• SofiaF

    mumbled "Struggling with corny confessions of love"

    4 years agoSvar
    Hi everyone on Movella,

    Writing the final scene for my YA book The Fox and my male MC tells the heroine that he loves her.
    She doesn't believe it, because of all the difficult things she's been through in her life.
    But he tells her why.

    Is this paragraph too cheesy?
    Your input/thoughts would be greatly appreciated as these kind of scenes are not my forte...

    “I know you think your soul is beyond saving, but this is what makes you beautiful to me. You care enough about what you’ve done to punish yourself over and over again. And still, after all you’ve suffered, you’re brave, and you’re honourable. In spite of what you’ve done, I love you for what you are - what your circumstances did not destroy.”

    Thanks in advance!!
    Eve Smallman
    4 years ago
    Hmmm, I'm kind of not a fan of the fact he only mentions what her struggles have made her, not like little things about her (like how she fiddles with her hair when she's excited or something) :). You do have a nice writing style though!
    SofiaF
    4 years ago
    Hi @[Enya Sanders☕️] thats a very good point that I didn't even consider - definitely adding that in! Thanks so much :)