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Brothers & Sisters & Friends

by
XxJessxX
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  • Published:
    4 May 12
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Blurb The Poem that sums up everything to do with love friendship and family members :P <3 xx Enjoy! - Jess x
Approx 6 minutes to read


Brothers & Sisters & Friends

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1. Brothers & Sisters

BROTHERS & SISTERS...

Brother can you spare your care?

Why should we beware?              

Breathing the same cold air                                                                                           Living together in a square                                                                                                      

Sister what can we do?                                                                                                 to make you feel less blue                                                                                              

can't we share our care?                                                                                                    instead of hiding in our lair                                                                                              

why is everything so strange to us?                                                                                           how come we gave up with out a fuss                                                                               Is there nothing left of us?                                                                                                  Why do we insist on hiding                                                                                                            when we should be rewinding                                                                                                                                                 

Our Father, Our Mother they are the ones that made us                                                                       Sister,Brother why can't you see that?                                                                                                     Leaving mum and dad like their a stray cat                                                                                                   See what you have done?                                                                                                                              There's no more room for fun                                                                                                                       I know you may want to change for mum and dad to be with them again                                         But your too late...                                                                                                                                   It's already Begun...

 

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Comments (5)

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  • JJMarkI like the poem this builds up the attention to your passion and will.
    Bringing out a poem like this, just, makes me sad to see what is written inside.
    I am now your fan.
  • VeritasHmm I find the setup quite annoying and not at all a benefit to this poem which, in my opinion, is slightly anodyne. Sorry for being rough. Also, the comments in the bottom of it are only making your reader angry. Don't think of your reader as dumb if you want them to read your work again. First of all the meaning is quite obvious and secondly, the reader is allowed to interpret poems in any way they feel. A magician should never reveal his secrets, nor should a poet. I also find the rhyming both forced and or too obvious. Experiment more with the words and use synonyms in a higher register. I don't normally flame people or their work but I think this is what you need to imrpove. You can do much better ;)
  • Diego<3This is very interesting :P The poems are unique Like it xD
    XxJessxXThanks x
  • XxJessxXUpdated
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