Stuck in fire - Justin Bieber/Selena Gomez Kapitel 17-40

En historie der blev slettet på et andet site, som min veninde og jeg følger med i. Bare ignorer den ;)

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5. 21

Thursday, Day 11

Justin had been a bundle of nerves all night last night and he was no better off today. All he had been able to eat since I told him about his parents coming was Saltine crackers. He said he always feels nervous around them, even as a child, because it was a rarity that they ever came home.

I knew this was like another test for Justin. Every time they would come home, he would try to be what they wanted this time…hoping they'd accept him and love him…and they always left too soon. I could see he was doing that again…hoping they'd finally want him.

It was nice to see some hope in Justin's eyes…at last.

He had nightmares and he let me hold him, just like that first night I'd given him the nightshirt. We didn't make love or play any games that night. He really didn't look up to it with the mindset he was in. And he was apologizing all over the place but I told him to shut up…I told him I was tired and it was alright. Taking a night off doesn't make us any less lovers and I told him so. He seemed relieved by that and tried to get some sleep as he laid his face on my chest and I played with his hair, gently curling my other arm around him.

I hated hearing his dreams…he didn't tell me a lot about them but I figured some of them out.

"No, please…", he pleaded, panting for air, "Why? DAD!"

That was the first one. I figured that was the night his parents met Tanya.

I talked him back to sleep and finally he went under again…and then this next nightmare came:

"Why are you doing this?", he cried, "What did I EVER do to you? Tanya is dead, PLEASE! DAD! She's just a baby, for CHRIST'S SAKE! Killers are fucking following us, PLEASE – MOMMMM!"

I had to shake him a few times to snap him out of that one. When he came to, his hands flung out and almost hit me and he was sweating…shaking…then crying and apologizing to me again.

I hated seeing him cry and I clung to him for dear life, wondering if having his parents over was a good idea at all now. Look what it was doing to him. But then the psychiatrist in me said – NO, Selena. Be tough. Justin has to face his pain and his demons. He's run from them for far too long. He must see this through. Just comfort him and be there for him. That's all you can do.

All in all, I think Justin got about…ten minutes of sleep that night. And now he was staring at the TV, watching cartoons and chomping on Saltines as it neared 1pm, the time they would be arriving.

He didn't say anything to me directly about it, but he went out at dawn and came back with five new outfits, and kept trying them all on, and changing them…and trying them on again.

He wants to make a good impression on them…and that gave me a little hope. He almost wore a tie and although he looked very GQ in it, I thought that was a little too much, so he changed again.

Finally, he stayed with a nice pair of gray slacks and a white button down shirt, long sleeved, the first two buttons opened. It looked dressy but at the same time, casual enough. He shaved very close and smelled awesome when he came out of the bathroom, complaining about his "fucked up" hair. I told him his fucked up hair is beautiful and not to mess with it. He wanted to gel it straight back so it looked "neater". I wouldn't allow that and hid his hair products.

Then I had to assure him six times that I could not see any of his lash marks through the white cotton of his shirt and he finally believed me and relaxed…sort of.

I kept gently assuring him that he didn't have to turn himself into something or someone else to impress them. They owed him the apologies, not the other way around. But I could understand his fears.

When I came out of the bathroom, he was sitting on the sofa, his head back and his eyes closed. He didn't snore like most men…I smiled, glad he was at least getting some rest before his parents arrived.

I left him alone for about twenty minutes when he began to talk in his sleep again. Oh no, not another nightmare! Poor little thing!

I went over to him on the sofa and his head was slowly moving right and left…his eyes moving rapidly under his eyelids…he was panting again.

"Wake up, Justin…", I said loudly, shaking him until he jerked awake, opening his eyes at me, surprised and dazed.

/

EPOV

I gasped when I saw Selena and felt my heart beating out of my chest. She smiled and that soothed me…and she said, "You were having another nightmare, sweetie. Are you okay?"

"What?", I breathed, looking around for my parents…finding myself on the green sofa where my father had been sitting a few minutes before, "Where are my parents?"

"They didn't get here yet.", Selena informed patiently. She's going to have me committed before our time is up, I know it. Not that I don't deserve it.

I was laying back, seated on the sofa, and they weren't there. Neither was my spoon-crucifix. Oh shit. Don't tell me…

"Your parents should be here soon, I can't believe you fell asleep.", she smiled at me, adding, "But then, you didn't get any sleep last night, really."

This didn't feel right at all…I felt sick…and that weird dream…maybe it was trying to tell me something…

"Selena?", I stood up and went to her, taking her hands into mine.

"Please don't be afraid, Justin.", she stroked my cheek, frowning and saying, "Your skin is sweating. Wait. Let me get you a glass of ice water…"

"I changed my mind.", I said directly to her, waiting for her arguments, "I don't want to see them…or even hear what they have to say. There is no excuse….nothing they say is going to make me feel better. I don't want them. I don't need them. They don't love me. How could they, after all they've done to me? Let them stay dead, Selena, please. I don't want to hear whatever they're coming to tell me. The truth is…they weren't there when I really needed them."

At this, the door was rapped lightly from the outside. I tensed and felt tears spring to my eyes as Selena almost turned a bit, towards it. I grabbed her by the hands and just pleaded to her eyes with mine, shaking my head slowly, hoping she would hear me.

I can't go through it all again…seeing them, confronting them. That dream had seemed so real…except the dumb crap about the vampires and all. Where did that come from?

She hesitated and was thinking about it as I took her face in my hands and gently closed my mouth over her bottom lip, my eyes still opened and displaying my decision into hers. I looked down at her face, feeling sad at her helpless expression, and kissed her top lip, without a sound.

She closed her eyes and shivered as I tried to apologize with my eyes now…I really wasn't trying to use my kiss to win her over to my side. The knock tapped on the door again and I released her…looking down a little…letting her decide what to do.

"Hello?", my father's voice called and I felt even more rigid, "Miss Gomez?"

Selena glanced at the door and then looked at me…I raised my eyes up to meet them and the second they met, she threw her arms around me, squeezing me tightly to her as my arms responded the same.

We just clung to each other and after a couple more attempts, the knocking stopped…and I heard my mother's voice outside the door.

"Justin…", she almost sobbed the words, "I understand…and I am sorry. I'm so sorry."

I heard Carlisle say, "Come on, Esme.", and their footsteps descended the staircase.

I hated feeling like the bastard in the situation but I felt better already as I heard their car engine start outside and slowly drive away.

Selena sighed and said, "Well, that was brave of you, Justin."

"I know what I'm doing, Selena.", I peeked out the window now, seeing nothing unusual, "Trust me…you have no idea what a fucked up dream I just had about them…I just don't want them trying to justify themselves! They treated me like shit – I don't care what their god damned reasons are. I don't want them trashing Tanya…I don't think I could take it, Selena. I think I'd lose control of myself and hurt them."

"Alright, calm down, Justin.", she held me again, "I'm not going to force you to do anything you aren't ready for. But, Justin…they will call back…and they will come back."

"I know you wanted them to save me, Selena.", I said, seeing the pain in her face, "I'm sorry. But I don't want them to save me. I'd rather go back to Victoria."

"Justin…", she looked at me solemnly, "Either way, you should know the truth."

"Selena," I breathed, "Haven't I sold myself enough in my life? I'm not about to sell myself to THEM. I don't want their fucking money. Selling myself to strangers… hurts less. Please don't ask me to kneel before THEM."

"Alright, alright, Justin.", Selena held me tighter, "I didn't think of it that way. You're right. I won't make you talk to them. Maybe…I could call them later on…and talk to them myself. You don't have to hear what they have to say."

I thought that over for a minute or two…I still didn't want their help, but maybe they did have something to say that might explain things…all I could say was…

"Maybe.", I whispered into her ear.

"I love you, Justin.", she said clearly and without regret.

"I love you, too, Selena.", I responded, like a mirror, adding, "I'm sorry I messed up your plans. I know you were hoping they'd be the loving parents, all ready with some perfect explanation, ready to shower me with their millions….and I could just walk away from my problems…smiling. It's a nice dream…but like I said before…dreams just don't come true."

"Some dreams come true.", she argued gently, looking up at my face and stroking my cheek, "You're here…and you love me."

I had to smile at her…she could always prove me wrong.

"Okay…correction.", I said, "SOME dreams come true."

"That's better.", she pulled my collar down so my lips could caress hers. In the back of my mind, I realized we only had three days left together and I began to hurt inside…everywhere.

Some dreams do come true. I married Tanya. We had a little girl that was the heart of my life. I had found love again after all this time…being what I am…Selena still saw the good in me somehow.

Yes…some dreams come true. But I just can't keep them true. They spring to life and dance in a circle around me…making me smile and laugh…and then they fly away. It maybe would be better if my original statement was true…I wish dreams didn't come true. They hurt too much. My parents loving me was another dream I didn't want to come true…I can't endure anymore. I can't sit in the dark as another true dream flies off into the sunset. Losing Selena will be painful enough all by itself.

In my dream just now with the vampires, I was truly destroyed when she'd told my parents I was a slave. I hated her for a little mili-second there…and I really did want to leave. I nearly did.

Even though my parents are assholes, I don't want them to know what I've become. I'm so ashamed and afraid they might already know. And I don't want to hear their awful reasons for turning their backs on me and my daughter…even Tanya, too.

I don't care what the reasons are. It doesn't change anything. It doesn't change the pain and suffering I always feel in my bones…it doesn't heal Katie's scarred flesh…or her pain-mentally and physically. It doesn't change a thing. So I don't want to hear it.

About an hour later, we were taking a nice walk around town, just being with each other, not talking much. I feared Selena was upset with me for copping out on my meeting with my parents…and I felt like a coward.

But I really thought I was doing the best thing for my own sanity. I know I have to go back to Victoria. I know there's no out for me. I think, in Selena's eyes now, she is knowing that, too. So I didn't talk much…I just held her hand and prayed to the invisible God above…that she would be alright without me…and be happy again soon.

She was having me tell her all about the dream…as corny as it was….how my parents had said they were vampires…wanting me but not able to be close to me for my own good…Tanya being my father's singer…the whole tale about my vampire grandfather who wanted me to become one of them…my parents cutting me off to save my life…my destiny as someone "special" in the vampire world…their difficult but necessary decision to ignore my cries for help when I held Katie in my arms…the vampire guards who may have been involved in Tanya's death in the fire…the battles that went on in my name…the story of my father killing his father to avenge my family's pain…and finally…but most painful of all…their declarations of love for me always…through it all…and their claim that they loved me still…and would help me now.

I trembled as I retold it all, hoping she didn't laugh. If Selena could explain this dream to me, she was better even than I imagined.

We were sitting under a tree on a bench when I finished and she gave my hand a tender squeeze.

"I told you, I'm very good at analyzing dreams, Justin.", she said first, "I have a pretty good idea why you dreamt it all. Is it alright if I give you my take on it?"

"Yes, Selena.", I agreed, wanting her opinion. I thought she'd say I was a loon. But she didn't.

"Alright, let's do one thing at a time.", she had her notebook with her and was writing in it now, "First…your parents saying their vampires. You, Justin, love things of fantasy and magic. You love playing vampire at the club, you love mythical creatures. In your mind, you have turned your parents into those creatures so they'd be a bit more attractive to you. In your mind, in your real memories, you see them in a bad light. In your dream, you've made them something that wasn't their fault…and making them non-killing vampires, that was you wanting to believe the best in them. You made them 'good vampires'. Like your fake vampire eyes at the club…gold for good vampire, red for bad vampire."

She went on as I pondered that.

"This way, all through your childhood, when they weren't around, this dream makes it, again, not their fault, not your fault, either. They were doing it all out of love…and you desperately want their love. You always have."

"Go on.", I had to admit she is brilliant.

She took a breath and wrote some more, then said, "When they met Tanya, and said it was her scent that was the reason they didn't want her around…again…this makes it nothing Tanya did…not her fault. They liked her, really…but because Carlisle is a vampire who wanted her blood…that's the reason it all fell apart. Nothing is anyone's fault here either, not even your father's. Do you see what I mean?"

"Yes I do.", I looked down at my own hands, knowing she was right.

"It speaks a lot about your heart, Justin.", she touched my arm, comforting me, "You want your parents…you want it not to be their fault…or yours, or Tanya's. You want to forgive them somehow. And not blame them for what they've done. Even though there is a lot of anger at them for all they haven't done. You could hate them…but your heart wants to love them. That is beautiful, Justin…really!"

"Finish your analyzing, Selena.", I smiled weakly, wanting to hear it all.

"The vampire Grandfather being after you.", Selena said, "Is the evil of the world coming after you…and in your dream, your parents have always tried to protect you and save you from it…even sacrificing having you in their lives to save you. In reality, you feel they didn't save you…or care enough to save you from all the poverty, the being on the streets, the losing college…eating garbage…even struggling financially when you married Tanya…your dream says your parents wanted to help and save you, but couldn't because it meant risking your life. It even says that's why they weren't there for your big moments…your marriage, the birth of your daughter…it's all explained in the dream as them loving you but not able to be part of you. You want them to save you…deep down…you've wanted that all your life…and they never have."

I nodded, knowing she was right.

She took a moment and said, "The part about you being vampire royalty…a prince if you were to become one of them…special…that is obvious. You are special, Justin. But you don't believe you are. You always call yourself a whore, a toy, a slave. You want to be special. You want a fantasy world you can escape to where you could be something special and important…and have your parents be proud of you. More powerful than the highest King of the vampires."

Damn, she is good at this dream shit. I just thought we fell asleep watching Interview with a Vampire or something.

"The battles, the dream of Carlisle killing the evil grandfather chasing you…", Selena said, "That speaks of you wishing your father ever stood up for you…fought for you…defended you. You want that. You want your father to be brave and strong…and a warrior trying to kill the things that are hurting you."

"And…", she spoke sadly now, "The fire…you desperately want to believe that there is someone to blame for that fire…that there is a person you can hunt down and hurt because of what happened to Tanya and Katie. You want revenge and that is completely normal. You don't want to believe that this is a random, chance thing that happened. That it was a wiring problem…and that the explosion just happened when it did. It was a terrible, horrible thing…and you have no reason for why it happened…no answers of why it happened to Tanya and Katie…and you. You even hate God because it happened. You blame him for it. You blame yourself for not being there."

I felt tears in my eyes…wondering why Selena was using all her talents on someone as fucked up as I am.

"God, Justin, it's not your fault.", she whispered, "Please believe that, if nothing else. You were a little boy…a beautiful little boy. Whatever the reason your parents weren't there, it's not your fault. The fault is theirs. None of this is your fault, Justin. You have to stop punishing yourself. Tanya and Katie wouldn't want that. They love you."

"And last but not least…", Selena said, "You love your parents, too. Even after all the times they've neglected you…and hurt you…you love them."

"No, Selena.", I groaned, as if it hurt me physically to hear what she was saying.

She put her arms around me, kissing my cheek as I closed my eyes, feeling the wetness on my cheeks.

"It's okay, Justin.", she said, loving me more than I deserved, "It's good that you love them…even if they don't deserve that love. Don't hate. It will only hurt you inside…not them. Let it go."

I clung onto her for a long time, letting her diagnosis sink in. Maybe she was right. I didn't know how to stop hating them, I wished I could just simply let it go. No, I couldn't stop hating them. They turned Katie away.

"Forgive them, in your heart.", she stroked my hair, "You don't even have to see them or talk to them…just…go to your heart and tell them you forgive them. It will take tons off your shoulders, Justin…really. You'll see…when you're ready to do that."

Selena is right…and my parents might come back. If they do, I will face them myself…I don't know if I'll forgive them…but I will remember the dream and the meanings behind all those weird things I conjured up, and I will try to face them like a man.

"The part about me…", Selena said after I quieted a bit, "You fear me turning on you…revealing you as a slave. You're afraid that's how I truly see you but I'm not saying it to you. You fear me betraying you…and you didn't like the feeling of hating me for that minute of time. You want to believe you could easily pack your things and run out. But then you were on the stairs, unable to leave. You don't want to leave me."

"You're right…every word…is right.", I admitted with a soft voice, stroking her fingers as they held my other hand, "I do trust you, Selena. But that scares me. Everyone I trust lets me down. And I keep asking myself, why you'd want me. Everyone in my world has an ulterior motive. I keep wondering if you have one, too. But then I look in your eyes…and I see you…I see that you're real. And that you're not lying to me."

"See that I love you, too.", she jerked my chin towards her, making me look into her face.

I smiled and responded, "I do see that. And I hope you see that in my eyes, too, Selena. I do love you…so very much."

We cried together and held each other…and the people walking by didn't even seem to notice us. We were invisible…and it was amazing.

"What are we going to do?", Selena cried, almost to herself. I didn't have an answer…and it broke my heart.

After a long time, I made her walk with me again…and I tried to make her smile again. I made myself turn playful again, and eventually, it seemed to work.

Later, we ate giant subs, sitting outside in the balmy weather, not needing to fill every minute with empty talk. We were like an old married couple sometimes, just needing each other's company to be happy.

"You know what's really strange?", I asked Selena as we walked on the sidewalks, "I can't think of any games to play with you now. I just want to make love to you again. In bed…the boring, old fashioned way."

I laughed and so did she.

"It was…the best night of my life.", Selena glanced back at me with a sexy smile, "I never knew it could be so…"

"I know." I agreed, fascinated by it as much as she was now, "I hate to say it, but…I don't think I ever reached that feeling…even with Tanya. I think that's why I was so afraid to make love that way with you. It was like I was cheating on her. That feels so wrong to say out loud…but it's true. And I know you love everything true."

She grinned at me and squeezed my hand, "I love true. So that's why I'm telling you this now."

Uh oh. A secret? God, no, don't let it be something terrible.

"My father is coming.", she said, as if she just confessed to being a man or something.

"How nice for him.", I joked, "Who's the girl?"

"Euuuu!", she hit me in the chest as I tried to block her, unsuccessfully, "Shut up, that's my DAD!"

"Alright.", I let myself be serious now, "Why is he coming?"

Selena looked at me, almost ashamed, and answered, "Honestly…I don't know what else to do. I had a feeling you'd reject your parents, so, I called him after I got through to Joseph that day. He'll be here tomorrow night. He's not staying with us in our place. He'll be at a hotel. But when I'm really lost, I call my Dad. It might sound stupid…or a little girl thing to do…but I couldn't think of anyone else who could help us. Are you mad?"

I felt half my mouth smile as I breathed out a whisper of a laugh, "No, I'm not mad. I did all this to us. I put all the pressure on you, making you feel you need to save me somehow. And the more I tell you to stop trying, the more you dig in and fight for me. How could I be mad at you, Selena? I just feel bad you made your father waste a whole trip here. What can he do for me?"

"You don't know until you let him try.", she still had hope in her voice. I wish I could sound that way.

"You didn't tell him that you and I…", I hesitated, "That we sleep together, did you?"

"I left that out for now.", she said and I relaxed instantly, but then she added, "I thought that would be better said face to face."

"Selena, no!", I stopped walking and she turned to me, looking confused.

"Don't tell him, Selena.", I almost demanded, "You don't have to ruin your relationship with your father just because I was too scared to face mine! I won't let you do that. What if he does to you what my father did to me? He could stop paying for your classes, your apartment! You can't tell him, Selena. I won't mind, I'm a good actor. I can pretend we never touched each other. I can stay somewhere else while he's here."

"No, Justin.", Selena smirked at me, leaning on my chest, "I don't want to lose five minutes with you. I'm not ashamed of us. Are you?"

"Of course not.", I felt hurt that she'd even think such a thing, "Besides my daughter, you're the best thing that ever happened to me."

But from her end, she had given up her entire inheritance to me, a male whore who had been fucking her for ten days and nights now. In public…in a CHURCH! Oh God!

"Besides all that," Selena started to walk again, holding my hand and pulling me along behind her, "I don't want you out of my sight. That's why I didn't go back to school yesterday or today…and I'm not going tomorrow. I don't want anything happening to you while I'm gone."

"I can take care of myself, Selena.", I smiled, loving it that she wanted to protect me. As if she was a great fighter. Hell, I can beat up four guys now all by myself, thanks to Emmett's lessons.

"If Victoria came to my place during the day, while I was at school and said, 'Time to come home, Justin.', what would you do?", she challenged, smirking, as if she was so sure of my answer.

I hated that. She knew how owned I was.

I stopped walking and Selena's hand broke away from mine as she took a step or two more, turning her head to me.

"At least you can see my weakness clearly.", I muttered, feeling unworthy of her again.

"Oh, stop it, Justin.", she gave me a look that I didn't like, and she grabbed my hand, "It's not you being weak that holds you to her…I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I just meant, she could take you away at any time, and wouldn't even give you time to leave me a note or anything. Ever since that night I tackled her…I've been worried that she'd steal you away from me. And I don't want to let you go yet…ever."

Only Selena could take me from feeling like nothing…to being a King in a few sentences.

I took her in my arms and placed a very deep, passionate kiss into her mouth as she clawed my back a little bit, thrilling me with sweet little pains as I touched my tongue to hers…tasting her, sweet peppermint.

"Your father is going to hate me.", I informed as we slowly came out of our kiss. My nose was still touching hers when I said this, waking her out of her dream that everything was going to be alright.

"I know.", she admitted, "But he'll get over it. And he will help you. He's a good cop."

"He'll lock me up.", I smiled, amused by that vision myself.

"I won't let him do that.", she kissed me again, "I'm the only one who gets to lock you up."

I laughed and kissed her back quickly, then said, "He'll punch me in the face, then. I violated his daughter…in many, many ways. And I'm a whore. He'll drag you to the hospital to get checked out. He'll probably sleep in between us the entire weekend."

She giggled, imagining that, "I could see him doing that. But I'm not a child anymore. I won't let him do that. This weekend is ours. I won't let him destroy it for us."

"Saturday night.", I said, kissing her with a little smile.

"What about it?", she kissed me back, just as briefly.

"We have a date.", I informed, "A special…dress up date."

"We do?", her eyes lit up a bit.

"We do.", I confirmed, "I know you don't like fancy and dress-up, but…I want you to see me in a suit…and I want to see you in a dress. I want to dance with you…and I want to play the piano for you."

"I will dress up…", she agreed with a grin, "I would do anything to hear you play. But the dancing…you could get hurt, Justin."

"I'm tougher than I look, Selena.", I assured, taking her hand and slow dancing with her on the sidewalk, "See, we're practically dancing right now."

"My feet aren't moving.", Selena laughed and I looked and saw she was right. She was just rocking back and forth, but kept her feet cemented in place.

"Cheater.", I accused softly, kissing her forehead, still "dancing" with her.

A moment later, I heard myself saying, "Please don't tell your father that you slept with me, Selena. I don't want your life ruined. You have a good strong bond with your father. I can tell by your stories of him on our 'first date'. Don't throw that away for me."

"I do have a good strong bond with him.", she said, "That's why I can tell him anything…and I know he'll still be there, loving me anyway. Even if he's disappointed in me. I know his love for me is forever. We've been through too much together for me to lie to him now. Besides, how can I ask you to give me the truth always if I lie when it's convenient for me?"

I sighed and envied her belief in her father. I had to admit the truth again.

"You are so much stronger than me, Selena.", I said, knowing it, "I wish we had more time…you could teach me that."

"I'm not giving up on you, Justin.", she said, clinging to me tighter, "Don't you give up yet."

"You couldn't teach your kind of strength.", I said now, thinking better of it, "It has to be born in you."

"You have it, too, Justin.", she glared into my eyes, "It's just buried. It will rise up again."

"That dream I had…", I started to walk again, my arm around Selena, taking her with me, "I screamed 'fuck you' at my father. I told him off. It felt so good. You would've been proud of me, I think. I should've known it was a dream. In real life, I never do that."

"If you can dream it…you can do it.", she replied.

"I'm sorry I chickened out today.", I said, really feeling awful, "You're so brave and I'm so…"

"Shut up, Justin.", she put a hand over my mouth, "Before I stick a ball in there."

/

EPOV

"Can't think of any games, huh?", Selena shoved me into a classroom after she gave me a tour of her college campus.

It was evening now and most of the classes were over and the halls fairly empty.

Even now, this classroom, without the lights being on, was very dim and dark, but not completely black.

"Oooh, the classroom…", I said, internally smacking myself for not thinking of it before.

I had thought of it before. But deep down, I didn't want to jeopardize Selena's standing in her school, and I had rejected the student/teacher scene…but if she was instigating this, who was I to complain?

I wonder if she's going to be the student or the teacher? I couldn't wait to find out.

I just stood there, waiting for her to begin.

"You wanted to see me, Mr. Bieber?", she chose to be the student….I wanted to exude a wicked laugh…I am an evil teacher.

It occurred to me that she didn't want to keep placing me in the sub role. She wanted to see me in true dom mode. I think she enjoyed my apartment rapist fantasy a little too much for her own good.

"I don't really WANT to SEE you, Miss Gomez, but I'm forced to.", I made my voice cold and full of ice, going to the desk and leaning my ass against the edge of it, crossing my arms, "What the hell was that paper you wrote for me? Please tell me that's some kind of a joke, Miss Gomez."

She looked at me, as nervously as if I were a real teacher of hers. I couldn't tell if she was really afraid of me, or if she was acting. If she was, she was incredible.

"What was…wrong with it, Mr. Bieber?", she asked timidly.

"What wasn't wrong with is, Miss Gomez?", I huffed, "I could get better thoughts out of a six year old!"

"What exactly didn't you like?", she asked, looking defeated already.

"It's not my job to point out all your mistakes!", I scoffed, "I shouldn't even be talking to you about it now. I should just fail you and let you repeat the course all over again next term…with me."

She looked down and I stood up straight now, coming towards her.

"That just makes you sick to your stomach, doesn't it?", I squinted, "Living through another year with me?"

"No, Mr. Bieber…"

"Yes, Miss Gomez.", I scowled, "I know you hate me. To be honest, I'm not that fond of you, either. But we're stuck with each other."

She let out a breath and I was near the blackboard, taking the long pointer stick into my right hand.

"But I think I know a new way to make you learn.", I announced and her eyes raised up to my cruel gaze.

"Come over here and raise your skirt.", I commanded.

"What?", she looked more afraid now.

"God, you're pathetic.", I seethed, "Come over here. And. Raise. Your. Skirt."

I spoke slowly as if she had a mental problem.

She glanced at the door out and I didn't let my emotions show.

"Go if you like, Miss Gomez.", I shrugged, "I'm not holding you prisoner here. But know this – if you walk out before I dismiss you, you will keep failing my class…and you'll never graduate. Can you really afford to sit here until you're thirty, Miss Gomez?"

"Now do what I said.", I demanded, my face frowning at her.

She came over and lifted her skirt, showing a new pair of panties…one of the ones she bought that day with the girls and Emmett and Jasper…God, it's sexy! Red lace…yumm.

But something else was happening inside me. I didn't want to hit her with my stick. I didn't want to play.

I waited a minute of two…waiting to see if my mean teacher character would resurface…but he was gone.

"Selena?", I asked, frowning, hoping she wasn't disappointed in me.

"Yes, Mr. Bieber?", she asked, still playing her role.

"No, Selena," I put the stick down in the blackboard shelf and moved her skirt down, turning her towards me, holding her arms gently.

"Is it okay if we don't…do this?", I asked, looking towards the floor.

She looked at me and smiled this dazzling, beautiful smile.

"What's the matter?", I asked, afraid she'd start laughing at me.

"What do you mean?", she asked, waiting for me to explain.

"I'm so tired of playing games…and roles…and scenes…", I confessed, honestly, "I mean, if you want me to…I will, for you…but…can we just go home and make love…like we did the other night?"

She let out a breath and I noticed now she had tears in her eyes.

"Selena, I'm sorry.", I touched her face, "Never mind…I…I'll play with you…"

"Shut up, you little dope.", she wept, smiling, taking me into her arms so tightly I almost winced, "I am so glad to hear you say those things, Justin. I was hoping you would say it."

"That was a test?", I smiled at her, the little sneak strikes again.

She gave a little nod and I let my smile unfurl across my face.

"You little creep.", I brought her in for a huge, hard kiss.

We weren't playing school anymore but I enjoyed about twenty minutes of making out with Selena as she laid on the teacher's desk…I was half laying on her chest and her legs were wrapped around my ass as my erection threatened to take her right there, even ripping through her new panties if necessary.

"Let's get out of here.", I suggested at last and in minutes, we were running…racing each other back home to Selena's place. We were little kids…free and unafraid.

As we climbed up the stairs to her apartment, I scooped her up into my arms and put her on my back, holding her legs around my waist as I leapt, two stairs at a time, to get to her door so I could kick it in and make passionate, sweaty love to her all night.

But when we approached the door, there was a white envelope sticking halfway under it. I recognized my father's handwriting – and the last half my name – ARD showing before we unlocked the door.

If anything could kill an erection of mine…it was anything to do with my father.

Rest in peace, erection. I'll miss you.

I put Selena down on her feet and unlocked the door. I hate my father. I had finally felt alive again…free…and young…and now there's some letter here from him.

Selena saw it too and didn't say a word as we went inside. She picked the letter up, seeing my name in bold letters written across the envelope.

Closing the door behind us, I knew we had a decision to make now. Do we read it and deal with whatever it has to say…or burn it and forever forget them?

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