Top Ten Harry Potter Jokes and Puns

by , Friday February 27, 2015
Top Ten Harry Potter Jokes and Puns

Only true Potterheads will understand the screams of laughter...

 
***Thanks Evalynne Shadownight for mining these gems***
 
Harry Potter is, obviously, one of the best known and best selling book series in the entire world, and though much of it was written while its author was suffering from depression, there are loads of jokes going around. Here are our top ten:
 
10. Why not start with one of the cheesiest jokes in the Potterverse. You know which one I'm talking about.
 
Why do Death Eaters wear masks?
Because their master doesn't even have a nose to give them!
 
 There's no escaping it, the great Nose-demort takeover has begun!
 
 
9. This one is definitely deserving of its place on the top ten:
 
Knock knock.
Who's there?
You know.
You know who?
 
AVADA KEDAVRA!!!
 
 
 
 
8. Everybody knows it, Hermione: Draco deserved that punch in the face.
 
7. Okay, this one is so totally awesome:
 
Why did Barty Crouch Jr. stop drinking?
It was making him Moody.
^^That's a classic, right there.^^
 
 
6. Girl: *does hand gestures* Lift it up!
Me: No, no, no, stop, you're going to take someone's eye out! And besides, you're saying it all wrong!
 
5. This one's not so much a joke, but it is hilarious, admit it:
Draco Malfoy; Master comedian.
 
4.Why did the competitors have to visit merpeople in the lake?
 
Because no one knows the function of a rubber duck.
 
 
 
3. Come on. You laughed. It is not a Sirius matter, okay, it's punny! Quite Frankly, you people are very Lestrange.
 
 
2. What do you get when you cross a Ravenclaw with the infirmary?
 
Ill-literate.
 
 
1. And finally, the funniest Harry Potter joke ever. Ever. EVER.
 
Kid: Harry Potter is scary.
 
Me: Yep. The second one really petrified me.
 
 
 
Well, folks, who's laughing at these so-bad-it's-good jokes? 
 
That's all the puns and jokes for today, but hopefully I'm not the only one who laughed so much her parents thought she was mental.
 
ΒΥΕ!!! ;)
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