you have to do that. You’re so beautiful why do you feel the need to alter yourself.”

She just shrugged. “I stopped taking my Cymbalta. I haven’t taken it in weeks and I lost sight of who I was. Justin I am not an anorexic I just wanted to self-harm in a different way because I knew cutting was wrong. Dr. Simon knew that and that’s why he monitored me before telling you. I made a huge mistake . . . and I just felt like you thought I looked good that way and that fueled everything.” 

“That’s because I thought you were doing it for yourself. I thought you just wanted to even something out or . . . I don’t know. I thought you needed support I just want to support you at everything you do but not if it’s gonna kill you.” I said.

She looked down at the word like it literally hurt her. She’d already come too close to that.

“You don’t know how beautiful you are to me. Everything about you has driven me crazy since I was sixteen. I don’t care if you drop ten pounds or gain twenty Sam you’re perfect. I don’t want you in any other form then the way you come. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like that wasn’t the case because it is.” I promised.

She blushed and looked down like what I was saying wasn’t true. I pushed her chin back up and made her look at me.

“When we make love? I don’t like to turn the lights off because I love seeing your face and your body. It’s not just because I’m a guy and I wanna get it in. It’s . . . the fact that every time I look at you my heart beats in a different rhythm that only you can cause. I want you. I don’t want this I want my Sam. You had hips, you had curves, and quite frankly the chest department worked. There’s never been anything wrong with you ever. I need you to believe that.” 

That’s when she started to bawl. The tears came hard to fast and I pulled her into a hug letting her rest her chin my shoulder and gasp over and over again. The bones in her back stuck through her skin like plastic wrap. But I held her close because that’s what she needed. When she spoke her voice came out trembling and small.

“I—I’m so happy to have you. I need you Justin.” She cried. 

“I’m not going anywhere baby I’m right here.” I whispered.

She pressed her face into my chest still crying and gasping. I moved away to take her face in my hands and kiss her. The tears hit my face as they rolled down her cheeks but I didn’t care cause her mouth was on mine. Her lips had never been so tender, so filled with love and affection. She was more sorry for hurting me then for hurting herself and although it was absurd I’d take it. For a while I just sat there leaning half out of my seat and kissing the love of my life. There was never something we couldn’t get through together. We’d been through too much to call it quits. She was right. She wasn’t anorexic she was just scared and in pain because she was refusing to get better. But when she stopped resisting everything was so much easier.

When Sam calmed down she took a deep breath and smiled at me flashing those beautiful teeth.

“You are the most amazing man on this earth.” She sighed.

I smiled and kissed her cheek.

“Just do me a favor and eat. I haven’t seen you eat in too long.” I murmured.

She nodded softly as I grabbed the bag of food and started helping her get ready to eat.

*Pattie’s point of view*

I watched the whole thing from outside the door and almost started crying. Together they just looked so happy no matter what the circumstances was. Listening to my son talking about making love wasn’t exactly a fun time but other than that it was beautiful. So I waited until he had her meal set up to walk back into the room. They were back into a lovey dovy state of course so I sat down across from her watching a big moment.

“It’s just a burger.” Justin murmured. “Take a bite.”

She bit her lip staring at the burger on her plate and then over at Justin.

“Just a burger.” She nodded with a deep breath.

Everyone was quiet as she picked it up and took a bite. She chewed slowly at first then sped up a little taking another bite and groaning.

“Fuck I missed food.” She gasped.

Justin smiled at her and laughed. Things started to settle into a more natural rhythm as she kept eating sitting up in bed. She held his hand the whole time as they talked a little bit more like nothing had ever happened. I was so happy for her that it made me want to cry.

“Mom you should get home.” Justin said softly. “You’ve got to be tired.”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re the one who hasn’t slept you’re just trying to get rid of me.”

Sam giggled and turned to me taking my hand.

“Pattie . . . thank you for everything that you’ve done and said to me. You’re the best mother-in-law to be I could ask for. You should get some rest. I’m fine and nothing is really going to happen tonight. But it would mean a lot to me if you’d come back when the doctors sit down with me tomorrow.” Sam said.

I bit my lip nodding softly. “Alright I’ll go.”

I stood up hugging Sam and kissing her forehead again. Justin stood up hugging me tight and nearly pulling me up off the ground. It was like that boy just shot up over night.

“Thank you for watching her? You’re the best Mom you really are.” He whispered.

“Let my love take you higher?” I smirked.

“Cause I still turn to you.” He smiled.

I kissed his forehead too cause he was still my boy before leaving the little lovebirds to their love while I went home with a smile bigger then Canada on my face.

*Justin’s point of view*

When my mom left I was smiling. She played such a huge role in my life and just because I turned eighteen didn’t mean that just stopped. I loved her, so much because she sacrificed so much for me. And having her there for Sam just made me want to grab her and never let her go. You always have certain people that are there for you every day of every hour of every minute and for the longest time that was her. I couldn’t get over that. She just helped make me the man I am today. 

Sam finished eating within minutes before she started burping all over the place and groaning.

“So . . . full.” She mumbled.

I laughed and shook my head. “You’re probably tired baby you should sleep.”

“Yea probably.” She agreed. “But I’d rather be with you.”

I sighed knowing how bad I wanted to stay up with her forever in that room and never have to leave.

“When’s the last time you slept? Like besides the fainting?” I asked sincerely.

She popped her lips seriously thinking about her answer. “I think it’s been about three days I mean I’ve nodded off but I can’t hold it.”

“I can’t even imagine that.” I sighed pulling her hair behind her ear. “Maybe we should get you something to help. I can get the nurse.”

“I just want . . . I want you to sing to me. I could sleep to your voice.” She whispered.

I smiled a little. “You were afraid to ask me that?” 

She nodded softly and I sat down taking her hand in mine.

“Just a fraction of your love fills the air,” I sang softly. “And I fall in love with you all over again Ohh, you’re the light that feeds the sun in my world. I’d face a thousand years of pain for my girl.”

She bit her lip looking up at and smiling.

“Out of all the things in life that I could fear, the only thing that would hurt me is if you weren’t here.”

The song fit perfectly and it put a smile on those perfect lips. I sang to her with everything I had in me and it was probably some of the best vocals I’d ever done. When she started to doze off I stopped and pulled the covers up around her. I reached across the bed to kiss her forehead and down to her neck.

“Goodnight baby. I love you so much.” I whispered.

And I stayed there for about another hour just holding her hand and watching her sleep. It was beautiful how in peace she looked. I smiled as I moved over to the couch for people spending the night. It felt too far away but I turned the lights off anyway and went to bed with a smile on my face because my baby was okay. That’s all I need.

*Sam’s point of view*

When I woke up the nurse was checking my charts and all that medical shit that I didn’t care about. She gave me my pills and a glass of juice that I guess was supposed to be super fattening. Yay. My therapist was supposed to be coming in later but it was only like ten in the morning. I drank my juice smirking and trying not to giggle to myself.

“What’s got you so happy today?” she asked. 

The same nurse all over again was pretty used to me and Justin so I knew I didn’t have to say too much but it was okay cause I always liked to gloat about Justin.

“Oh Rose he sang me to sleep. No pills, no gas masks or anything just his voice.”

She smiled at me. “And he left you this.”

She handed me another piece of paper all folded up with my name written in cursive on the front. I smiled wide unfolding it to read his sweet words.

Dear Sex Kitten,

I had to go to rehearsals because I told Scooter I would go and it’s important that I get these steps down. I’m coming back as soon as I can though. My mom’s coming to be with you for a couple hours because I don’t want you alone and if you argue I’m gonna . . . kiss you to death or something. Just wait for me till you talk to the doctors okay? I want to be there and know what’s going on. Eat some breakfast, write me back. Whatever you want to do. I love you . . . and that rhymed because I’m an artist and that’s how I roll #Swaggy. You’re everything if you had to ask. And I miss you. Bye baby

Love your Canadian dream. 

P.S You looked so sexy when you were snoring this morning.

I busted out laughing at his letter but also biting my lip at the cuteness. He was so amazing it hurt. So I sat down, pulled out a piece a paper and wrote him back.

Dear Canadian Dream,
The last part of that letter had me dying of laughter. I had a dream last night. It was me and you and this island. It was so quiet and peaceful and we just had the best time. We had like some amazing beach sex there. So I want you to build me an island. *I’m serious* and I want it to be in the shape of a heart so get to lowing up land Bieber. No I’m kidding because I know you would do it if you could and that’s not funny Justin. I love you though and last night just proved that me and you can get through anything. You made me feel so special and beautiful and that’s all I’ve ever wanted to feel. You give me things I never thought I could have and I just want to thank you for loving me the way you do. You’re my love and my heart and if we’re going 360 on the cheesy scale you’re my soul mate. And baby I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you and . . . I can’t wait to marry the living fuck out of you. xD God I’m funny. I miss you boo boo. Byeeeeeeee <3

P.S I love your penis!

I bit my lip trying to hold back the laughs and folded it up.

Pattie showed up soon with breakfast and we ate together waiting for Justin to show up. It was a couple of hours and I really was trying to focus on getting energy which was a little easier with all the vitamins they were giving me. I got out of bed and walked around taking a shower and changing into different clothes. They let me take the IV out and I felt so good with washing my hand and spraying the someday on. The best part of coming out from a shower? Having this beautiful sexy man waiting for you with his hair gelled back and rocking a swagged out a plaid shirt with jeans and converse. 

“Justin.” I breathed biting my lip.

“I’ve been here a hole five minutes waiting for a hug get that cute ass over here.” He smirked.

I giggled and blushed getting a sudden burst of speed and running into his arms. He picked me up wrapping my arms and legs around his back and kissing my neck all over. I tried not to touch his hair too much and just kissed his face wherever I could. He smiled up at me smirking his ass off.

“Ah, ah, ah put my patient down before she has a heart attack.”

I knew it was Dr. Simon and I squealed hitting at Justin to put me down. He sighed and set me on the ground and I ran to go to Dr. Simon. He supported me so much and probably saved my life again.

“Hey.” He murmured side hugging me.

“Thank you for calling him. You knew I could never tell him.” I whispered.

He nodded. “I know.”

Justin was there and my therapist was there which felt good so they let me get out of bed and sit on the couch as we talked through everything. I sat on Justin’s lap straddling him though it was inappropriate and leaning my head on his shoulder. They brought me my Cymbalta and I was happy to take it not refusing treatment once so ever.

“How do you think we need to take action?” Dr. Simon asked.

I bit my lip playing with Justin’s collar.

“What do you mean?” 

He sighed. “Do you think you need to go back to the treatment center?” 

I’d never even thought about that. Like the thought had never entered my mind.

“I really don’t want to. I think I should lighten my work load. Focus on something that makes me happy like the wedding and just writing my book. But I don’t want to go back. I’m not in that mind frame that I was last year.” I whispered.

Justin rubbed my back softly encouraging me.

“Okay. Well here’s what we’ll do. I want you to start coming to group therapy, try it out if it doesn’t work we’ll just keep it between me and you. You have my number and you’re sponsors if anything goes wrong but it’s very important that you speak out when it comes to your problems okay?”

I nodded softly. “I can do that.”

“And how are you feeling emotionally right now?” He asked.

Justin kissed my neck and I sighed pushing him back.

“Horny if someone doesn’t get off of me.” I muttered.

“Babe you are literally on top of me.” Justin defended himself.

I giggled. “I feel like I’ve had like a break through or something. I feel really head strong and just ready to stop having to come to the hospital. I want to move forward and just be all that I can be.” 

“That’s good.” He said ignoring the talk of hormones. “The important thing next is what happens when you get home. You need a support system.” 

I looked down at Justin and smiled. “I have all the support I need.”

He smiled and reached to kiss me. I suddenly lost the ability to talk as our tongues danced.

“JUSTIN AND SAMANTHA SEPARATE!” Pattie screeched.

I sighed and pulled away from him crawling over to the spot beside him and take his hand.

“I’m sorry.” We whispered in unison.

Dr. Simon just laughed at us. “Well Sam it seems you weren’t over exaggerating after all.”

“You told him about us?” Justin asked.

I shrugged. “What else am I supposed to talk about the day after making love? Carrots?”

Justin blushed and looked down. He was affectionate, not that affectionate. 

“You need a support system for when Justin’s not around.” Dr. Simon continued. “It’s different when you have this kind of life style.”

Justin spoke up then. “I—I can make time for her. She can come with me anywhere I go she doesn’t have to stay home if she doesn’t want to.”

That left it up to me. “At the end of the day I want him to support me because he’s the person I’m spending the rest of my life with. I want to make it important that we don’t spend a lot of time apart unless he’s working on the album cause I’m not allowed then.”

“Justin you are taking on a huge responsibility. It’s very important that she does feel that support in order to move forward.” He explained.

Justin squeezed my hand. “I will. My manager and I will be sitting down to alter the schedule. I’m gonna take her home back to Canada.”

Dr. Simon smiled. “I think you guys will do good. Just keep in touch and let me know how everything goes okay?”

We thanked him for coming and shook his hand before he left.

Pattie went out to get lunch and that left me and Justin alone again. We sat on the couch cuddled together and gave him my note to read. He smiled while reading it and held onto my hand. I watched him laughed at my P.S and then he pulled me onto his lap again.

“You’re amazing.” He breathed.

“In the sack.” I joked.

He chuckled and shook his head. “You ready to go visit home again?”

I sighed. “I haven’t been there in a while. I’m happy now I want to go back.”

“Good. I can’t wait to stuff you.” He smirked.

“Pause bro! Pause!” I laughed.

He busted out laughing shaking between the giggles.

“With food Sam with food!” 

I smiled snuggling closer to him. “No more Jerry for me?”

He sighed. “We’re supposed to be waiting for the wedding.”

“I understand you don’t want to make love to me.” I said.

He raised his eyebrow. “You’re funny. Now stop with the fake pouty face and come grind on me.”

I laughed and straddled his waist against wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing his sweet, warm lips. I was alive, my heart continued to beat to the sound of Justin’s drum. The wedding was still on. And the love of my life was holding me in my arms. Everything worked out because I was constantly reminded that people loved me. And that’s the important thing. You don’t have to agree with what someone does you just have to support them and pray that they make the right to decisions. Justin gave me every compliment in the book and none of them compared to him just being there in person. I knew how busy he was and the fact that he came to the hospital made me want to cry. I didn’t care about my past anymore I just wanted to leave that all behind. Because the only thing that mattered to me was my family, and my family is exactly what kept me going.

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