3. Step Up
I look around, "Bee, Bee its you!" "Oh Bee I'm so sorry!" " Bee go up, before they drag you!" my friends chatter. I walk up, palms clenched. " well er,Bee how old are you?" i give a polite answer: "13 years old thank you Effie, and i would rather you called me Byrony, if you don't mind." i smile, being brave. E says she will and i smile more.
Autunm Blaise, an old winner, trys to smile at me but I skowl at her. Even though she seems nice she is a Capitol product. And I hate the Capitol. They killed Zeena Killan. Zeena Killan, who would never hurt any one. Zeena Killan, my cousin. They sent her into the games and district 1 threw a spear in her stomach. She brought me up, Zeena. She took me into the sea and taugh me to swim. Made sure I never got to the career schools. So I will not win. I will die in the final eight like her. Like my cousin.
1) Make sure to capitalize letters at the beginning of a sentence.
2) Rememebr to put spaces in between words with commas, (ex. you said, "Em Cartwright, Leah Magnomh,Vasa Tolona,Joan Kington and Vimii Loreen" There should be spaces inbetween.
3) Start a new line whenever you change speakers
4) It's not odoir, it's Odair.
5) Watch spelling
Then there are a few things I've noticed that you might keep or change. First, the Cartwright Family lived in 12, and if the big Katniss thing didn't happen, then I can't see them moving from a poor impoverished 12, to a somewhat more luxurious 4. Also, if the war didn't happen, then Finnick might not have been able to be with Annie. Another thing, 4 is a Career District, so wouldn't kids be volunteering and everything? Those are just my personal opinions.
But overall, you have a good plot so far! Update soon!