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With This Rose

by
Autumn Rayne
+ like 1
  • Published:
    3 May 12
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  • 557 views
Blurb This is actually just a poem that's been in the back of my mind for some time and I now just finally got it written down. I hope you like it.
Plot keywords:
love, rose, forever
Category:
Poetry
Rating:
Approx 1 minutes to read


With This Rose

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1. With This Rose

With this rose
You gave to me your love,
Something I never dreamed of.

With this rose
You gave to me your heart,
And swore to me we’d never be apart.

You saved me from being slain,
And from my heart you broke the chain,
Then you promised me never again would I feel pain.

With this rose
You promised you’d never leave my side,
No longer would I have a reason to hide.

With this rose
I placed my full trust in you,
Someone who was pure and true.

You rescued me from those who were vile,
And for once you made me smile,
Something I haven’t done in a while.

With this rose
You promised to be there should I ever break down and cry,
Or even if a single tear left my eye.

With this rose
You swore I’d never be alone,
Never again left to wander on my own.

You held me in your arms,
And I held you in mine,
You swore we’d be together until the end of time.
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Comments (4)

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  • †Beefiedog†The two diffterent rhyming pattens i feel take your mind off the message you are trying to get a cross, but other than that its a good deeply emotional poem :D
  • deltabravoI myself like to write poetry in rhyme patterns. It was kind of nice to read a romantic one. Would you care to read some of mine and share what you feel about it.
    deltabravoI have updated 2 poems recently
  • VeritasI can't decide whether to like or dislike your changing rhyme patterns. I might be old fashioned about rhyme patters but I just think the poem flows better and less distubingly when the rhyme pattern is persistent throughout the poem. It's a nice poem, don't get me wrong but you can develop yourself into an even better writer ;) I don't know how you write but I can really suggest having a thesaurus and a synonym dictionary next to you, as your rhyming do seem a bit forced and obvious in some stansas. I'm being a bit hard I know, and nitpicking too but it's not fortunate when I can guess what word the next stansa will be ending with. Experiement with the language and suprise the reader, that will make your poetry shine like a star. Please read this as constructive critique as I want to help you become better in anyway I can. ;)
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