The Locket Of Hair

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  • Publiceret: 25 aug. 2013
  • Opdateret: 25 aug. 2013
  • Status: Igang


11. TLOH 70

A Bieber Love Story

The Locket of Hair part 70:

The Road to Recovery


*Sam’s point of view*

I’d just gotten a very interesting call from the E network. I was preparing for the premiere of the documentary that would no longer be held at the house due to “safety hazards”. They wanted to do a special for the wedding. It wasn’t very professional to call me directly when I had no idea what Scooter would want. But maybe it was time to take some responsibility for myself and make my own decisions the way Scooter always taught me. So I went to Justin’s rehearsals and sat down with him to talk about it.

“Hey.” I said softly.

He looked exhausted but hugged and kissed me anyway plopping down into a seat.

“Hey what’s up?” he sighed.

“Uh E called. They want to do a wedding special.”

Justin just sighed again. “Okay.”

“Okay what?” I asked confused.

“Whatever you want.”

I looked at him for a second. “What’s your problem?”

“I just don’t want to deal with this shit.” He muttered.

“What shit you mean our wedding?”

It hurt a lot more the it should’ve but I was stressed enough as it was with my fiancé calling our wedding shit. I pushed away from the table and he grabbed my hand.

“W—wait Baby please stop.” He murmured.

I looked down as a big red dot plopped on my arm. Fuck.

“What’s that?” Justin asked.

I pulled my hand away and up to my nose running away to storm into the bathroom. That was the third time that week my nose had started to bleed that week. Justin came pounding on the door soon enough as I tried to cut off the flow that trickled down my face.

“Sweetie? Sweetie come on it’s Justin please talk to me.” He begged through the door.

“Leave me alone!” I cried.

“Oh Sammy don’t cry, please don’t cry. Look I’ve been working really hard on this performance and I’m just tired. Please, come on tonight’s supposed to be your night. Let me in baby please?”

I sighed pulling the tissue out of my nose to see the pure red soaked into the cloth. Moving to open the door he was there leaning against the frame looking too beautiful to be mad at. He pulled me into a hug smoothing out my hair and pulling my face up to kiss me. Forgiving him was all too easy. He was just so perfect.

“I’m sorry okay?” He said softly.

“Okay.” I whispered biting my lip.

He kissed me again and we started walking back to Scooter and everyone. I blushed a little as he held my waist in his hands pressing my head into the crook of his neck.

“Tell me what you want to do.” He asked.

I sighed. “I think we should ask the fans to be honest. At the end of the day they’re the one that have to watch it. And if it’s gonna upset them it’s not worth it.”

He nodded and squeezed me in his arms as we went to sit down. Justin tweeted that me and him had a question before we set up the twitvid.

“Hi I’m Justin.”

“I’m Sam.” I shrugged awkwardly.

“And we just wanted to ask you . . . would you guys want an E special for the wedding. We got the offer today but wouldn’t do it at all if you’re not comfortable with it. So let us know okay? I love you and I’d really like to share this day with you cause we’re a family. Right?”

We waved bye, me in the end not having to say much and Justin just uploaded it. I didn’t want to hear any of the responses so I left that with Justin. But I did spend the rest of the day with him missing Jazzy and Jaxon since they’d gone back to Canada with Jeremy. There was no one tugging on my pants anymore. After rehearsals we stopped for dinner and I complained of nerves to get out of eating. He sighed but ate anyway as we hurried over to hang with the crew and finally watch the premiere of my documentary. The Road to Recovery.

*No point of view*

The screen starts with her voice. It is soft and subtle and filled with the wisdom of a woman who knows pain.

“There always this thing where no one understands. No one gets how bad I’m feeling. But it’s not true. There are so many girls who hate themselves the way I did. I’m just the girl who got to talk about it.”

The blackness of the screens turns to light appearing in Sam and Justin’s bedroom. Sam packs and complains and Justin laughs at her. It flips back from breakfast to packing showing Justin cooking for her and the interviewers asking questions as she eats. It shows the love of their relationship. Justin as someone who sincerely cares about her happiness. As if to prove a point the camera goes to Justin with a black background and his arms resting on the arms of his chair. His hair is messy and he was a grey sweatshirt and a smile as he talks about her.

“If you told me that as almost eighteen I would have like . . . met someone so full of life and wisdom like her I’d tell you you’re insane. But I met her when I was sixteen. She’s been through so much and she’s working hard every day to getting through things that still haunt her. I think the most important part is that she has such a big family to help her do it.”

The camera fades out and moves to Sam as she’s asked a question. She sitting with her legs cross knee bobbing the way it does when she’s nervous. Her shirt is a Justin t-shirt of course and skinny jeans with converse.

“What exactly does family mean to you?”

She smiled. “Family is everything. And I qualify a lot of people as family. My fans for instance are the best part of my family just because they’re such passionate and loving baby. I honestly love them with everything in me.”

The fans are shown outside the airport of London screaming and welcoming Sam. She asks for hugs before they can and signs everything put in front of her. Then her voices come back on.

“I think it was in the UK that . . . for the first time a girl stopped me and said she knew that I was beautiful. And she told me no matter what anyone says or tweets or posts on facebook I’m changing people’s lives, I’m changing the world. And I looked at her and just cried. Most stars are just aww that’s sweet but no I grabbed that girl like life depended on it. And maybe that made my day but that could’ve made her year or her life. Telling her that it’s not just me but that by her staying strong and being herself she’s changing the world too brought her to tears too. It’s just . . . it’s one of the best days of my life.”

The screen fades into the title: The road to recovery as the commercials start to roll.

“How many of you have . . . let’s say never had a girlfriend or boyfriend?”

Most of the room raised their hands.

“How many of you have never even been kissed?” Sam asks.

The same people raise their hands all over again.

“Well most of you are only what thirteen, fourteen? I was sixteen when I had my first kiss . . . and three years later they’re the only lips I’ve ever kissed and I’m engaged to him. All I’m saying is . . . love it comes and it goes. But when you sit there and you just worry about why a guy is trying to impregnate you like the blonde down the hall who won’t be able to keep that figure in twenty years if she tried it’s just negativity. Why do we have to do that when we can focus on so much more? You think no one loves you? You’re wrong. Because I love you and I promise you that I do. We’re a family you and I. We’re the outcasts . . . the missfits. And who gives a fuck to be honest?”

Everyone in the room started laughing and clapping.

“I was born March 19, 1994.” Sam’s voice came in as a voice over again. “In London, Ontario I used to think I had a happy childhood but I really, really didn’t. I . . . absolutely hated my mother, like looking at her used to make my skin crawl. She just made me feel so, so bad about myself. Never gave me a compliment or said I love you for that matter. My dad was like my best friend, he’s what gave me strength. So when the divorce came and she took me away from him I was crushed. That I guess you could say was the start of it all I think.”

The screen changed through baby pictures and schools as the interviewer asks another questions.

“Do you remember the first time you cut?”

Sam’s face comes up; the smile is gone, and all she does is nod.

“Do you mind saying why you started to do it that day?”

She sighs. “I found this guy you know? And he loved me like a lot. He . . . took me shopping when I hated people buying me things, held my hand and stroked my palm, told me I was beautiful. And I’d never had that before. So when it got down to it I got scared. And I . . .” She swallowed. “I broke his heart by running away. In my head it made sense. He was just so perfect and I was just Sam plain and ordinary. And when I got back to Canada I was left with all this pain because I still loved him but I no longer had anyone that loved me back. I don’t know why I did or what made me pick up the blade that day but . . . it changed my life. And I’ve spent every day since wondering if it was for better or worse.”

She held her wrist out so the camera could zoom in on her tattoos.

“At first I wanted to blame it on Justin. Because it would just be so easy you know? Like a pompous famous prick the source of all my problems. But that just wasn’t the case. He blames himself but I’ll always know everything wrong with me happened long before he came around. All he ever did was help me break down which believe it or not I needed.” She said tears in her eyes.

“When’s the first time you noticed her cuts?”

Justin stirs in his seat a little bit and bites his lip. Uhmm . . . my fans found her in California. I didn’t even know she left Canada. So I went to visit her job hoping to I don’t know I just needed to see her. She through a fit, slapped me, and ran away. But like, she’d missed me too and she couldn’t hide that. I remember she had on this tank top that said brown eyed bitch which was like the words of one of her favorite songs changed to match her eye color. She uh . . . put her hand on m—my cheek before I left.” He stopped and swallowed fighting tears. “There were like these angry, thick, red lumps on her skin. I think the worst part was that you could see the scars, I could tell she’d been doing it a while. And no one could tell. The first time I’d seen her in almost two years and I knew it instantly. She wanted to be found out. Almost like she was waiting for me to come to her. It seemed like only one person I could go to.” 

The camera switches to Demi as she start to talk the screen shows Sam riding in the car leaning her head against a window and looking lonely.

“Justin called me at like eleven o’clock at night and uh we didn’t really talk much we still kept in touch. So I answered and he’s whispering really quick and really fast and I’m almost thinking like he’s playing a joke on me or something but when he slowed down enough to really listen there was this like ache in his voice. He was really torn over this. He was afraid to go to me because of Selena but he said he just had no one else who could help and that this girl was literally everything to him. I think that talking to him that night was the first time I’d seen like a real life love story. Cause the bond between those two is insane.” She smiled.

The cameras moves to the shots of Justin in Sam’s hotel room to surprise her. Sam is next to talk.

“The suicide was defiantly my turning point. I take full responsibility even though the media tried to blame it on Selena. I really don’t see why you would try to blame someone almost dying on another human being but I guess this is just one fucked up world. Demi saved my life I guess by having Justin save my life. I owe them everything because I should’ve died on that bathroom floor but I didn’t. And I just remember as soon as I saw his face the will to live came through. Leaving him wasn’t an option because I just wanted him too damn bad. Then it was like even though I was going under from the loss of blood I was going to come back to him. He never had to worry about me dying.” She says.

As the documentary continues it shows more of the business woman aspect of Sam. This of course led them to getting Scooter.

“What is it about Sam that you think appeals to the public eye?”

“I . . . think that Sam is just a type of woman that’s lacking in the spotlight right now. She’s very head on and strong and she’s smart enough to know when not to fall for things. Her drive is measurable to artist when it doesn’t even have to be. She just doesn’t hold back and for some people that’s a turn off but for most it’s just like they want to be that. She’s just so powerful and she works so hard not even for herself, not even for the money, but for the fans. Every time we talk she wants to do something for the fans or she wants to meet someone or sign something. It’s that type of love and bond that she has with them that keeps her relevant. She’s a genuine woman and she can go from being sweet and blushing at you to calling you ever cussword in the book in about two point seven seconds. She appeals to everyone and that’s what it is.” Scooter says.

They show Sam having a rough day and she starts to explain what gets her through the day as the show starts to dwindle down.

“What gets me through the day is . . . just being surrounded by people who work so hard to show me love. Whether it’s Scooter telling me how proud he is or telling me I’m like a daughter to him which just really gets to me. Or Demi telling me my boobs look amazing. Every day I wake up to Justin who is . . . the most affectionate, lovey dovy person I’ve ever met. I’ve got my fans and I’ve got my business. What makes me happy is helping people, going to a school and having people say I changed their life. I’m just happy being me right now.”

*Sam’s point of view*

Watching the interview was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Everything that seemed to happen on the screen just wasn’t true anymore. I looked so happy there compared to now. During the commercial everyone had to comment on how much smaller I was now. Justin seemed to study me a little harder then that but I just ignored him and looked back at the screen.

“Do you think people hate you for dating Justin?” The guy asked.

I’d wrapped my arms around my legs and leaned my head on my knees shrugging.

“I mean I know they do and it’s completely understandable to an extent. I don’t think they really see me as human because they don’t know me. When you’re behind a computer screen the last think you think about is someone else’s feelings. They tell me not to even look at the sites or see what people say but you know it’s kind of inevitable because I love to talk to my fans. And I’ve never been the type of person that cares what people say. I’m the person that sees myself in the worst light no matter how good or bad other people feel about me. To be honest I’d rather they hate me and send their hate to my twitter then to Justin’s. he means the world to me. I love and he loves me back for some reason. That’s real. If someone can’t handle how I feel about MY boyfriend they can very honestly go fuck themselves.” 

It was like the best part of the whole thing for me because it was so raw and honest. The documentary ends with me and family. Scooter, Justin, Alfredo, Nick, Demi, my fans. We’re all dancing like idiots and it’s hilarious. I’m smiling and I look over at Justin to look up and kiss him. The show ends with me smiling so wide it looks like it hurts. I look happy, really happy. I kind of missed that.

After that we had the fan thing with like the after interview and everything. Once again my family was there and it felt good to have everyone there for me. Justin had made reservations for EVERYONE? So now we had Scooter, Justin, Alfredo, Nick, Demi, Pattie, Kristen, Adam showed up, Carin, and little ole me all showed up to shove three tables together. I was sitting at the front of the table with Justin and everyone else was wrapped around me. It felt good to have so many people telling me they loves the documentary. At the end of the day it did have to include a lot of Justin because he was such a huge part of my life. I didn’t even know he’d done interviews for the documentary. I just remember the last question they asked him.

“How do you feel about the people that hate Sam?”

He sighed and shrugged. “I think it’s ridiculous hating someone you’ve never met. And when it’s my fans that do it it just depresses me because they’re my family, I just want them to love what I love. At the end of the day you can’t expect everyone to love you because it’s just not realistic. I love her . . . no matter what happens no matter how anyone else feels about her I love her. It’s just something that can really make or break someone. If you give a person everything emotionally they won’t feel the need to depend on society’s opinion on them. So that’s why I do . . . I tell her every day that she’s beautiful, that she’s perfect just by being herself, and I remind her that no one could love her the way I do. At the end of the day that makes her smile. Unless she’s having a bad day the hate doesn’t faze her and that’s all I care about.”

I smiled to myself as he held my hand on the table and made me smile over and over again. He ran his lips up and down my wrist not really paying attention to anything else but me. I bit my lip watching him and blushing a lot. Justin had no idea what was wrong and I wanted to keep it that way. It meant so much to me have him there in that moment and he knew that. He smiled at me and pulled my chair closer to whisper in my ear.

“Guess what?” He asked.

I smiled. “What?”

His lips touched my jaw. “I love you.”

I giggled and pulled away blushing as dinner came to the table.

Demi was finally back in town and after spend the first half of the meal flirting it up with Alfredo I finally got my bitch back! Everyone was eating and enjoying themselves. I felt very self-conscious about hiding my food in front of Demz. I felt like she could see through me, like everything I put up to protect me was useless against her. I watched her eat and how happy she was and for some reason it just depressed me further. She was so comfortable in her own skin. I felt like a horrible person but . . . it made me angry. Why did she get to be the one who got through it? Why was she able to stay so strong?

It was probably because she was prettier then me. I mean looking at her she was drop dead gorgeous. She wore a sleeveless black dress with pumps probably for Fredo but that was besides the point. Her curves were beautiful and her face was just stunning. I sat there for I don’t know how long comparing myself to her and coming up short. I’d never be as good as Demi. Ever.

“Baby you okay?” 

I snapped out of my daze and looked over at Justin looking at me.

“I—I’m fine.” I stuttered.

“You just . . . you have really touched your dinner.” He said.

He talked loud enough to get the attention of most of the table. I blushed and looked down.

“I’m eating okay just keep your voice down.” I muttered. 

He bit his lip. “Okay I’m sorry.”

Everyone eventually went back to eating and I just stared down at my plate trying to make it look like I was enjoying it. A ring tone sounded and everyone rushed to get there phones.

“Oh uh I should get this. I’ll be right back.” Justin said moving out of his chair.

I watched his kiss my forehead before running off and turning to leave.

“You guys okay?” Demi asked.

I smiled at her. “Yea we’re good.”

She bumped my elbow. “I missed you bitch.”

“I missed you too cunt.” I smirked.

Alfedo asked a question then and she turned to answer before kissing his cheek and turning back to me. No matter what they were such an adorable couple.

“How’s therapy going?” She asked taking a bite of her food freely.

I bit my lip. “I don’t really . . . wanna talk about therapy if you don’t mind.”

“O—oh okay sorry I brought it up. Uhm how’d the pencils of promise thing go?”

The only thing that came to mind was my nose bleed.

“It went good I think Adam likes me so.” I shrugged.

She looked at me for a second. “Are you happy? Like really happy Sam and don’t give your bullshit routine.” 

I had no idea what to say or what to do. Demi just couldn’t be fooled ever. Then all of a sudden Justin just busted into the restaurant shaking his head and looking pissed. He came to the table and shoved the chair out of his way and sat down. I expected it to be a business call that just made him mad or something. And I especially was thankful for not having to talk to Demi anymore.

“What’s wrong baby?” I asked sympathetically.

“Nothing let’s just eat.” He muttered.

“Okay.” I said softly.

I didn’t want to fight with him it just took too much energy that I didn’t even have. So I just looked down at my plate and went to picking at the rice.

“Hey do you want a bite of this?” Justin interrupted.

I looked at his fork full of calories and grimaced.

“No thanks honey.” I smiled.

“No you’ve never had it before it’s awesome just try it.” He encouraged.

“Nah I have a lot of food you enjoy.” I said.

“Sam just try it.” He pushed. 

“Justin I don’t want the fucking food!” I screeched.

The table stopped once again and I looked down turning red. The second time tonight the entire table was brought aware of my eating habits.

“Have you lost your goddamn mind?!” He yelled.

“What are you even talking about?” I muttered.

He chuckled bitterly. “Of course you don’t know there’s not enough fucking food in your system for you remember your name.”

My eyes widened at his words and looked up.

“Oops guess your secret’s out huh?” He dropped his phone on the table with a bang. “Dr. Simon call. Nine pounds? Try thirty five. You’re not even a hundred pounds anymore. Cycling class my ass Sam.”

I looked down as he yelled the words and everyone finally knew the truth. There were gasps and looking out from under my hair I noticed how disappointed everyone was in me.

“I . . . I’m gonna go.” I whispered.

His hand caught my arm yanking me back into my seat.

“No stay. Eat. Or do you not do that anymore since you’ve become an anorexic. I can’t fucking believe you.” He spat.

I was used to the sympathetic Justin who held me and said we were gonna get through it and that’s not what I got.

“I—I’m sorry.” I whispered.

He shook his head. “Sure . . . I’ll see you at home sweetheart. That is if you don’t float away in the fucking breeze.”

He got up out of his chair grabbing his phone and not acknowledging anyone at the table but me. I listened to him yell as he grabbed my plate and threw it on the ground saying it’s not like I was gonna eat it. And only then did he say the words to break my heart.

“The wedding is off.” He said coldly, bitterly.

I looked up as my heart broke and fell on the floor with my rice. Tears automatically started to form and drip from my cheeks as I grabbed his arm.

“N—no don’t Justin stop!” I cried.

He looked at me with pure hatred that just completely tore me apart.

“You’re gonna kill yourself by the end of the month. What’s the point.”

He pulled me off of him and moved to leave the restaurant. I was left by myself scared with no shield or anything to protect me from the dangers of the world. In reality I was the danger, a danger to myself. I’d fallen to the floor in the middle of the restaurant crying, gasping. My heart had been ripped from my chest and taking out the door. Justin. I needed him with everything in me. I couldn’t live with Justin. My nose started to bleed all over again and I wasn’t sure if it was just my nose or if my heart was bleeding out on the hard cold floor.

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