When people feel like something is missing, they say there is a hole in them, but I'm different. I miss the hole.
After a life-changing decision was made for me, it’s fair for me to be a little resentful. I’ve noticed that people crave to be different, to stand out, how could they be so blind? I know what it feels like to be different, and it doesn’t feel good.
I was born...a monster and a change had to be made. I was born with both genitalia and so my parents had to make the decision. They wanted a boy. So I had the operation and I became a baby boy who would grow up to hate himself and who he was. Maybe that’s why I grew up to hate the people who could accept who they were, the people who accepted that they were gay or fat or stupid. Or am I just jealous that I can’t normalise my state of being? I didn’t have the choice. I wasn’t asked. My opinion didn’t count. But what could a drooling, screaming baby do about it? Nothing. Now I’m trapped in the wrong body.