12 Funny Percy Jackson Quotes

@Annabeth Kenobi collects some of the funniest Percy Jackson Quotes and moments

With these quotes it depends how funny you find them. Personally these are my favourite quotes that are funny. From the first ever book Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief to The Blood of Olympus. Well then lets start:



‘ God alert! Blackjack yelled. It's the wine dude!

Mr. D sighed in exasperation. "The next person, or horse, who calls me the 'wine dude' will end up in a bottle of Merlot!”’ - The Titan’s Curse - Blackjack and Mr. D 



‘“We need music," Nico said. "How's your singing?"

"Um, no. Can't you just, like, tell it to open? You're the son of Hades and all."

"It's not so easy. We need music."

I was pretty sure if I tried to sing, all I would cause was an avalanche.”’ - The Last Olympian - Nico and Percy



‘"Like your zodiac sign?" Percy asked. "I'm a Leo."

"No, stupid," Leo said. "I'm a Leo. You're a Percy.”’- The Blood of Olympus- Percy and Leo



“They all ordered massive plates of eggs, pancakes, and reindeer sausage, though Frank looked a little worried about the reindeer. "You think it's okay that we're eating Rudolph?"

"Dude," Percy said, "I could eat Prancer and Blitzen, too. I'm hungry.” -The Son of Neptune - Percy and Frank 



“Nico strode forward. The enemy army fell back before him like he radiated death, which of course he did.

Through the face guard of his skull-shaped helmet, he smiled. "Got your message. Is it too late to join the party?"

"Son of Hades." Kronos spit on the ground. "Do you love death so much you wish to experience it?"

"Your death," Nico said, "would be great for me."

"I'm immortal, you fool! I have escaped Tartarus. You have no business here, and no chance to live."

Nico drew his sword-three feet of wicked sharp Stygian iron, black as a nightmare. "I don't agree.” - The Last Olympian-  Nico and Kronos 



‘“Blackjack," Percy said, "this is Piper and Jason. They're friends."

The horse nickered.

"Uh, maybe later," Percy answered.

Piper had heard that Percy could speak to horses, being the son of the horse lord Poseidon, but she'd never seen it in action.

"What does Blackjack want?" she asked.

"Donuts," Percy said. "Always donuts.”’ - The Mark of Athena - Percy, Piper and Blackjack



“As for my brothers," Zeus said, "we are thankful"-he cleared his throat like the words were hard to get out-"erm, thankful for the aid of Hades."

The lord of the dead nodded. He had a smug look on his face, but I figure he'd earned the right. He patted his son Nico on the shoulders, and Nico looked happier than I'd ever seen him.

"And, of course," Zeus continued, though he looked like his pants were smoldering, "we must...um...thank Poseidon."

"I'm sorry, brother," Poseidon said. "What was that?"

"We must thank Poseidon," Zeus growled. "Without whom . . . it would've been difficult-"

"Difficult?" Poseidon asked innocently.

"Impossible," Zeus said. "Impossible to defeat Typhon.”’- The Last Olympian-  Zeus and Poseidon



“What if we promoted, like, Adidas shoes?’ Percy wondered. ‘Would that make Nike mad enough to show up?" Leo smiled nervously. Maybe he and Percy did share something else – a stupid sense of humour. "Yeah, I bet that would totally be against her sponsorship deal. THOSE ARE NOT THE OFFICIAL SHOES OF THE OLYMPICS! YOU WILL DIE NOW!”’ - The Blood of Olympus- Percy and Leo



‘“Let us find the dam snack bar” Zoë said. “We should eat while we can”

Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?"

Zoë blinked. "Yes. What is funny?"

"Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries."

Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom."......I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoë just looked at me. "I do not understand."

"I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said.

"And..." Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam t-shirt.”’ - The Titan’s Curse - Zoë, Thalia and Grover



‘Very slowly, using only two fingers, Annabeth drew her dagger. Instead of dropping it, she tossed it as far as she could into the water.

Octavian made a squeaking sound. “What was that for? I didn’t say toss it! That could’ve been evidence. Or spoils of war!”

Annabeth tried for a dumb-blonde smile, like: Oh, silly me. Nobody who knew her would have been fooled. But Octavian seemed to buy it. He huffed in exasperation.

“You other two…” He pointed his blade at Hazel and Piper. “Put your weapons on the dock. No funny bus—”

All around the Romans, Charleston Harbor erupted like a Las Vegas fountain putting on a show. When the wall of seawater subsided, the three Romans were in the bay, spluttering and frantically trying to stay afloat in their armor. 

Percy stood on the dock, holding Annabeth’s dagger.

“You dropped this,” he said, totally poker-faced.’ - The Mark of Athena- Percy, Annabeth and Octavian 



"It's him," I said. "Typhon."

I was seriously hoping Chiron would say something good, like 'No, that's our huge friend Leroy! He's going to help us!’ -The Last Olympian - Percy



’”With great power… comes the great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.”’ - The Last Olympian- Nico di Angelo


Hope you enjoyed. - Annabeth Kenobi :)


What are your favourite quotes? Let us know in the comments below

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