1. Im scared of Life
Life genuinely terrifies me. Could I please not stay a teenager forever. That way my life would forever be constantly sorted and I wouldn’t have to make such impacting and huge decisions.
I talk all the time about traveling and getting married and having kids but the truth is the whole idea frightens me. I want to travel so much, in fact I want to spend years on it and especially if it involves traveling in my wanted career-editing. But would the traveling cost me my relationship?
I don’t want to let go of it when Ive worked so hard to get to the stage were at now.
Getting married is another major thing that I do think about a lot at the minute because I’m in a relationship and have been for over 18 months now. For me I somehow have got this stereotypical idea in my head that once your married your life changes dramatically and that your not as free as you were when single or dating and your suddenly tied down. I know it isn’t always this way but I cant seem to shake this idea from my head. Another thing I focus on a lot is the fact that youre deciding to spend the rest of your life with this person-Through thick and thin. Im scared it wont work out and divorce happens and I'm also scared at the idea of devoting all my love to this person for the rest of my life. Im not saying that there not the man of my dreams and that I don’t want to be with them,Im just worried about commiting myself to them and then discovering somebody that I meet and its too late.
Then there is the issue of a family and don’t get me wrong I love kids. I scared that I would resent them if I had them to early and it freaks me out that suddenly there is a little life that totally relies and it isn’t about you anymore. I don’t say this to sound vain… I mean that you are not the only person you have to look after anymore.I think by now you can pretty much grasp the fact that Im at a point in my life where Im thinking deeply about my future and also the fact that I absolutely despise change.