by , Thursday November 3, 2016

I am 18 and a member of the LDS church. I am a member of the Air National Guard and hope to study social work in the near future. I just needed to get some things off my chest. The past week has been the most stressful seven days yet and it is only getting worse.


Iv come to realize recently that my need to help others has kept me from helping myself. I have become so enveloped in others lives that I find my life is empty and joyless without other people. The problem isn't wanting to help people and it most definitely not a problem that I find joy through other people. No the problem is that I am unable to make myself feel anything but depressed unless I am actively involved in someone else life. This insures that I will be one if two things, extremely invasive of others lives or an extremely unhappy person. Sadly it is the latter.


I am now stepping back, I will pull myself farther into my own world so I can learn to live and be happy with out the overwhelming feeling of dependence on others I have felt for so long. I will learn to love myself not what others see in me, I will no longer base my worth on others opinions of my life. There disapproval of my actions will stop effecting me, because despite popular opinion I am trying to do the right thing.

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