To me Nicholas's idea seemed ridiculous. I did not feel as though another person was inside of me, leaking out the evil inside of me. But he was right, I hadn't seen the girl in the corridor for ages now and I couldn't control my actions. Nicholas hasn't visited me at all for the past two weeks so I have had to just go through the hell and pain that awaited me everyday. Here I am sitting in misery tied down to the bed by the straight jacket that has possessed me everyday since I became a patient in this hell hole.

They catorise me as 'completely deluded' (I have seen it on the notes) I don't stay on the ward, I have my own little room like a prison cell so I don't go around murdering anyone. They have to bring me my medication and force feed it down me.  It feels as if I have slipped down into the depths of hell. Every day they treat me like an animal, every day I get abused, once a week I suffer a form of torture, either electrocution, burns or tablets that give me a painful sleep and there is nothing I can do about it. I don't know what to do, I don't know if i'm sane or insane, I don't know if Nicholas loves me anymore, I don't know weather I want to live or die.