Feel something II The Vampire Diaries II One Shot

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  • Publiceret: 27 apr. 2013
  • Opdateret: 27 apr. 2013
  • Status: Igang
Alternative twist. Let's just imagine that Elena is dead and Jeremy isn't supernatural. Except for the sentence I just wrote, there won't be any spoilers. I've made it up myself, it isn't what happens in the series. I did not think so much about how it happened in the series, so if you read something and get all "that's is just NOT how it happened!" then it doesn't really matter :3- My english's a bit rusty so I humbly apologize for any mistakes.

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1. Alone

 

The weeks after Elena’s death, Jeremy felt nothing else than pain. It was like as if his bones were breaking, as his organs were rotting, as if his heart was being stabbed. He felt like the pain was eating him up from inside. 

He could not be with other people anymore. They did not understand him. And he could not do what they wanted him to. He could not sit beside them as if he had moved on; he could not be the lost boy with no family yet either. He couldn’t be strong. Not even for them. He could not stand their pity. The looks they send him, the looks, they probably thought were making him feel better, but which only added fuel to the fire.

It wasn’t until he found an old article in some of the papers his father had kept, he realized it; there were one person. One person who would truly understand.

 

“Sixteen-year old girl found murdered in the Mystic Falls forests. The young girl was killed by several wounds in the chest, caused by a hunting knife. The murderer is not yet found.”

 

It was a small article, but it made Jeremy see it; he was not alone in this sea of pain and sorrow. He rushed to his car and drove. There was no traffic so he drove as fast as the car allowed. When he ran up to the door that would soon allow him access to the small house, he did not care to knock. He almost kicked the door in his rush.

A boy of eighteen came running out in the hallway to see what was happening. When he saw Jeremy, his face almost sank into itself. It seemed as if he had been awaiting Jeremy’s arrival.

“Matt,” said Jeremy, breathless from the rush and tension.

“I thought you would have been here earlier,” Matt replied, before grapping his jacket. “Take a walk with me please. I have a feeling that this talk will feel better if it’s spoken outside.” Jeremy nodded without saying a word.  

They walked in silence. Past the house, into the wild forest where they had found Matt’s sister. Matt stared right forward, not even glancing at Jeremy once. This gave Jeremy plenty of time to look at Matt’s face.

Matt was older that Jeremy; nothing more than a few years, but older. The blond hair was unwashed and he was more pale than usual. Elena’s death had certainly not left Matt unharmed.

 

“How do you do it?” asked Jeremy when they had walked for a while.

“How do you do what?” replied Matt, even though he knew what Jeremy meant. It was oblivious on his face, which looked tired and sad.

“Deal with it?”

“Deal with what?”

“All of it.”

Matt sighed. He stopped walking and closed his eyes.

“I don’t know.” Jeremy snorted.

“Of course you do. You’ve done it for years. Tell me Matt, please.”

Matt opened his eyes. They were not the eyes of a teenager. He looked like an old man.

“I’m sorry Jeremy. But I don’t know. All I know is that you can’t shut your feelings out. No matter what you do, you have to deal with them. Before you can as much as think of moving on, you have to sort out what you feel.”

“But how do you do that?!” Jeremy had tears in his eyes. He had hoped that Matt could help him. He’d thought that Matt would understand. He’d been wrong.

“I’ve already told you. I don’t know. I have no idea how I did it. I have no idea if I actually have done it yet. There will always be the pain. You can’t run from it. But I suppose that’s the best.”

Jeremy did not understand. How could Matt say, that the pain was good? It most certainly did not feel good.

 

“How can you say that?!” Jeremy was yelling now. He screamed the words out, as if the pain would disappear with them. The tears were filling his eyes so he could not see anything.

“How can you say that the pain is good? It’s the most terrible thing I’ve ever felt in my life! I feel like I’m burning up inside! How can that be any good?!”

“Because at least you feel something!” Matt also yelled now. It was almost like as if all the sorrow that he had kept in for years now suddenly came out all at once.

“Even feeling pain is better than not feeling anything at all! Believe me. I know it’s hard but it’s only for now.” The tears were streaming down Matt’s face as well, Jeremy saw.

“It will be okay sometime. I don’t know when, but it will happen. I’m sure of that.”

Matt reached put for Jeremy and pulled him close. The two of them hugged each other tight, and they cried and cried and cried, for Elena, for Vicki, for everyone who had ever died. And when the sun started to sink down under the horizon, they had no tears left to cry. They just sat there, two broken boys, sad and full of pain, but yet alive. And despite all the sorrow that filled their hearts that was something that could make them smile. That was something that could make them feel less powerless. Less alone. 

 

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