Nothing is like I want it...

Why is all this happening?

I get surprised everytime something new happens...

So... My ex.. He chatted me we couldn't be friends with benefits anymore.. Because... He found a new girl... A month after we broke up...

So... A week after he texted me this... He had a new FaceBook update... My ex and this girl is now in a relationship.. I cried a lot... I'm alone... I really have no idea what to do about this... He is really gone now..

The girl is really emo... Let's just call her crazy b*tch.. And why that name? Well, I asked my ex some questions about them (He said I could ask anything, if there was something I wanted to know).

I asked how they met.. They met each other over this dating app, and they started chatting. They had been chatting for a week and a half when they announce themselves as girl- and boyfriend on Facebook.

i'm kinda thinking she could be a rebound girl for him.... But.. What do I know...

I started to make some process.. I stopped follow him on Spotify! Even though it sounds stupid, it was a big step for me... And I was proud... But yesterday I did a mistake.. I went to spotify.. and searched his name... And saw his new playlist.. With crazy b*chs name on... He did with her what he did with me... He also made me a playlist when we were in a relationship, called by my name... I went to see what songs was on, and it was the same songs that there were on my playlist...

I got really sad.. And cried for some time.. (I was home alone, so I could just cry)

I only chatted him once this week. It was for ask to get the money I lend him, back. He said he would mobilepay them in the next month. And else... Nothing...

One morning, I had to meet later for school. Normally I'm taking a really early train to be sure not to meet my ex (We go to the same school, just not the same building)

I was taking a train after his class normally would have started, but... there he was.. Standing on the train station! I first just stopped.. Then I thoguh "No! He just got a new gf! you have to show you don't care about him anymore!" So I went passed him, without looking at him. But I knew he saw me, because I made sure he was looking up when I passed him.

Also when we got off the train, I made sure to be chatting a boy (just a friend, but my ex doesn't know that) and be looking at my phone, and let him pass me at the station. He was close to running passed me XD It made me kinda happy, to see I had this effect on him! Also the whole way to school, he was walking really fast! XD

 

My friend, Chang, told me to stop talk about it, because then I will stop think on him, so I'm trying!

Also.. I have to move on.. I know this!

I don't feel like I have any reason to live, but I try to live for small things now.. Like playing the violin.. My violin teacher signed me up for this masterclass at Copenhagen music academy​. I hope they accept me!

Also this boy.. From my school asked if I wanted to watch his violin concert tomorrow... Let's call the boy for twin! Because we are pretty similar.. We have the same birthday, he is just a year older, also we both play the violin, likes Harry Potter and have the same humor etc.. It's creepy, so much we have incommon XD

Buuuuuut twin looks good... He never had a gf before... And he is 18 years old.. And if I should go after someone... It would be him. Sooo I'm kinda happy he invited me to his concert! As the only one! he didn't invite our friends, only me!

He did invite me before, but I was to nervous to go. But this time I'm going!

 

So overall I have a pretty low life right now, but I'm trying to fight back a little. Just a little...

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