OH DEAR GOD!!!!
Seriously, I thought I was about to die!!!!!? Why are my parents so prude?!!! Really?! Really?! Some warning would have been nice, thank you very much!!
There I was, holding my stomach and curled up in a ball on my bed. As I kept rocking back and forth, trying to sum up the courage to get up, I cursed myself for overeating. Then, finally, I staggered up towards the bathroom, plumped myself down on the toilet seat and banged the door shut. Next thing I know, I'm bleeding!! No, not like peeing blood or anything, literally BLEEDING!!!! My knickers looked disgusting and I looked down to see even more blood. I swear to the freaking spirits that may be, I have never panicked so much in my life. The first thought that came to me was how embarrassing it would be for my family to find me dead on the toilet.
After what seemed like ages, I finally realised I was no longer actually gushing out blood. So, I cleaned myself up, and just as a precaution, sat back down on the toilet again...just in case this phenomenon happened to be a recurring one. Seriously, I looked like the dumbest version ever of that statue of the man thinking. At least, I know what he must have felt like pondering away!! Of all the documentaries I had watched about weird diseases, I couldn't recall anything like this. I swear, my first trail of thought was that I was going to end up being famous. I'd be that poor girl stricken with a rare disease in all the teen magazines and my face would be everywhere in the news and papers. I think I spent more time thinking up headlines than I had on my homework that day. Then, I sort of realised, this could be potentially serious, maybe I should talk to mum about it. The question did remain...how the hell was I supposed to tell her about this?! '
Oh well, I really do like my life at the moment, and if it did end up being a massive deal, I would definitely be the favoured child..right?! So, I made my way down to the kitchen, where mum and Amy were cooking. Oh, idea! Maybe, if I spoke to Amy first, she would know what to do! She is my elder sister and my closest friend, after all. I discreetly signalled her to come hither and blurted out my dire and potentially fatal situation to her. What do you know, she bursted out in laughter and I promise you, I could clearly see tears running down her face. She rushed over to mum, repeated my troubles to her as if it was the biggest joke in the world, and lo and behold, both if them just doubled up cackling in my face. I have to say, I was quite perplexed and very much bummed out by their reaction. I won't lie, I was expecting worried faces, insistence of being driven to the hospital and very complicated medical examinations...But, no...all I got was mockery.
Then, my mum calmed down, wiped away that delinquent tear off her face and said: 'Oh darling, you just got your period'...WHAT IN THE NAME OF JESUS WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!!! I just stood there, more confused than ever. She turned to Amy and asked her to go fetch the book and some 'pads'. My sister sauntered back in the kitchen and handed me the items in a very formal manner. It felt as if, I was being made member of a secret committee and that I should bow...No, I did not, I am not that stupid! Mum told me to use the pads to line up my underwear and read the book.. She also, as always, said that this was me growing up and that I should start acting my age. She just slips that anywhere she can, I'm pretty sure she'd tell me the same on my deathbed.
I've just finished reading this book now, supposedly, I've entered puberty...I'm going to be bleeding or 'menstruating' every our weeks for a maximum of 10 days and well, it sucks. Oh well, I'm going to look at the good part of all this, I'm going to be getting boobs, yay!
Oko, so this is my rant of the day. Seriously, I wish someone could have told me sooner and saved me all this worrying!
Talk to you soon, you big blank notebook!