Robin

by
Alix
  • Published:
    14 Jul 12
  • On 1 favourite lists
  • 692 views
Blurb This is a story I started when I was nine years old, and it was going to lead into a hypnotism story as I was really into Molly Moon at the time, but then I stopped for no apparent reason!
Approx 2 minutes to read


Robin

1. I'll Look After You.

 

Nobody expected anything to happen that evening. Nothing at all. Mr. Woodby especially was expecting a quiet Thursday evening, sitting on his strange old worn stripy chair with a pork pie, listening intently to the wireless. Then came the knock.

 

Mr. Woodby didn’t have many friends, but he was a man who kept himself to himself, and didn’t expect visitors except the postman, milkman and old Mrs. Pettigrew who delivered his pork pies daily. So you could imagine how astonished he was when he opened the door and found a shriveled up old woman, shrouded in a black cloth, mist encircling her ankles. In her arms there was another black-clothed person, obviously a small child or even a baby. Mr. Woodby coughed. “Good evening?” He said, worriedly. “Can I, erm… help you?”

Without warning the old lady pushed the small parcel like child into his arms and in a puff of smoke she was gone. Or was she. Mr. Woodby could still feel her icy cold presence hanging in the air, and smell her musty stench of mothballs. He was bewildered. Surely this child wasn’t anything to do with him? Perhaps the woman had made a mistake, come to the wrong door number or something. Or world!  Mr. Woodby laughed under his breath as he placed the baby on his doorstep and banged the door shut without a backward glance.

 

An hour later, when Mr. Woodby was just listening to a BBC radio 4 documentary on hypnotism, the deathly shrieking of the baby that had been going on for an eternity, stopped. It wasn’t that Mr. Woodby was cruel; he just didn’t want to be caught up in a struggle where the police would have to be involved. He wasn’t worried about the child until he heard a strange sort of happy bubbling sound. A sound he hadn’t heard for a long time. Laughter. Mr. Woodby crept from the living room and over to the front door. He opened it. There, before his tired grey eyes was a joyful sight of the tiny baby fast asleep. It’s tiny snoring breaths were the sweetest music Mr. Woodby had ever heard. His heart lifted. Just then, a beautiful robin fluttered down from the heavens and landed on her heaving chest. “Robin,” Mr. Woodby whispered, picking the baby up. “I’ll look after you.” 

 

Comments (5)

  • WriterManIts really good, the atmosphere you have set really fits the story you are writing, truly inspirational. please carry on with this as I will fave it and want to read the following chapters. If you have time between writing the next amazing chapters to this story, I'd appreciate it if you took some time (not much) to read the beginning of a book I have just started called 'Nightmares' thank you very much. x
    Alix Hey, sorry I didn't reply to your comment earlier, thank you very much for the amazing feedback! Unfortunately I won't be carrying on with this in the near future as I have a lot of writing projects underway that I want to prioritise, but definitely in the future I will take it up! Sure I will check out your Movella :D x
    WriterManoh thats alright. its understandable. that happens a lot with me. ive just got too much to write. at the moment I'm working on a holiday project. but at the same time trying to continue with my other stories. but i look forward to when you do eventually pick this up again. thank you. please leave a comment once you have read it so i might improve. x
  • moomin98This is a very interesting start. Your use if description is really entrancing, I'm completely hooked. Often, I would say that some of your description is a little excessive (ie: strange old worn stripy chair) but in this particular piece, I think that it fits quite well. It's really interesting that you've done this: I've been looking to experiment with this style for a while and it's nice to see that you have pulled this off so well. Only thing is that I'd like to see some more!! :D Keep writing!!!
    Alix Thank you so much! I really appreciate your feedback, I wrote this story six years ago so obviously it's not perfect, but I may take it up again :)
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