1. 24 October 1999
This is an Earth journal. In it is everything we have observed from the planet Earth. My name is Blurqke and my companion's name is Swurqke. I am a lovely, handsome alien (My picture is on the front cover) and my companion is an ugly fleabag (I couldn't put his picture on the front because it may offend ceratin people who have a passion for mirrors).
We have beem assigned to this task because our leader is a lazy hwacuiewb (hwacuiewb is an extremely offensive term on my planet which sort of means the same as the Earth word 'Toilet'). I love raw potatoes and pre-digested popcorn.