1. I thought he loved me.
I knew he'd done it before to other girls, sex i mean but i thought he'd changed, i thought i was smething special to him. I lost my best friend to him, the only one i could talk too. I poured my heart out to him, i gave him my virginity and he just threw it all back in my face. I must have meant nothing, just like all the other girls. He's going out with Mimi Lilt now. Casey warned me, she'd been paying attention to the things going on her around her, but i was so in love i took no notice. Before him i got bullied, with him i WAS one of the bullies, after him i was back to square one, nothing. And the worst thing about it is i let him inside me. Most of the girls were raped but me, i welcomed it. I can't say i enjoyed it but i welcomed it. Some girl who'd been assaulted wrote about it int eh back of this book called the truth, only after did i look. I play violin and on the day we did it, i waited til my parents were out, invited him up to my room and sat there naked while he did it too me. I should warn you this isn't a nice story about happy ever afters and prince charmings, this is my nightmare but the hting is...I just want to be heard.