Just imagine this ...
You know, it's time to go. You've said that to yourself over a million times, but this time, you know for sure, is real. You're tired ... you're just so tired. Your parents pissed you off, like school wasn't bad enough today. You go to get the rope or the knife or the gun or whatever you choose to use, because you're that desperate. You're ready. You think of it as a game ... the first one dead is the one who wins. No one's home, it's the perfect time. You're ready. If you don't do it, you're gonna look down on yourself even more forever. You're just going to hate yourself even more. No one know, no one will know ... until tomorrow.
Instead of getting a paper and a pen, you get the video camera out along with a chair. You're standing on the chair. You decided to go with the rope ... you're gone instantly and there will be no noise. One side of the rope is tied to the top of your fan and the other is already aroung your neck. You're in tears, you know it's for real this time. You turn on the video camera and just stare at the red light blinking upon your eyes. You start to mumble out a few words. "Mom and dad, I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm sorry, but I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore. Please, don't blame yourself, please. I love you both and tell my siblings the same. I'll see you all soon."
You say sorry to your best friend, because you know, you won't be there for him/her anymore, when he/she needs you more than ever. You say sorry to everyone, you could think of ... even yourself. You're sorry for not being strong anymore. You're sorry for breaking down. You're sorry for putting them through so much pain in their life. You stare, once again, at the red light blinking upon your eyes. One foot is off the chair as you begin to mouth the word 'goodbye'. You have the remote control to turn off the camera in your hand. You clicked the off button and as soon as you see that light go off, you go off. Both feet are now off the chair ... the chair is on the floor ... the room is filled with silence.
You're dead. You're gone. There is no going back. Everything is over. You don't have to live in pain anymore ... but everyone else will. What are your parents going to think? What about your brother or sister? What are they going to do? You're gone. You're dead. There is no going back. You ended your life. Your parents are home. They call you name, telling you that they're home, just like they normally do, when they get home ... but something's different. You don't answer. They get worried ... you always answer. They come upstair, thinking you're sleeping or showering. Your mom opens your bedroomdor and screams at the top of her lungs. She instantly passes out. Now your sibling comes up after her. He/she screams: "Daddy, help!"
He/she runs over to you, hitting your leg, begging you to wake up.
"Wake up, wake up, wake up! Please, wake up!"
But you don’t answer, you’re not waking up. You’re gone. You’re dead. There is no going back. Your dad comes running upstairs and all he could do is stare. He watches his baby girl swing back and forth on a rope. He sees the video camera and he sees the chair. But he doesn’t move. He's stiff as a board. He cries. Your dad never cries. He picks up the phone and calls 911. He can barely get the words "My daughter committed suicide" out of his mouth. Your sibling stares at your dad, crying harder than ever. He/she knows, you're gone. You're dead. There is no going back. Everything is over.
The cops finally arrive. They push your dad and sibling out of your room and make them sit in the living room instead. They take your body down off the ropes and lay you on the stretcher. They cover your body and out, you go ... just like that. You're gone. You're dead. There is no going back. Nothing is the same.
Two weeks have passed and your mom still stares out the window more than half of the day. Your sibling(s) still haven't returned to school. Your dad is forced to go to work, so he can pay all the bills for your wake and funeral. Everntually, they found the strength to go into your room. Your door hasn't been open since the accident. The rope is still laying on the floot and the video camera is still sitting on the table. They don't even dare to watch the video, it will never be seen. They slowly pick up the rope and throw it in the garbage. Chills run op their spine, your mom is basically in tears. They brush off your bed, making it neat ... like they used to do every morning after your went to school. Your bed was made and your room was clean. They shut the door and it remained shut.
Your school is still in distress. You thought, no one cared and you thought, no one noticed you. The girl, that said no to being your lab partner, yeah, she cuts every single night now because she thinks it's her fault, you died. The boy that tripped you by an accident and didn't say sorry, yeah, he's in suicidal therapy 5 days a week in a hospital, because he feels a smile could've saved your life and he didn't give that to you. The teacher, that was hard on you that day, she quit her job, because she felt, she wasn't suited to teach anymore. You're gone. You're dead. There is no going back.
4 years have passed. Your family wonders, what your problem was. They guessed, it was, that you didn't want to talk to anyone. You has everything bottled up inside of you. You acted as if you were the happiest kid on the planet and you had the perfect life. You played that character so well, that even you started to believe it. You would be so 'happy' and as soon as you layed in bed at night, the thought would come back. A little fight between your parents could have set you off. But with everything inside of you, bottled up for years, it hit your limits. You're gone. You're dead. There is no going back.
Your room will never be occupied. Your mom still cries every single night. Your dad isn't as strong as he used to be. Your sibling(s) will never have you by their side, moving them in the right direction. Your best friend is still torn up. Your school now has a club dedicated to you, so teens will not make the same mistake, you did.
Your life was precious and you took it away in the blink of an eye. All you needed was a smile, that's all you needed. But since you're gone, just know people cared. People always have cared. You were just way too upset to see that. You were just too caught up in the fact, that you thought, no one cared ... when the truth was, more people cared about that, than you ever thought, they would. Your town will never be the same. A girl is gona, a special girl who thought, no on cared. Everyone cared. I promise you. They care, they always have cared.
I care and I love you.
This gives me the chills. It's just so beautifully written, like really. I just really love the message and it will never fail to make me cry. It will always touch my heart, no matter how happy, I get. This will always be able to touch my heart and make me cry. I don't really know, who actually wrote this, but wow ... I can't even find the right words to say right now.
Everyone is able to smile and say: "I'm fine, thanks," but not everyone can say it and actually mean it. Behind every person is a story. A story about their struggles and battles ...
I think, everyone should know, how beloved, they are. People don't always realize how much, they have, before it's gone, and it's just really sad. They should appreciate, what they have, because one day it'll all be gone. I hope, this touched you guys as much as it touched me. I care.