Follower

by
Izzy.R
  • Published:
    5 Aug 12
  • On 6 favourite lists
  • 1255 views
Blurb A women named Sara who is a writer and writes about things she has seen recently. She bases her story on a murder she reads in a newspaper and she starts seeing some of the action herself. Instead of reporting the constant murderer to the police, she follows him and writes this story based on his actions. After finshing the story, a disaster happens and the police are suddenly involved after all this time. Sara is in trouble but the police are concerned about how she found out all the evidence, all is revealed...
No keywords
Category:
Mystery & Suspense
Rating:
Approx 9 minutes to read


Follower

1. Jamie

"Hi"

I jumped, the voice startled me.

"Hello, sorry, did you want something?" I asked, trying not to sound rude.

"Yes, sorry, could I sit here?" He asked. I looked around, the coffee shop was full, only a couple of seats left, the opposite seat one of them.

"Yes, of course, take it." I told him, slightly annoyed he took it. I'm not anti-social, I 'm just better without company, I am a very content person. I relaxed again and took a sip of my coffee.

"Jamie." The man said. I looked at him irritated; he didn't know when to stop, did he.

"My name is Jamie, and yours is Sara?"

I stared at him, now confused and slightly freaked out. How did he know my name? He must have noticed my startled stare as he started speaking again.

"I saw your note pad, Sara Renyolds. That is your name isn't it?"

"Yes that is my name, nice to meet you Jamie." I said, as sarcastically as possible. Jamie obviously didn't take the hint as he picked up MY newspaper and started reading it with a stupid grin on his face. I noticed his idiotic grin turned into a frown when he read the headlines of today’s paper.

"Oh my god, have you seen the headlines, of today’s papers." He asked.

"Yes." I said, not even looking up. His words sounded a bit broken when he spoke but I decided not to look into it.

"A murder. In Picton Street, last night, hang on." He looked out of the window the other side of the road.

"That’s Picton Street right? Just across the road, were you aware of this?"

"Yes, yes, yes and once again yes." I said back to him, angry that he was being so irratating with all his questions. I took another sip of my coffee and slouched back down into the comfy sofa. I was going over the conversation in my head when I actually realised what he said.

"Hang on, a murder?" I asked. I snatched the paper out of his hands and started reading. A young woman, Jessica Afle had been stabbed behind a bakery in Picton Street. The body was found by a man who was on a run early this morning at 6 o'clock in the morning. Jessica’s friends had last seen her at the party Jessica left at 1 o'clock at night. The police hadn't found a weapon used to kill Jessica and they hadn't found any finger prints on her clothes either and they still haven’t found a suspect for the murder.

I looked up to discuss with Jamie but he had already left.

 

 

Comments (9)

  • IzzyGizzardThis is really good, I can't wait for more, I'll like and favourite :)
  • Tru :)great start. :) liked and faved :)
  • VioletRoseWoah this is really good writing! I can't wait for more x
    Liked :'))
    Izzy.RThanks :) nearly finished second chapter :D
  • Annie.GSomeone's been hiding this little masterpiece away, eh? I like it, it looks like a very promising plot, character and story you have laid out in this first chapter! I already have a great sense for Sara's personality. Very mysterious opening...
    Just check through a couple of times, I spotted quite a few typing and spelling errors, a common spelling is 'women' is actually the plural of a singular 'woman'! Also, with your resume, I think you reveal a little too much! Something like, "After writing a story on a local murder, Sara starts to find out a little more than she intended, putting herself, and others in mortal danger. Where will this murderer stop to keep his sin secret? And what will Sara have to do to bring justice to the case?" You know, film/book blurb to really catch attention but not give too much away, that's all a reader wants to know before starting the actual story. I mean, you wouldn't want to ruin any surprises, just set the scene and build up a bit of tension/foreshadowing!
    Anyhow, this actual chapter is VERY impressive, and I am now so curious and hungry for more! Real, really good!! xx
    P.S. when are you going to enter the poetry competition?? I'm getting impatient! O.o
    Izzy.ROk, good idea, I think I did give too much away in the resume so I will change that! I'm not sure if I'm going to do the competition :(
  • Elizabeth HaleI really like this so far! You have introduced to the character's viewpoint of the world wonderfully, and the resume makes this look facinating! You even managed to tell us the name of the character without telling that to us via her thought process. It is wonderfully written so far. :) I did catch one or two punctation marks that were periods that needed to be a question mark. Look over that just in case I am wrong. I hope to read more! :)
    Izzy.RThanks :) haha sorry about the punctuation marks, I will try and correct them. Thanks for the helpful words. :)
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