What am I gonna do? I didn't mean for it to happen, honestly! It was just one night...yet I ended up like this.
It was just one night, a week ago. My eighteenth birthday, to be precise. I went out with my friends to celebrate, as expected, but...but...we should never have gone into that bar! I should have spoke up! I don't even like alcohol anyway; I can barely stomach the red wine at Communion.
Well, I thought I didn't. What was it I had? It was sweet-tasting, slightly fruity, with pineapple cubes, grapes, orange pieces and other fruit salad-style things floating on top. That was quite nice. Still, it wasn't an excuse for me to have so much!
That guy though...he was just as tasty as the drink. An impressive chest, all too visible under that v-neck. If I wasn't so hammered, I might have had his number. Instead, I got "something else" from him, and he took something from me. Something that should have been saved for my husband, when I get one.
I couldn't stop him though! Well, to be honest I didn't want him to. I should have when he threw my dress to the floor, but I didn't. I let him go all the way. Now I'm left with the evidence.
I shift a little on the hard plastic of the bath edge, holding the truth-stick in my hand. Its got a little screen on one side, showing the symbol of Our Lord. It should mean love, sacrifice, faith and obedience, but in this case, it doesn't.
It means lust, disobedience, wanton and being what I am now...pregnant.
"What am I gonna do? Mum...mum will kick me out! So will my church! What am I gonna do?" I whisper, as tiny, wet tears run off my chin and soak my old Care Bears shirt. It's a little babyish, but it's so comfy. Plus, who's gonna know what I wear to bed?
Well except him, whoever he was. Though as I wasn't wearing much, that doesn't count.
Who am I kidding? Of course it does! The tiny spark inside me right now proves it. I am pregnant, and I've got to do something about it!
I can't do that though! Can I? Is it even alive, so would it be murder? It wasn't around then, so it's not in the Bible. Mind you, neither was electricity, yet I use that all the time. Is it right?
No, of course it's not! It's murder, and that's definitely in the Bible! Thou shalt not kill! I can't have an abortion...it's wrong!