Most stories start at the beginning and so does mine. But the beginning really is the end. When you hear about accidents on the TV you think about how sad it is but you know it won't happen to you. Well I did anyway, until now.
I heard the scream, felt the car fly over the cliff and down into the ravine, then I felt nothing. I heard nothing. I just saw everything. Not just the accident but my tenth birthday and my first day of high school, I saw the day I met Lucas, I saw myself falling into the fog. I realised I was dead.
It doesn't hurt, in case you're wondering, dying I mean. It doesn't really feel like anything. I don't think my mind worked till I came out of the fog. I think the fog was a dead person thing but what came next was a me thing. I landed, or stepped into a familiar street, right in front of a house which had become a second home for over a three years. Lucas' house. It was a Tuesday when I died, just after 5pm and it was the Christmas holidays so that meant he'd be home. I didn't really know what to do and so I just walked up to the door, tried something unbelievably cliché, and tried to walk through it. It worked all the same. I knew my way to his room and I knew his dad was watching the news like any other night while his mum cooked diner. His sister would be at a friends tonight and that wasn't a me being stalker-ish thing, that was me being on the phone to him for an hour last night. I stopped, don't ask me why because I wont answer but I did. I thought at first it was the fear of him seeing me but I'm smart enough to know dead people aren't seen, then I thought it was seeing him and watching his last few hours before the news arrived. No more ideas came after that because the door opened. He stood there, only for a few seconds but long enough, and I just took him in. His hair was that light brown that always looks soft and the waves in his hair made his face look boyish and cheeky. His eyes, a hazelnut colour but always a little green at the middle looked happy. When his mouth parted and I saw all his perfect teeth and saw the way his soft lips moved I felt sad, I felt a tug at my heart. "Mum, Brad said he'll be round for 8!" He called through me and down the stairs. He turned back to his room and I followed. A draw pulling me closer like it had done when I was alive.
That night I watched, I followed him around his house and stayed while Brad came round. Truthfully their conversation was typical boy and that should have bothered me when the subject of us came up but it didn't. I should have felt angry that Lucas would even think about telling Brad that he was going to see if Saturday night would be the night. Which trust me, even if I was still alive wasn't going to happen because I was hoping my little brother wasn't going to be in the room next to us sleeping while it happened. What I was bothered about, more sad, was knowing that even as they spoke it would all be over, the laughter, chatter and fun, in a few hours. I watched him stay up till 2 in the morning playing video games with Brad and keep texting me and picking up his phone every few moments, waiting for a response, a response only I knew would never arrive. He fell asleep around 3 and I sat in front of him, watching the way his steady breathing lifted his chest and smelling his deodorant even though it had been a full day since he'd put it on, but his room did always smell of his deodorant and aftershave anyway. I waited for the call. It arrived sooner than I expected, 5am. I heard a light set of feet creep past the door and down to where the phone was slowly ringing. I didn't hear the conversation but waited till I once again heard the footsteps. they were louder this time. More awake and faster. I saw the light flood into the room as Lucas' mum opened the door and saw his eyes flutter open before his hoarse voice whispered, "What's wrong, what's happened!" For someone who had just woken up he was oddly alert. Grace didn't speak at first, she seemed frozen, scared. Lucas woke up more and more with every second and his mum didn't respond till he was sat up right and staring intensely. "Honey, it's Kat, she - she d- died in a car accident last night, they've just found the car."