1. Your Past Is Knocking.
5 Months Later
Taking long walks has been something that I’ve always done. I walked whenever I had the chance but now since “that day” I’ve been doing it more often, but maybe that was because I didn’t have a car to get anywhere. It still helps clear my mind but no amount of walking can wipe away my memories. I’ve learned a lot of things since I left, one of them being how hard it is to stay hidden, especially when your “mother” is in the FBI and your ex-boyfriend is a member of the biggest boy band on the planet. I couldn’t get away and I desperately needed to, I needed my space, I needed to find out who I was before I could be labeled as someone like Harry Styles girlfriend. The paparazzi started to follow me everywhere trying asking about Harry and I’s relationship, they still thought we were together even though it’s been months since we spoke last. I left London and went to New York to live with Brandi. I never told her what really happened; just that Harry and I broke up. I had to lie to her and tell her that me and Natasha got into a huge fight so she wouldn’t communicate with her, I didn’t want anyone to figure out where I was and I just wasn’t ready to say that I was… well not my “mother’s”. I couldn’t get away from all of the cameras so I took some drastic measures. I changed my look: all black shoulder length hair, I wore my glasses and I knew that if Natasha saw the outfits I wear now she would DIE but it has to be done. The pap’s wasn’t the only thing that was hard to get away from, my thoughts of him still lingered in my head and it didn’t help that everywhere I turned I would see he’s face: he’s beautiful smile with his dimples on full display, green eyes sparkling like emeralds and don’t get me started on the mop of curls that were on his head just asking to get tangled in my fingers like they use to. I’m constantly scared whenever I do get into Brandi’s car that luck wouldn’t be on my side and one of his songs would play.
“Sorry” Brandi always said before changing it quickly.
There are times that I still find myself getting scared when I reach for my necklace and don’t find it. Truth is I wanted to keep it but I knew that Harry would come looking for me if he had any hope of us getting back together, leaving the necklace was the nail in the coffin of our relationship. I want to lie and be able to say that I don’t cry at night or that I didn’t relapse with my eating disorder, but I do and I did. How else am I supposed to handle all of this, finding out that you are not the person you thought you were for seventeen years? How could I give Harry all of me when I don’t even know who I am? I always have the same dream that none of this happened and I was still with Harry starring at the view from our dinner table in Paris. Brandi’s been the best support through everything, she did her best to make me feel at home but home is where your heart is and my heart is on a world tour.
“CAN YOU GET THE DOOR FOR ME ESTRELLA?” Brandi yelled from the kitchen.
“GOT IT!” I yelled back after sipping on my cup of hot chocolate since the winters here are fierce, still cringing at the sound of the name that wasn’t meant to be mine.
I swung open the door and my whole body went numb. I dropped my mug of hot chocolate on the floor and didn’t even react when it burned my thigh, most likely giving me a second degree burn. All of the memories from my old life flashed before my eyes. The person spoke but I couldn’t respond.
“Hey.” They said.
“Estrella what the hell was that noise? What’s going o—“Brandi began asking but froze just as I did when she saw who was at the door, but unlike me she had the ability to speak.