1. Audition.....AGAIN
Today was the day the day I lily blue will audition for the xfactor again ok so I'm nineteen years young have long wavy brown hair crystal blue eyes I'm 5'9 and is best friends with Liam Payne but I'm not sure if he remembers me witch I doubt he does right know I'm sighing up uhhhhhh I hope this goes well
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It was my turn and i was freaking out I walked on stage calmly "hi my name is lily blue" I said
"Lily do I know you" Simon asked
"Yes you do about 4 years ago Simon"
"Ahhh yes,wow 4 years"
"Yup"I said poping the p
"Ok so what are you going to sing today"
"I'm gonna sing we are never getting back together by Taylor swift" I said I heard the music begin to play and I started to sing
As I finished the song people started clapping
"Wow I love your voice it's amazing i think you have a great talent"one of the judges said "it's a yes for me"
"Yes"
"Yes"
And then it was Simons turn
"Lily ...............you've got 4 yeses congratulation" Simon said
I was so happy "thank you thank you so much" I said and went backstage were my family was I hugged my mom and brother who was smaller than me but taller and high fived my step dad I was so happy
Chapter 1 should give you a good idea on how to format better and avoid run-ons, because you seem to forget periods here and there. Ignore the tongue-in-cheek.
Now onto the actual thing: Love the character depth. Love it! This is a fanfic with some good talent. But I do have a problem with some of the imagery. The fireworks flying everywhere from the kiss? A bit cheesy. Also, sequel is with an e, not an a. That's all I have to say, lovely story. I've liked it.